Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Disclaimer: I don’t own "fandom". I just borrowed some of the characters. Rated: NC-17

Ulterior Motives

Chapter 14

Betaed by Skippyscatt and kitty-poker1

~ * ~

Spike finally called a halt to the court session. He didn’t expect or get any argument.

Xander was grateful for the hand Spike tucked under his elbow. He didn’t think he was going to get to his feet without it.

"Hang in there, pet. We’ll be in the back hall in a mo’."

When they entered the hall, Spike just scooped Xander up and flipped him over one shoulder. He headed for their quarters at a fast walk, trying to keep his stride as smooth as possible. Xander just relaxed and let his head hang. He wanted in their quarters and out of the harness as soon as possible. The stiff black leather was digging into some seriously tender spots.

Spike kept up a constant flow of small talk as he walked. "You did so good, pet. I’m really proud of ya. Ya smelled of fear once, when that demon tried ta touch ya. Knew I wouldn’t let him, didn’t ya? No one touches what’s mine. Now, we’re almost home. Don’t wriggle like that."

Xander subsided as he realized that they were only in the living room and he wasn’t going to be put down until they were in the bathroom or he missed his guess. He was right. Spike didn’t put him down until they were in the middle of the bathroom.

Spike steadied Xander then started stripping the harness off him. Xander let out a sigh of relief when Spike removed the collar. It had an odd length between the holes, or Xander had a thick neck. Anyway, it was either too tight or too loose, and they’d decided on too tight for various reasons.

When Spike saw the marks the collar had made, he snarled softly. "Collar was too tight. And this ..." he plucked at the chest harness, "is way too stiff. Should have worked it."

Xander just groaned in relief as Spike stripped off the last of the harness except for the chastity belt. That was going to take a little more care.

Spike unbuckled the belt and gently pulled the leather away from Xander’s skin; he was chafed under the waist belt. Xander whimpered a bit. It hurt when the air hit it. Then Spike realized that Xander was wearing the chastity cup wrong. He started swearing and didn’t stop until he had eased the sheath off Xander’s penis, which was swollen, engorged and raw. Xander sighed in relief as the leather parted and fell away.

"Turn around, you stupid git, and let me get that plug out of you." Spike got a good look at Xander’s anus and just gritted his teeth for a moment. "You bloody great wanker! You never heard of lube? What have you done to yourself?"

Xander just hung his head wearily. "Um ... not gay here. I have no idea what you’re talking
about."

Spike breathed in then out, took a deep breath and blasted Xander. "What the bloody fuckin’ hell are ... do you think you’re doin’? Why didn’t ya come to me? This is ... I don’t ... damn!"

Xander bit his lip. He wanted to turn around and face Spike, but he knew that if he did it would hurt. He’d made that mistake early on. So he just leaned on the counter and waited for Spike to run down.

When he did, Spike carefully eased the plug from Xander and examined the damage.

"Well, it’s not too bad, although I’m sure it feels worse. Idjit boy. You should have come to me."

"How am I supposed to come to you when it was supposed to be a surprise? And quit calling me an idjit." Xander started to work on a full on sulk.

Spike just patted Xander on the small of his back. "I’m sorry. Hold still an’ I’ll make you feel better."

Xander turned around, covering his backside with both hands. "No! Um ... thanks ... I mean, thanks but no thanks. I think I’ll just let it heal on its own. Making me feel better won’t ... I’d rather not ... at least I don’t think ..." Xander got a good look at Spike’s face; his eyes held a definite tinge of yellow. "Ok, shutting up now."

Spike took Xander by one arm and turned him around firmly, pushing him back to the counter.
"Bend, dammit."

Xander bent, grumbling. Spike reached up to a shelf and took down the pot of salve that the healer had given him for Xander’s infected wound. He dipped his finger into it and dabbed some onto Xander’s irritated opening. He worked it in, letting the slick salve do its work. Xander sighed softly. Spike took the opportunity to add a little more salve and ease one finger slightly into Xander’s resisting body.

Xander whimpered again. "Easy. I’m really sore."

"You’re raw. What did you use, if you didn’t use lube?"

"Spit."

Spike’s explosive ‘Fuck!’ brought an unexpected result.

"No! Not yet! I’m ... I mean ..." Xander stuttered to a halt at Spike’s rather wide eyed look. "Please. I know we’ll do it sooner or later but later, please. I know I won’t enjoy it, but I’d really rather it didn’t hurt."

Spike physically shut Xander up by putting a hand over his mouth. "Yeah, bloody well right. I don’t want to hurt ya either. Sex shouldn’t hurt, unless you like that sort of thing. An’ your first time should be somethin’ special. Not a quickie, knock boots an’ go. When I take you for the first time, you’ll be beggin’ for it. And I’ll make sure you like it. Now calm down."

