So...
Now Playing: Bands
Am I cold? I try not to be. Some things I need to try harder at.
The music helps me.
It is a new year and a lot has changed inside. I can't explain.
Today has been... different. Tattoos have become all too important to me now. I have drawn them out. They are so permanent, such an awesome way to make a statement, to tell a story. An awesome way to prove that forever really exists. You don't understand and that's okay. I am afraid that it will never happen, that it is just another dream that will get thrown to the side. There are too many of those as it is. I am going to hold off on creating new dreams for awhile.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? I have to be a pessimist because I am so weak, so fragile, on the edge of a MAJOR breakdown. I have to keep it together for them, at least until I can strengthen myself. Believing in something is a luxury I cannot handle right now. I cannot take the fall of reality.
I no longer have pills to take the edge off.
("Shhh, don't tell anyone, but it's not the pills that I'm really missing on those difficult, stressful days and nights.")
Listen to the lyrics, there is a secret in there.
Tell me, is this odd?
Drown, Drowning In It
Animal I Have Become, Becoming I
Anything, Nothing
Far Side, The Other Side
Hold On, Let It Die
Radio In A Hole, Radios In Heaven
Take Me Away, Take Me Under
Scared, Whimper
Your Fault, Your Way
Happy Someday, Every Sunday
Hate (I Really Don't Like You), I Hate Everything About You, Making Me Hate You
Leavin', Gone Forever
Finding Myself, Losing Myself
Anyway, I never thought I would be in this position.
Do you ever just want to scream?
When I lay dying, will I finally stop worrying about others and focus on myself?
What do I say? I've imagined it a million times.
If the missing piece isn't missing, what is left to do?
Is this too much? No, I don't think so. I think it will be fine.