I once met a man from nan-tucket,
he liked to pee in a bucket.
he sat on my lawn,
and fondled my fawn.
So I just said Fuck it.
Today is a splendid day, I have had the pleasure of sitting in a classroom with no windows listening to three grown men speak about god knows what and how I need to know it to do my job when I go back to Iraq. I really don't remember what they were rambling about and I passed it off as such...sensless rambling. All I found myself doing was wandering off into Clintonia, playing catch with my elfs and punching stray rabbits in the stomach. So I decided to pass on to you Clintonism, or the creation of Clintonia, and this passage shall serve as your bible; for it was written by Clinton himself.
There was once a man, we shall call him Clinton, he was a simple man set forth in his ways of drinking, gambling in Indian casinos, and having sex with anything that resembled movement. Yes, life was pleasant. He was ravished with gifts from the magical banana tree; to include bananas, with which he used as weaponry towards the woodland creatures.
One day while Clinton was having his way with a sheep of the forrest, the almighty god himself decided that Clinton needed a companion; one that could insist on saying no, and eventually work her way into a kitchen on some sort. So God had played a mean trick on Clinton. While Clinton sat sleeping, God had created a woman in his image; not Clinton's. He laid the "creation" at the feet of Clinton and when Clinton awoke he had seen the atrocity and demanded that God give him back his sheep. As Clinton sat there looking for something to beat the ugly image up with, God reached down and plucked a rib out of the nearby cow and hurled it into the chest of the atrocity; this is the first documented creation of woman in Clintonia.
Clinton was pissed.
Clinton decided to seek revenge on this man for playing such an awful prank. He thought for a long time while taking a poop behind the bushes and finally came up with the brilliant idea; he would make love to this woman, in place of his sheep tonight. Little did Clinton know that God was always one step ahead of Clinton and sometime later there was a little Clinton running around the grassy patch Clinton called home.
Clinton was upset that such a treacherous act was performed on him so he decided to convince the root of the evil to seek revenge on God; he instructed her to eat an apple that God had condemned. God knew that Clinton was behind this betrayal and ended up exiling all three of them bastards out of "the Garden of Clinton".
Once Clinton was exiled so was his privelage of all of the sheep he could touch. He was forced to live with this "Woman" and it should go without saying that both of them were unhappy with the situation and didn't want to spend time with each other so they developed an attitude towards each other, they only consumated once a week and as such gave young Clinton plenty of brothers and sisters to play with.
Who's a firm believer in Clintonism now?
