Iguanoman: Hi, I’m Iguanoman, and this ugly insect next to me is Battra!

Battra: Hi, I’m Batora and this filthy monkey next to me is Iguanoman!

Iguanoman: Filthy? I just took a shower this morning!

Battra: I wasn’t talking about your hygiene, but your disgusting human race and their vile destruction of what once was a beautiful planet!

Iguanoman: Well I wouldn’t call it harmful but... oh yes the show. Welcome everybody to the third edition of WMW’s Winter Wham! Yes, it has been a while, years in fact. Things weren’t going well for us near the end of last season, and we eventually ended up in bankruptcy. We were forced to sell Fight Island to pay our bills, but we still maintained our off-world equipment.

Battra: You know, it was your little "special projects" that got us into dept in the first place!

Iguanoman: Well those charges on your expense account didn’t help either! You were suppose to use it for official "WMW Commissioner" use only and instead racked up the charges trying to destroy the world!

Battra: Hey, everyone needs a hobby!

Iguanoman (under breath): Great, I’m arguing with a sentient moth sitting on my desk. Why did I let this thing be my co-announcer?

Battra: Because I’m the best in the world! Now get on with the show you idiot human!

Iguanoman: (sigh) Well anyways we managed to get the budget crisis fixed and now we can start with the entertainment again! The kaiju on Monster Island were glad that their days of boredom are finally over with and can go back to killing each other! Twenty elite monsters were selected to take part in a massive battle-royal, where the last monster standing will win the prestigious "Monster of Monsters Trophy". The monsters were chosen based on their historical significance, and one historic event was the "Final Wars" tribute, a wonderful piece depicting some of the greatest kaiju to ever walk the Earth.

Battra: Except me! Stupid Toho and their stupid politics! It’s a conspiracy I say!

Iguanoman: Ignoring that and moving on... although these kaiju have been battling it out with WMW over the years, the "Final Wars" documentation offered a change in appearance for these monsters. Using some genetic modification, we managed to morph our monsters to fit the new designs. Often times these kaiju gain new powers and abilities, but they have retained all the skills they’ve always had. For example, Rodan now has a new sleek appearance and enhanced flying prowess, but still maintains the Uranium Beam he gained in 1993. Most monsters are happy with the physical changes we have given them, but there is one exception. The monster formally known as "Godzilla" received very little change physically, but due to legal reasons he now must be called Zilla. He’s the same giant lizard that has fought here at WMW, but the former World and United States champion is most displeased with the name change.

Battra: Well that’s just too bad for "Mr. Tuna Breath"!

Iguanoman: Too bad indeed, but tonight he now has a chance to make a true name for himself. In fact, every monster here has a chance to prove their might! As with every Winter Wham, this event does not take place on Earth. Instead, it’s on Earth’s Moon, or more accurately... in the moon! Using some nifty alien technology we found, and combined with the technical knowledge at our labs on Planet X, we have acquired a method to control crystal growth. The result is a massive hallowed-out section deep under the surface of the moon that I call "The Geode"!

Iguanoman: As you can see with this diagram...

Battra: Drawn by the worst artist in the universe.

Iguanoman: the "Geode" is a massive empty sphere lined on all sides by giant crystals. These crystals not only provide for structural support, but also act as a hazard for monsters to avoid running into. Getting through the thick layer of jagged crystal growth would be extremely difficult, and beyond that is solid rock. The result is that this year we won’t have anybody go out-of-bounds (I hope). The crystal-lined artificial cave is filled halfway with lunar soil, making the battle arena appear as if it were a giant dome. The soil is solid enough to stand on but loose enough for monsters to burrow through if they wish. The monsters enter the "stadium" through a large access tunnel leading to the surface of the moon. The tunnel is blocked by a massive, extremely thick, and very strong door. Above this door is the announcer’s booth, providing a good view of the action below for the announcers. It’s a fairly small room only big enough for a single two-person desk, and so obviously Battra had to shrink himself again.

Battra: I kind of like being this small, actually. Less likely to bump into things, such as trees. Those poor trees, greatly saddens me whenever I accidentally knock one over. Of course you humans would never understand!

Iguanoman: Probably not, considering this desk is made from the corpses of fallen trees. Anyways the walls of the "Geode" are lined at regular intervals with lights, providing a bright and shiny working environment, as well as television cameras to get every angle of the action. There is also an intricate ventilation system to keep the void filled with fresh recycled air. Overall it’s a simple environment that is beautiful to beyond and should work well with twenty monsters crammed into it. Now before we get to the main event action, we have a special interview of sorts. We now bring you to Monster Island where our field corespondents, the Cosmos, are standing by.

 with and
Moll and Lora                          Gojira                                 Jet Jaguar

Iguanoman: Hello girls!

Moll and Lora: Hi Iggy!

Iguanoman: Could you explain the scene we see?

Lora: Yes. Before us is one of the many beaches on Monster Island. It’s a beautiful day here, with the sun sparking off the ocean, the puffy clouds in the sky, the wind flowing through your hair, and the salty sea breeze pervading the air. A truly great place to watch two kaiju fight!

Moll: As you can see, Gojira is sparing with Jet Jaguar. They have been fighting for over an hour, constantly battling back and forth to hone their skills.

Lora: Jet Jaguar has asked his old friend to help him train. Gojira is throwing punches left and right at Jet Jaguar, and the agile robot is blocking them!

Moll: An impressive kick by Jet Jaguar knocks Gojira down, but he gets ready back up to continue the fight! Jet Jaguar charges at Gojira slams into his chest with the point of his head!

Lora: He follows that karate chops to the neck! Gojira just parried a blow and nailed Jet Jaguar with a massive head-butt!

Moll: The robot is stunned by the move, and now Gojira is slamming Jet Jaguar’s face into his knee!

Lora: Oh my, Jet Jaguar executed a nice judo throw! Gojira has rolled over to that pile or rocks!