Xander calmed himself as best he could. He knew by now that Spike meant what he said. The man had been a wimp and the vampire was amoral, but his word was cast in adamantine. Absolutely unbreakable. And Spike said he would never harm Xander. Xander knew that didn’t mean that Spike wouldn’t hurt him, but that was an entirely different thing.

Spike turned Xander around for the third time and eased his finger back into him. Xander whimpered a little but held still; he was starting not to hurt quite so much. Spike gently ran the pad of his finger over a little something called a prostate gland. Xander’s knees buckled and he nearly hit his head on the edge of the counter. Spike laughed gently, "Come on, pet. Let’s get you into bed." Xander let Spike lead him into the bedroom and nudge him into the bed. He lay down and obediently settled on his stomach. Spike spread his cheeks and examined him again.

"What are you doing?" Xander started to tense and earned himself a smack on the butt.

"I’m lookin’ to see how much damage you’ve really done." Spike shook his head at the results of his examination. "Not that much, but you’ve really made yourself sore. Do you remember what I told you?"

Xander nodded against the pillow. "Yeah, you said if I did myself any damage you’d cane me. Um ... I’ve never been caned before. Does it hurt a lot? Not that I’m a big baby or anything. I’ll take my punishment like a man ... I hope. But I could do better if I knew what to expect."

Spike gritted his teeth. Trust the boy to remember the bad and expect worse. "I will cane you because I said I would, but I’m not gonna cut you, or leave you so bad off you can’t sit. I remember one of my professors. He was fond of hickory. He’d take the skin right off, then make me sit and write lines. Not pleasant at all. And I didn’t learn a damn thing except to hate him. I’ll do better by you. Now, be still, relax and let me fix this."

"Ok." Xander had the Scooby skill of managing several threads of thought at one time, so when he returned to a previous subject Spike wasn’t surprised. "Um ... what did you do to me? That was ... something else. I ... think I liked it, but not too sure because with the knee buckling and the stars dancing and ... could you do it again? Just so I’ll be sure because not with the sure but I think it’s good but not so straight with the finger in my ass and what ... the plug thing didn’t feel like that it felt damn uncomfortable and very not good in a really bad sort of way only Timmins tried he did I swear so don’t go getting on him. Ok?"

Spike took a minute to unravel this convoluted example of Scooby speak. "No, pet. I’m not going to punish him. But I’m definitely havin’ the lube is good talk." Spike took another moment to mentally kick himself for that particular bit of SS. "Dammit, now you’ve got me talking like a SoCal boy. I’m gonna get you for that."

Xander smiled into the pillow. "Looks to me like you’ve already got me. Where you want me, even. Can we get on with whatever this is going to turn out to be? And when do I get punished? Not that I’m eager or anything, but better over and done as quick as possible--the anticipation is worse than the beating--so ... what next?"

"Next, this." Spike slipped his finger back into Xander and ran it over his prostate again.

Xander bucked up once then settled back on the bed. Spike was very careful not to startle Xander; he didn’t want the boy bucking again as he might hurt himself. Xander began to whimper softly as Spike continued to massage his prostate, urging him toward what, he wasn’t sure. But he was sure he wanted it.

When Xander was humping the bed rhythmically, Spike slid his other hand, lubed with the healing cream, under him and began stroking Xander’s swollen member, careful to telegraph every move. Xander let out a low moan and stilled, trembling. Spike knew that it wasn’t going to be long before Xander came. When he did it was silent, just an increase of Xander’s trembling then a few jerks. Spike resolved that, if he ever got the chip out of his head, he was going to make Tony Harris one very unhappy man.

"Liked that, did ya? Felt good, didn’t it?"

Xander managed a few semi-coherent grunts, then he rolled over with a grimace. "Yuck! Now we have to change the bed. I think Timmins is going to be pissed. We ruined the coverlet. But, on the other hand, can we do that again? I really, really liked it. A lot. Does that make me gay? Or should I really care? And need I say ... wow! Very much with the wow. Thank you."

Spike just smirked at Xander, yanked the coverlet off the bed and tossed it on the floor. "Timmins won’t say a word, even if we did ruin that damn thing. It’s mine to do what I want with. If I want ya ta come all over it, you will. Now, rest. I’ve got some stuff to do."

Xander started to say something but Spike snapped a hand up in a stop gesture and Xander subsided. He didn’t want Spike to remember that he was due a punishment, not just now. He wanted to bask in the afterglow of his orgasm, so instead he just nodded and settled back in the bed. Spike covered him with a quilt and left.