Moll: He is now picking up the rocks and throwing them at Jet Jaguar, who is karate-chopping them in halve in mid-air! He hits a few more with powerful kicks, shattering the boulders into thousands of pieces.

Lora: Jet Jaguar jumps high into the air, does a complex spinning flip, and slams into Gojira with a huge drop kick!

Moll: Gojira is knocked back but remains standing, and before Jet Jaguar can deal more damage, Gojira spins around and knocks the robot away with his tail! As Jet Jaguar is flipping back to a standing position, Gojira opens his mouth and his back spines start to glow!

Lora: Wha! Gojira has hit Jet Jaguar with his thermonuclear beam! The brilliant blue beam has collided into Jet Jaguar, but he blocked it with his arms!

Moll: Jet Jaguar is shoved backwards by the force, creating large grooves in the sandy shore, but he is still standing! Gojira’s most powerful attack has been blocked with apparently no harm to the robot!

Lora: Amazing! Jet Jaguar is much more powerful than ever before!

Moll: Both Gojira and Jet Jaguar have apparently decided to end their contest. They bow in respect, and Jet Jaguar flies off.

Moll and Lora: Fairy, take us to Gojira.

Iguanoman: An interesting fight between the two, lets see what the Cosmos can figure out about it. As they fly across the beach on their little moth, Gojira finds a nice rock to sit on.

Moll and Lora: Konichiwa!

Gojira: Greetings little girls, what brings you here?

Moll: We are here to interview you. Iguanoman thought that WMW would not be complete without an appearance by the great Gojira.

Lora: So Goji, why the sparring match with Jet Jaguar.

Gojira: Well, the big robot has been constantly training for the past three years. I don’t entirely care to understand all that human technology stuff, but something about him being a "learning robot". Apparently he can "reprogram" himself, which somehow means physical as well as mental. He can train himself to be better at what he does, just like us living creatures. I figured I might as well help him.

Moll: Why is he training so much?

Gojira: Oh something about his ego. He’s in this mood where he thinks he’s inferior, and wants to train himself to be more powerful than anyone else. Can’t really blame him, he hasn’t had much luck in WMW, loosing matches all the time and being called a wimp before and after each fight. He decided to improve, and now wants to prove that he truly is a powerful robot.

Lora: So do you think that he could win in his scheduled match against Gigan at Spring Smash.

Moll: Gigan has improved as well, and asked Batora to give him a match at the next event against Jet Jaguar.

Gojira: Really? No wonder why Jet Jaguar is so tense all the time. Still, he’s beaten Gigan before, and I think he could do it again even without my assistance next time.

Lora: Alright, now another question we came to ask is your opinion on the name "Godzilla". Now that legal efforts have renamed your long-time rival Zilla, do you now want to be called Godzilla yourself?

Gojira: Nah, I like being called Gojira. It’s my true name, even if I’m more commonly known as something else. I’ve always preferred it anyway, it just sounds better. I’m pretty sure the kid is just under stress after Cybergodzilla and son retired.

Lora: Yes, they moved to the Bikini Islands after the GTS Zilla and Komodothrax officially wed. It’s nice to see them and his father in peace with each other finally.

Gojira: Zilla and me have patched things up as well, actually. In fact I think he can prove himself even if he’s now the only one of his species still fighting in WMW, especially after a taught him a certain "trick" which I think will come in handy.

Moll and Lora: What is this "trick"?

Gojira: You’ll see. Actually I better make my way to the TV area otherwise I won’t see it either. That little fight with Jet Jaguar took longer then I thought.

Moll: One last question, if you’ll allow. Who do you think will win this year’s Battle Royal?

Gojira: Believe it or not... Mothra.

Moll and Lora: Yes, we think Mothra will win as well! Nice that you see it our way as well!

Gojira: I have to admit she does have a lot of useful abilities at hand. There’s very few things that she can’t do. Besides, I bet Battra 50 clams that Mothra would win.

Moll: Now by clams you mean money, right?

Gojira: No... clams. Big, giant, clams. Hard to find, very tasty.

Moll: Oh. Well that’s all the time we have for this interview.

Lora: Nice talking with you Goji!

Gojira: Nice talking with you girls as well. See ya latter!

Moll and Lora: Sayonara!

Moll: Back to you Iggy!

Lora: We’ll be there soon to cheer on Mothra!

Iguanoman: Ok then. Well there goes another interview. Is it just me or does Gojira seem extra-nice today. Must be relaxed from his long vacation.

Battra: Ha, does he really think that the human-loving Mothra could win? Oh I can just taste those clams now, those deliciously wonderful clams! Gojira had better start collecting those clams now, cause Mothra doesn’t stand a chance! In fact if Gojira was here he wouldn’t stand a chance either! Look at how pathetic he has become! Even that stupid robot is stronger than him now!

Iguanoman: Well I wouldn’t say that. Like with the other kaiju enhanced by the "Final Wars" directive, he’s more powerful than he ever was. He’s fast, agile, and can still annihilate things with his thermonuclear breath. As for Jet Jaguar, well I’m not sure why he’s so powerful now. I guess we will see in a couple of months. But first, we have this show we are currently doing. We will take a short commercial break, and afterwards will start our main attraction.

Battra: Where did you dig up that sponsor!?

Iguanoman: Hey, we’re desperate for money, remember?

Battra: Argh, whatever, can we get onto the fight already?

Iguanoman: Yeah, we’re finally to the main event! Well, the only event really, the tournament to decide which of these twenty monsters is the strongest of them all. Most of these monsters need no introduction really, and they have been brought into the "Geode", waiting in a circular pattern for the bell to ring. They are all eyeing their opponents, sizing each other up, and getting mentally prepped for the carnage that will soon ensue. Best not to keep them waiting, so here we go! For those in attendance and those watching at home... ladies, gentleman, and kaiju fans... LET’S GET READY TOCRUMBLE!!!

Anguirus                   King Caesar                   Ebirah                      Gigan                   Hedorah

Kamacuras                Kumonga                    Manda                Kaiser Ghidorah            Mothra

Rodan                           Zilla                       King Kong                  Gorgo                  T-Rexx

Yongary                     Guilala                     Pulgasari                   Reptilicus                Gyaos

Iguanoman: The bell rings and massive chaos ensues! Monsters are slamming into each other, beam weapons fill the air, bodies are flailing around all over the place! Those monsters that can fly do so, and a massive aerial battle erupts! As the airborne monsters clash and collide, blasting and smashing, the monsters below them do the same. All forms of strategy goes out the window as most monsters simply attack whomever is next to them! After the initial chaos, certain monsters appear to be pairing up. Ghidorah and Gigan are standing back-to-back, blasting anything that comes near them with rays and cluster lasers, respectively. Anguirus and Rodan are double-teaming Ebirah, with Anguirus attacking from below and Rodan attacking from above! Kamacuras and Kumonga have both hopped onto King Caesar, tearing into his back with their sharp limbs!

Battra: What’s with all this goody-goody friendship? It’s suppose to be every kaiju for themselves!

Iguanoman: I guess after they’re done with their enemies then they’ll turn on their friends. Like for instance King Kong and Gorgo, who worked together to KO T-Rexx, and now they’re beating on each other! Mothra and Gyaos are clashing in mid-air, trying to smack and claw each other in an attempt to knock their opponent down! Gyaos flies away, turns around, and unleashes her sonic beam! The powerful cutting beam slams into Mothra, but she got her shield up in time, causing the beam to collide with the ceiling instead! Mothra then points her underside towards Gyaos and fires away with a powerful thorax beam, causing Gyaos to go crashing to the ground! Meanwhile, the deflected sonic beam loosened up one of the giant crystals, causing it to fall downwards! Gorgo and King Kong were wrestling with each other at the time, and Kong grabbed Gorgo and used her as a living shield, causing the heavy hunk of mineral to smack her in the head! Kong then follows up by grabbing the crystal and starts to bash Gorgo repeatedly with it! After a few times Gorgo grabs onto Kong’s arm, grabs his neck with her other arm, and chokeslams him to the ground! Kong immediately gets up and they start punching away again! Manda and Reptlicus have been intertwined in a complex struggle since the match begun. Both have their long coiled bodies wrapped around each other, wrestling around in an attempt to strangle themselves! Manda has bit down on Reptilicus hard, but his tough skin prevents her from causing any real damage. Reptilicus seizes the moment and pukes up his acid, covering her face! Manda lets go and roars in pain as her skin smokes and sizzles! Repticlicus then clamps down on her neck and starts strangler her to death! Looks like Manda is going to be the first one out!

Battra: Actually that pile of scrap in the corner was the first one out.

Iguanoman: Oh yeah, I can see on the highlight real that Pulgasari unfortunately selected Hedorah as his first opponent. Being made out of metal isn’t very useful against a monster that corrodes it on touch. After covering poor Pulgasari in sludge and nearly dissolving him, Hedorah transformed to his flying form and took to the air. Down below we have an unofficial tag-team match between Rodan and Anguirus versus Kamacuras and Kumonga! The giant bugs attacked the fire monster duo after Ebirah ran away. Rodan starts smacking the giant spider around with his wings, and then grabs onto him with his talons. Meanwhile Anguirus is being clawed up by the giant mantis, but a few smacks with his heavy paws and Kamacuras backs away. Rodan is flying up while hanging onto Kumonga, and then roars something to Anguirus. Surprisingly Anguirus heard that over all the racket in the background, and runs towards Rodan. He hops a bit, curls up, bounces off the ground, and goes careening through the air as a spiky spinning ball of doom! Rodan drops Kumonga and Anguirus slams into the big spider in mid-air, causing green blood to splatter everywhere as his exoskeleton is cracked open! They crash into the crystal-lined wall, and Kumonga is squashed between that and Anguirus! Kamacuras has taken to the air and landed onto Rodan’s back, clawing away like crazy as Rodan cries in pain! To get him off, Rodan does a spin of sorts, and the centrifugal force pulls the giant bug off. Rodan then flies around and tries to find the fallen Kamacuras but can’t see them. I guess that Kamacuras has used his camouflage ability to blend into the crystal formations near the side. This doesn’t fool Gigan, though; I guess he’s hooked up with some high-tech vision because he just blasted Kamacuras with a cluster laser! All those fireworks exploding around him unconceals Kamacuras, providing Rodan a chance to finish him off with an Uranium Heat Beam! The giant mantis is lit on fire, runs around screaming for a bit, and then falls down dead.

Battra: So much for those sorry excuses for insects!

Iguanoman: Yep. Rodan then flies off to find Ebirah again, with Anguirus following him like some sort of faithful pet. Mothra has knocked Gyaos down a second time with her paralyzing powder, sending the bat-like creature into a collision course with Guilala! Gyaos bounces off as if she just smacked into solid rock, and only succeeds in getting Guilala’s attention! The giant space chicken thingy latches his claw-tipped tail onto Gyaos’s neck, and starts to smack her around with his fists! Gyaos struggles to get free, but only succeed after being violently thrown to the ground! She lets loose with her sonic cutting beam, and it scores across Guillala’s chest, but there is apparently no effect! She does it again, but Guilala actually seems to be enjoying it! Amazing, I have never seen that sonic beam have so little effect; usually it slices the other guy in halve! Instead Guilala seems to have absorbed the beam! Seeing as her main weapon is useless, Gyaos decides to make a run for it! Guilala sends out a few fireballs, which of course ended up blowing poor Gyaos to smithereens. Mothra and Hedorah are currently battling it our in a massive aerial display, with beams being sent out from both kaiju! It’s the classic clash between a guardian of the planet and a destroyer of the planet!

Battra: Argh, I never though I would be rooting for Mothra! I hope she kills that vile thing, at the cost of her life of course.

Iguanoman: That might happen, actually, because Hedorah just sent out some sludge balls, covering Mothra in burning toxic waste! She cries out in pain as more sludge impacts her body, followed by another eye-laser and close pass with emitted smog! She charges her energy around her, trying to blast the sludge off, but to no effect. Instead she decides to boost herself forward at great speed, going through Hedorah with a charged wing-tackle! Hedorah falls to the ground in two pieces, but soon reforms into one big standing creature. Suddenly Mothra disintegrates into thousands of smaller versions of herself! The energized "mini-mothras" swarm around Hedorah, blasting every square meter of the smog monster with antenna-beams! Slowly but surely, Hedorah is blasted into smaller pieces and dried out, and finally turns to dust. Mothra reforms into one big moth again, and although she found victory against Hedorah, I think it took a lot out of her. Meanwhile, Reptilicus managed to wrap himself around Yongary’s throat after casing a few acid burns. Yongary is struggling to get the tough snake-like dragon off, dancing around wildly in his vain attempts. Finally he decides to use his last breath to send forth a stream of fire, burning into Reptlicus and causing him to let go due to the pain! After catching his breath, Yongary blasts Reptilicus with his horn-laser, slicing Reptilicus in halve! He does it a few more times, but all the pieces of Reptlicus are still wiggling around! To make sure Reptilicus is dead for good, Yongary piles the chunks together and lights himself a bonfire!

Battra: Roasted reptile anyone?

Iguanoman: Are you hungry or something? Besides I thought you moths were vegetarians!

Battra: Actually I get all the energy I need from manna, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying the consumption of life-force directly, from time to time. Such as clams, I like clams, and I will be feasting on them soon because Gigan will soon defeat Mothra once and for all!

Iguanoman: Actually they look evenly matched this time. The agile Mothra is avoiding Gigan’s chainsaw-arm attacks while blasting away at him with beams off all sorts. Gigan tries to retaliate with a beam of his own, but this time when it connects with Mothra’s powder scales it dissipates instead of exploding. You see, we gave Mothra the ability to use any form of powder she wishes. Poison, paralyzing, energy collecting, exploding, it’s all up to her which she uses. At this point she’s using her "heisei" powder by flying in close and unleashing green lightning bolts, causing Gigan to fall down and smack against the ground. That’s odd, Ghidorah isn’t helping him, instead he’s just kind of standing there. Now Rodan, Anguirus, and King Caesar have been triple-teaming Ebirah for quite some time, and the giant lobster seems to be wavering. He runs up and tackles Caesar onto his back in an attempt to get free, but a powerful upwards kick with both feet send Ebirah into the air! He’s smacked around by Rodan a few times, and then falls down towards Anguirus, who smacks him away with a thrust from his spiky back! Caesar intercepts Ebirah with a jump kick, sending Ebirah back to Anguirus, and starting up a screwy version of tennis. Eventually Anguirus misses Ebirah once, and takes the opportunity to attempt to finish the big lobster off. However, Ebirah is not out yet, and jabs his sharp claw through Anguirus’s hand! Anguirus roars in pain, but turns the tables by breaking that part of the claw off, causing Ebirah to roar in pain instead! Anguirus pulls the sharp hunk of claw out of his hand, but then feels a sharp tug on his tail. King Kong, who has apparently decided fighting Gorgo all night was pointless, has came to pick Anguirus up by his tail and use him as a sort of giant flail to beat Ebirah with! He slams Anguirus’s back repeatedly into Ebirah, pulverizing the sea monster into a big smear. Kong then chucks Anguirus at King Caesar, but Caesar kicks Anguirus back. Kong dodges, beats his chest with his fists, lets out a mighty roar of challenge, and charges Caesar! That battle of the "kings" commences as both monsters punch and kick and bite and all that good stuff. Meanwhile, Guilala has decided to turn into his "giant energy ball form", flying around the cave and raining down energetic annihilation wherever he goes! He injures Gigan, Anguirus, and Rodan as he circles around, and "wakes up" Ghidorah as he blasts by him. The giant energy ball flies around for another pass but collides with Yongary. Yongary holds onto the glowing sphere and it appears as if he’s absorbing the power right out of it!

Battra: Well, he is an "energy-sucker", but then again so is Guilala. Which means we have a stalemate. See I told you not to book these two together! You and your overrides are ruining my genius vision!

Iguanoman: As much as it pains me, I have to agree. Guilala sends out a fire ball, but it is absorbed by Yongary who sends out a stream of fire which is absorbed by Guilala who sends out more fire balls which are then absorbed by Yongary who sends out a laser beam which is absorbed by Guilala and well you get the point. Every once in a while they start to slap each other around but with those tough hides they are causing little or no damage. Well I guess it gives us time to focus on Gigan and Mothra. Gigan is standing on the ground in the middle of the "Geode", challenging Mothra to come over. Mothra is no fool though, so keeps her distance by blasting away with her beams. Then Gigan sends out a pair of those nifty new circular saws, but Mothra releases her powder to confuse their tracking and dodges. She dodges again as they boomerang back towards Gigan. This time, Gigan is ready, and jumps. The spinning disks pass under him, and after they are gone he digs his chainsaw arms into the ground and grinds forward towards Mothra. The big moth is ready for him though as she flaps her wings and releases her poising powder. Gigan is slowly harmed by the powder but presses onwards, and at just before he reaches Mothra, he ducks. The homing circular saws have came around and followed Gigan, but aren’t agile enough to follow him all the way. Instead they go forward and slash right into Mothra! Mothra screeches in pain and collapses to the ground with two gaping wounds oozing blood. The relentless Gigan follows up by jumping on Mothra and hacking away with his chainsaw attachments! Mothra expels a burst of green energy, knocking Gigan off of her, but has a hard time flying away with her shattered wings. She decides to break up into thousands of min-mothra’s again, and the swarm heads strait for Gigan! With one charged blast of his cluster eye-laser, the entire swarm is wiped out. The massive display of fireworks ends with reformed flaming chunks of Mothra scattering across the dirt. Gigan roars in victory in finally defeating his foe!

Battra: Ha, I knew Mothra wouldn’t win! You better pay up Gojira, for tonight I dine on clam chowder!

Iguanoman: Yeah, I guess so. Well after that Gorgo decided to end the stalemate with Guilala and Yongary by bashing their heads together. After those two collapse to the ground, Gorgo starts to look around. She sees Anguirus and Rodan sitting around leaning up against the crystal wall, and she also sees Kong and Caesar still beating the snot out of each other. She also sees a bunch of dead bodies, but still, it seems as if she senses something amiss. Meanwhile Ghidorah has walked passed Gigan, congratulated him along the way, and made his way to the fallen Guilala. Ghidorah clamps down on the giant space creature with the mouths of his three heads, lifts Guilala up, and begins to do something. What’s this? He’s draining the energy right out of Guilala! Wait a sec... now Guilala is draining the life force out of Ghidorah! It’s a massive tug-of-war with each side trying to suck the energy out of the other! Yongary apparently recovered from his concussion, and now he’s grabbed onto Guilala to suck energy as well! Between the two absorbing kaiju, Guilala eventually looses the battle and has the energy drained from him! Guilala gets smaller and smaller, and eventually becomes nothing more then a tiny cosmic spore. Apparently satisfied with his "meal", Yongary just kind of stands there, and subsequently is blasted by a trio of gravity rays from Ghidorah! However, the rays just get absorbed, and Yongary retaliates with a blast of fire! Burned by the flames, Ghidorah flinches backwards and flaps his wings, sending Yongary tumbling away. After rolling for a while he manages to stand up, and then suddenly Gorgo grabs him from behind, pulls his arms backwards, and bites down on his neck! Ladies and gentleman, this is Gorgo’s finishing move she invented here at WMW, and is currently using it to block the flow of blood from Yongary’s brain. The big dinosaur-like creature slowly succumbs due to lack of oxygen and passes out.

Battra: And another one is eliminated! So how many more do we have to go with this stupid match?

Iguanoman: Well I count seven... wait... eight now. T-Rexx has just gotten up! Having been knocked out by Gorgo and Kong early on, he finally got out of his coma! And whoo-boy does he look mad! He lets loose a might roar, and stairs right at Kong! The dinosaur has been engaged! He charges forward, kicking up a cloud of dirt with each powerful step, and licks his teeth in preparation for the kill! Kong stands there, ready to meet the charge, but decides to put King Caesar between them. Poor Caesar tries the best he can, punching and kicking and trying to dodge T-Rexx’s huge jaws, but eventually one unlucky mistake leads to his demise. Caesar looks down at the bloody stump that use to hold his arm, and then looks at Rexx holding his detached arm in his mouth. The giant Tyrannosaurus Rex doesn’t let him collapse in pain, instead he shoves him over with his foot and latches onto Caesar with his carnivorous mouth. Pretty soon Rexx start’s shaking Caesar like a dog with a rabbit, shredding his flesh and then slaming him to the ground to deliver the killing bite with a sickening crunch. T-Rexx then stands over his victim and roars, but soon snaps his sight towards Kong again. Kong stands there defiantly, this time ready to ounce again show that he is the master dinosaur wrestler. T-Rexx charges forward, but then suddenly trips and falls on his chin. The ground underneath him erupts, sending a shower of dirt out like a massive geyser Bursting out of the ground is... Zilla! That sneaky lizard tunneled underground at the start of the match without anyone noticing! T-Rexx is back up, and both he and Zilla roar at each other in challenge! They charge fourth, and Zilla smacks T-Rexx underneath the jaw with a massive uppercut! He then turns around to slap him in the knees with a thunderous tail-whip! T-Rexx managed to get back up to start snapping at Zilla again, but Zilla jumps over him, backs up fast, and jabs Rexx in the back with his spikes! The T-Rexx’s tail suddenly whips up and knocks Zilla down and forwards, but he quickly flips back to a standing position. T-Rexx roars in challenge again, and Zilla appears to be doing the same! What the heck? A fire-like stream of nuclear energy just shot out of Zilla’s mouth! The brilliant blue blast just collided with T-Rexx and knocked him backwards!

Battra: Since when did that stupid lizard have thermonuclear breath!?

Iguanoman: I’m guessing that was the "trick" that Gojira taught him. A very handy trick to have indeed. It makes sense that he would eventually learn it, after all we cloned him using the DNA from what we now call Cybergodzilla, who had the same sort of beam himself. Well Zilla is taking advantage of this new ability and blasted T-Rexx again. Afterwards he jumped onto the tyrannosaurus’s chest, causing the distinctive crack of ribs breaking, and followed up with a bite to the neck. One disgusting ripping action latter, and T-Rexx’s throat has been torn out!

Battra: And Kong does not look happy about Zilla stealing his "kill".

Iguanoman: He sure don’t. He roars in challenge and charges at Zilla. The giant lizard tries to tail-whip Kong, but the giant ape jumps right over it and grabs onto Zilla’s back! He has him in a half-nelson, but is shoved off when Zilla tunnels back underground! Not wanting to have Zilla do the cheap move again, he grabs onto Zilla’s back leg and drags him out! Kong immediately puts him into a German Suplex, followed by a knee drop. He picks Zilla up, only to slam him back down with a DDT. Zilla retaliates by tail-whipping Kong’s legs out from under him, and claws his back as he uses Kong as a hold to stand himself back up. Kong rolls backwards and then rears back to a standing position, charges Zilla, and clotheslines him! Kong then shoves Zilla’s head between his legs, lifts Zilla up, and slams him back down with a powerbomb! Kong then drops down for the pin... 1... 2... 3! And the winner is... wait a minute there’s no pins in this match! Kong realizes this too late as Zilla slashes him across the face with his claws! Instead of backing away in pain, Kong punches Zilla upside the head, makes his way to the other side of Zilla, and puts him in a Figure Four Leg Lock! Zilla roars in frustration thanks to the pain in his legs, and tries desperately to power out of the submission hold. He then remembers his new power, and blasts Kong with his thermonuclear breath! This allows Zilla to roll over, reversing the hold and causing Kong to be the one in a submission move! Kong managed to get out of it, stands up, and tries to plan his next attack. Unfortunately for him Zilla unleashes another super-heated blast of nuclear energy, and this time it lights Kong’s hair on fire! The gorilla king obviously is in great pain as he runs around and tries to pat the flames out. Eventually he decides to stop, drop, and roll. Unfortunately he is quite winded from the battle, and takes the time to lay there and rest.

Battra: What amazes me is that through all of this, the other kaiju are just standing around and watching it.

Iguanoman: I guess they decided to sit back and take out the winner. Apparently Gigan wants to do the task, for he made his distinctive screeching sound towards Zilla, as if challenging him to a duel or something. Zilla nods his head in apparent agreement, and charges towards Gigan. The cyborg does the same, and both monsters are running at top speed towards each other. Before reaching the collision point, both jump into the air simultaneously! Zilla blasts Gigan with nuclear fire as they hurl towards each other, and immediately afterwards they collide! Gigan slams into the dirt and clutches his side in pain, and Zilla continues his trajectory and lands feet first, almost as if he never actually collided at all. Gigan struggles to get himself up, and then looks towards the figure of Zilla, who is just standing there staring in the opposite direction. Soon it becomes evident why, as blood starts to trickle out of his neck. The body of Zilla collapses to the ground, and his head rolls away to the side, detached from his body.

Battra: Looks like ZINO just bit the dust!

Iguanoman: Yeah, Gigan proves again that those new duel-chainsaws come in handy. Now what’s this? Gorgo is motioning Kong to get up. Apparently she wants to continue their fight but doesn’t want to kick an ape while he’s down. Weary as he may be, Kong complies, and slams his body into Gorgo with a cross-body block. They then duke it out for a while, looking more like a boxing match than anything else, and a massive right hook sends Kong spinning! Gorgo grabs onto his arms from behind and bites his windpipe, displaying her "Union Jack" finishing move once again! Wait a second... Kong is powering out of it! He’s pulling his arms upwards with all his might, and manages to flip Gorgo over his head! Gorgo is still attached to his neck, but now Gorgo has her back to Kong, who proceeds to grip her jaws with his strong hands to pry her teeth away from his flesh! He eventually succeeds, and puts Gorgo into a sleeper-hold! Gorgo struggles as hard as she can, but Kong’s extreme strength keeps her from getting free! If this were a regular choke-hold, we’d be here all night cause Gorgo can hold her breath for days, but Kong managed to constrict her juguler veins, cutting off oxygen to her brain. It takes a few minutes, but Gorgo eventually passes out.

Battra: And Anguilus immediately stabs Kong in the back!

Iguanoman: Well, that wasn’t his intention. For those who don’t know, Ghidorah reacquired his ability to lift objects with his gravity rays. He now has a balled-up Anguirus in his wavy yellow gravitational clutches, and is repeatedly slamming Kong over and over again with him. Caught between the hard, sharp, jagged crystal formations on the walls and the hard, sharp, jagged carapace of Anguirus is not fun. Rodan of course wants to help his buddy Anguirus, but Gigan is keeping him sufficiently distracted. After repeated slams, Kong eventually falls over, and a few more slams to the head latter causes his skull to crush flat. Anguirus is thrown towards Rodan, but the agile pterodactyl dodges, blasts Ghidorah with an Uranium beam, causing the three headed dragon to stop his gravity beam assault and drop Anguirus.

Battra: Behold you simple-minded humans at tonight’s main event, a tag-team match between "Evil Space" and the "Fire Monsters"! Do I know how to book ‘em or what?

Iguanoman: What. Anyways, Rodan is taking on Ghidorah and Anguirus is defending himself against Gigan. Rodan is flying in circles around Ghidorah, causing sonic booms to rip around his form! Anguirus is slamming hard into Gigan’s knees, and Gigan is trying to hit a soft spot with his chainsaws. Ghidorah has taken to the air, flying around in massive dog-fight in the upper part of this crystal cavern. Ghidorah is sending out rays, Rodan is sending out beams, and inevitably a few slam into the combatants below. Taking a chance with the distraction opportunity he is given, Anguirus rears up and grabs the arms below Gigan’s chainsaws with his hands. Putting one of the duel chainsaws into another, the gears grind a nasty sound as the two fast-moving bladed chains tear into each other. After a while, one of the chains snaps and flies out, smacking Gigan in the eye! Wow, Gigan just poked his own eye out in an unfortunate hardware accident! This causes a reaction in the laser mechanism which explodes and causes him to collapses from the pain in his face! Anguirus then hops onto Gigan and starts to tear into him, slamming Gigan with the palms of his hands and biting him in the neck! Unfortunately he’s sitting on Gigan’s (working) chest chainsaw, and Anguirus is force to retreat before more serious injuries occur. Gigan stands up, blind but still active, and Anguirus tries to sneak behind him. It’s a little tough to sneak when you weigh 60,000 tons, and due to this Gigan gets a lucky shot in with his spike-tipped tail, jabbing into Anguirus’s chest! With a full body swing he managed to chuck Anguirus away. Rodan takes this opportunity to grab his weapon/partner, and head towards Ghidorah. Rodan managed to avoid the oncoming onslaught of gravity rays and drop Anguirus onto Ghidorah’s heads. While those two are fighting with each other, Rodan starts to circle around to pick up speed. Once he broke the sound barrier, he heads towards the blinded Gigan. He never knew what hit him. Knocked on his face by the giant pterosaur, Gigan barely managed to stay conscious. Rodan decides to end Gigan’s chances by blasting the roof of the cave with his Uranium Beam, causing a shower of giant crystals to rain down on Gigan. Buried in tons of jagged crystals will make you want to end your pain, and Gigan does just that by passing out. As Rodan now gives his attention to Ghidorah, he realizes that he is to late to help is friend in the final battle. Anguirus had managed to give Ghidorah quite a lot of damage, with numerous wounds oozing all over his body. He wanted to continue the onslaught by biting onto Ghidorah’s neck but, as he never figured out, a creature with three throats can’t be suffocated. By grabbing onto one shoulder with his left head, another shoulder with his right head, and combined with a sharp twist, Ghidorah managed to snap Anguirus’s neck.

Battra: And then there were two!

Iguanoman: Rodan is now out to avenge his fallen brethren! He roars a might challenge, jumps up, and flies strain at Ghidorah. Ghidorah is content with just standing there, knowing that Rodan is the master of the air, and being reminded at every moment by it. Rodan flies around Ghidorah, sending blast after blast of thermonuclear energy into the gold dragon. Massive chunks of scales and flesh fly off with each blast, but Ghidorah remains steady. Eventually Rodan gets in close, slamming Ghidorah’s heads around with massive pecks, bashing him in the chest with his huge wings, and tearing into him with his sharp talons. Ghidorah is receiving the beating of his life, but still, he just stands there. Oozing blood from hundreds of grievous wounds, scolded on many parts by third-degree burns, having his wings torn into shreds, and multiple concussions to each of his heads still do not stop Ghidorah. Finally, after much pain and suffering, Ghidorah got the chance he was waiting for. Exhausted from beating on his enemy, Rodan finally slowed down a little, and that split-second opportunity was all Ghidorah needed. Latching out with his gravity rays, Ghidorah covered Rodan with his jagged energy beams. Using his control over gravity itself, he maneuvered Rodan so that his beak was facing away, brought him in closer, and grabbed onto his body with his three heads and their sharp teeth. One head went for the neck. the other grabbed onto a wing, and the third secured his legs. With his new-found ability to drain the life-force out of his victims, Ghidorah sucks the energy out of Rodan like some sort of vampire. Slowly but surely, Rodan’s vast store of energy was drained, and he gave his last breath. Throwing Rodan away like a used beverage container, Ghidorah cackled in victory with his three heads, surveying the scene before him. Twenty monsters went in, and now only one is still standing. The winner: Kaiser Ghidorah!

Battra: Ha, I knew he’d win. But of course I would have won if I were done there.

Iguanoman: Yeah, right, somehow I doubt it. That was a rather impressive display, and to honor that Ghidorah is now the 2006 holder of the "Monster of Monsters" Trophy! He has proven to be one of the best, and a shiny hunk of gold-plated space titanium is his proof! We will follow up his win with an interview, but first we have to clean the place up. While we are doing that, we will have another commercial break.

Iguanoman: As you can tell from that little promo, in a couple of months we will have another seasonal event! I can’t say exactly when it will air, but it will be sometime in what us North-Americans call "Spring" under the calendar method. Now it won’t take place on Fight Island, but somewhere else, which I’ll leave as a surprise. This year we have a number of exiting matches lined up. Care to get your face out of that soup bowl and explain what they are Mr. Commissioner?

Battra: *much**smack**slurp*... oh, yeah, sure. Now over the years there has been three "Mechagojiras". The main one we’ve seen at WMW was that pathetic human-built one, and we’ve also had that sorry excuse for alien technology as well. The third one came to life a few years ago, when what used to the original Gojira was brutally deformed and reanimated by uncaring excuses for humanity. Apparently he came to terms with his new life, and decided to crawl out of the sea and live a happier existence on Monster Island. Being bored like we all are, he now wants to fight in WMW. So he’ll fight with the other two Mechagojiras in a triangle match!

Iguanoman: Which is in honor of the first match we’ve ever had here at WMW, between Mechagodzilla and the UN Mechagodzilla. At Spring Smash we will have a rematch with Kiryu thrown into the mix!

Battra: The next match I concocted thanks to that stupid Zilla thing, who has been begging me for a chance to prove himself. Well he asked for a challenge and I am happy to oblige. After a trip to the arctic I found a certain "monster" that I do believe is the second-most powerful around (after me of course). At our next show, Zilla will face The Blob!

Iguanoman: That unstoppable gelatinous mass?! I’m starting to feel sorry for Zilla already. Still, if there was anything to prove himself with, that would be it.

Battra: Kong has declared for years that he is the master at killing dinosaurs, and those freaks of nature that we call the "Terrible Lizards" have requested to tear Kong limb-for-limb for his arrogance. If Kong really is so powerful, then lets seen him survive a combined assault of six dinosaurs!

Iguanoman: King Kong vs. T-Rexx, Ultraraptor, Brontosaurus, Trike, Stego, and Terrordactyl in a simultaneous 1 on 6 handicap match! He’s handled plenty of dinosaurs on his home island before, but this will definitely be quite the challenge considering the genetic enhancements that faction has.

Battra: Gigan requested a rematch with Jet Jaguar, and that goofy robot foolishly agreed to it. I know he’s beaten Gigan before, but this time he stands no chance, no matter how much he "trained". After that, we have Yongary vs. Yonggary, for some reason.

Iguanoman: I’ve been wanting to do that match for years. The classic showdown of original vs. remake.

Battra: Whatever that means. Now the main event is also another one of your "requests", but I have to admit that it should be quite entertaining. At the first Spring Smash, there was a particular event called "Battle Games", a peculiar match set-up pitting the mWo against some WMW losers. Even though we lost, thanks to the betrayal of my so-called "teammates", I still believe the set-up was good. Hence the format will be brought back and this time we will pit Toho vs. Daiei!

Iguanoman: Yep, nine members branded as Toho going up against nine monsters representing Daiei in a massive war! It starts out with 1 vs. 1, but every minute we add a new monster into the mix! This year we shake things up even more by making the order completely random.

Battra: Fighting for my team will be Gojira, Anguilus, Rodan, Mothra, Varan, Kaiser Ghidorah, Baragon, Gorosaurus, and introducing a new member of WMW, Gezora. Fighting for the other side shall be our newly-completed set of Gamera, Gyaos, Legion, Iris, Barugon, Viras, Guiron, Jiger, and Zigra.

Iguanoman: Hopeful we will have a great show that will air in a couple of months! Now we... well there appears that another moth has entered the announcer booth. The Cosmos have decided to join us. Hello again!

Moll and Lora: Hi again Iggy!

Moll: We’re here in case the translators go down again.

Iguanoman: So are you upset that Mothra lost?

Lora: We don’t mind. She did her best.

Iguanoman: Ok, I’m getting the signal that Ghidorah is ready for his post-match interview.

 
Kaiser Ghidorah, Monster of Monsters

Iguanoman: Well Ghidorah, how does it feel to win the "Monster of Monsters" trophy?

Ghidorah: Well it’s finally great to receive some recognition of the power I possess. Throughout my existence I haven’t had much luck in the battlefield, especially with Gojira. I plan on one day defeating him in mortal combat, but for now it’s good to at least prove that I am his equal.

Iguanoman: Well those new abilities seem to have helped, especially the one where you can lift things with your gravity rays.

Ghidorah: Actually, I was able to do it before, back in the 70’s. I used it on one of my last attacks on Earth, the one where that silly Zone Fighter kid somehow managed to defeat me.

Iguanoman: Oh yes, forgot about that. So did you believe from the beginning that you would win this event?

Ghidorah: Yes. I have learned much from my previous attempts to win this trophy, and the biggest lesson was one of efficiency. Most kaiju spend their time trying to settle old scores, wasting their energy in fighting. I learned to control my anger, to observe the battle from afar and let the others do the work for me.

Iguanoman: I’ve noticed that in today’s match. You only fought when necessary.

Ghidorah: That’s right, but still I knew that I would eventually fight myself. However, the moment I learned that Guilala was in the match, I became positive that I would win. I have acquired the ability to drain a being’s energy, and Guilala is a creature made almost entirely of pure energy. It provided a good "meal" for me, and the energy I gained came in handy for defeating Anguirus and Rodan.

Battra: Amazing how overconfident you are, considering that one good shot from Gyaos or Yongary and your heads would be sliced off.

Ghidorah: That is a risk we all took, but I knew that luck was on my side.

Gigan: No, I was on your side!

Iguanoman: It appears that Gigan has flown into the "Geode" to join the interview.

Gigan: I’m all fixed now, so I came down to congratulate you on your victory. Good work Ghidra!

Ghidorah: And good work yourself as well. Nice to see you finally had your revenge on Mothra.

Iguanoman: I see that you both are happy about the outcome today.

Gigan: Yep, we made an agreement beforehand to work together so that one of us would win. However, I knew that Ghidorah here was the more deserving one, so I always knew I wouldn’t win. Besides, I never liked to sit around and wait, I gotta be out there killing things or I’ll go crazy.

Battra: Crazier, you mean.

Gigan: Yeah, that’s what I meant. So yeah, Ghidra and I have decided to work together again. In fact, if WMW were to start up again, we’d like to get our Tag-Team titles back.

Iguanoman: Alright, if we ever get back on track, you’ll have the first title shot. Now one last question to Ghidorah before we wrap up this show. What do you think of your name change?

Ghidorah: It’s not bad, I think I’ll keep it. A kaiser is a higher rank than a king, and besides, I do have the "kaiser" energy in me now, so it makes sense.

Iguanoman: Alright, well thanks for taking the time for an interview, and once again congratulations on your win.

Ghidorah: Of course.

Iguanoman: ... well there we have it, the new Trophy holder and his apparent tag-team partner fly out through the access tunnel. With them gone, the place cleaned up, the Beta-16 having fixed the crystals, and the monsters are brought back to life and safely transported back to Monster Island, I think that’ll be it for Winter Wham. For everyone here at WMW, good bye and good night.

Moll and Lora: Sayonara!

Battra: And good riddance!

Iguanoman: You know, that isn’t a very nice thing to say. What happens if this is our last show? Do you want us to end on a bad note?

Battra: You say that as if I should care.

Iguanoman: Ug, I had just about enough of you and your stupid comments! If I could fire you I would!

Battra: Ha, you can’t get rid of me, I’m Batora! And I’ve had just about enough of you and your stupid politics!

Iguanoman: *bonk* Ouch! Did you just throw a microphone at me? Oh now that does it!

Battra: *crunch* You hit me! You actually hit me! Why I oughta...

Moll: With that, Batora sends out his prism beams! The purple rays slam into Iggy and knock him down!

Lora: His shirt has smoking holes in it, and he gets up in a raging fury! He grabs his chair and throws it at Batora!

Moll: Iggy then hops onto the desk and starts swing his fists and kicking with his feet, but the agile Batora dodges his attacks and flies around him! Batora releases his paralyzing powder scales, sending out purple lightning-bolts to stun Iggy!

Lora: Poor Iggy can barely move! Wait, he somehow summoned up the strength to head-butt Batora! He is sent careening away, but regains control and flies at Iggy at great speed!

Moll: Batora slams hard into Iggy’s chest, causing Iggy to fall off the desk and lands hard on his back, knocking the wind out of him! He rolls around in pain trying to catch his breath, but the relentless Batora sends more beams down onto him!

Lora: Oh poor Iggy! Get up!

Moll: Iggy crawled over to the trashcan, picked it up, and swung it at Batora! It smacks against the moth with a loud clang, and Iggy smacks Batora with it again!

Lora: Batora falls and crash-lands on the desk! Iggy takes the trashcan and places it over Batora, trapping him inside! Way to go Iggy!

Iguanoman: I have you now you annoying insect! Now I... uh-oh.

Lora: Oh my, the trashcan is starting to bulge outwards! Batora is increasing in size!

Moll: The trashcan splits open as Batora continues to grow! Iggy retreats to the emergency elevator as the form of Batora fills the room! Oh no, he’s going to destroy the whole place!

Moll and Lora: Fairy, get us out of here!

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