Xander pulled the quilt up to his chin then smiled as he recognized one of his Grammy’s quilts. He settled down and fell asleep almost at once.

.

Spike found Timmins and had a few words with him, which included ‘lube’ and a smack on the back of the head that would have crushed the skull of a human. Timmins just grumbled ‘ow’ and asked for the evening off. Spike told him to drop by the store and get some K-Y Jelly on the way back from wherever it was he was going. Timmins just bowed and said he’d do that.

Spike sighed in frustration; his boy was backsliding something awful. He’d finally gotten Xander to drop the Scooby Speak but now he was back to babbling again. And he’d earned a punishment on top of that. He’d hurt himself after Spike had carefully cautioned him about that. Spike rubbed at his forehead and vamped. He was going to have to think hard to figure out how to punish Xander without doing him harm. He grumbled crossly, "bastard ol’ man. Like ta bite him, I would."

Spike wondered idly where Timmins was going then turned to other concerns. Like a pile of paperwork that made him growl.

.

First Timmins dropped by a sex shop and flat out asked the clerk what he should buy. The clerk was a Dilmona demon so he knew better than to laugh; he just handed Timmins a selection of samples of lubes packaged as a gift basket along with a vibrator. Timmins made arrangements to have it delivered.

Then he dug the list Xander had given him out of his inner breast pocket and consulted the directions printed on the top. He wondered vaguely why every note Xander gave him was printed from a computer, then dismissed the niggling worry in favor of finding the electronic parts Xander wanted.

He went to Radio Shack and handed the note to the clerk. The clerk was one of those geeky types that always wind up in places like that. Timmins waited patiently as the boy pulled the parts for him as he had admitted that he had no idea at all what any of them were or where to find them.

"Well, that’s the lot. I’d just like to know what you need with a variable frequency–intensity electro-magnet that size. People call me weird. You want this delivered? ... Of course you do. Can’t carry that pile of stuff in a shopping bag. Address?"

Timmins gave the address to the clerk and walked out the door, satisfied that he’d gotten what Young Master Xander wanted. He never thought of Xander as other than Young Master, even though Xander wasn’t a vampire.

Timmins shook his head, dropped into game face and opened a manhole. He dropped through the hole and carefully oriented himself.

It didn’t take him long to get to the Harris household. It took just a moment longer to get in.

All he had to do was ring the door bell.

Jessica Harris opened the door to the nice looking, British sounding man who had smiled hopefully and asked to use the phone, the very nice man who told her she was beautiful, though she was tired and needed to sleep.

Timmins lowered Jessica onto her bed and sniffed in disdain. The smell of cheap wine covered her like a cloak. She snuffled in her sleep and rubbed her nose with the back of one hand. Timmins sneered genteelly. How this frowzy bag could have produced a man as fine as Xander was totally beyond him. He turned to look for Tony. He was easy to find.

All Timmins had to do was walk back down the stairs. Tony Harris was standing right in the dining room doorway, blinking at Timmins like a drunken bullfrog.

Timmins bowed slightly and announced, "I’m here to extract retribution on behalf of Master Spike and Young Master Alexander. You’ll strip, please."

Tony swelled up like the aforementioned frog and refused. Timmins insisted calmly. Tony got nasty. Timmins got nastier. It didn’t take him long to get Tony stripped down and bent over the back of the couch.

"Now, stay there. I’ll break something if I have to, but it would be better to avoid that particular unpleasantness. I know you’re wondering what this is all about, so I’ll tell you. You nearly ruined your own son. My father was a valet, as was his father before him and his before him. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering what that has to do with anything.

"I was taught to be loyal to my master and I was, until he was dust. Now I have a new master and he has a pet--one that it’s taking a long time to retrain. Your training ... was revolting. So I’m going to take it out of your miserable hide, until Master Spike can get around to you. Then ... well, I wouldn’t want to be you.

"I do believe he might even turn you. Just so he can spend several years torturing you, for the fun of it, you know." Timmins removed his belt. "Time to get on with it."

Tony blubbered and bawled, begged and screamed. Timmins delivered twenty hard lashes with the belt, put it back on and vamped right in Tony’s face.

"It will please you to know that your son is loved by The Master of The Hellmouth and treasured beyond all measure. Or not. Goodbye." Timmins turned to go. "Oh, you might want to put some ice on that. Or sit on some." Timmins snickered at his own little joke and left the house.

.

Buffy grumbled softly; Giles was going bat shit on her. He was still researching the incursion of the newest oogity-boogity, an insect this time. It was nearly six somethings long. But Giles couldn’t figure out what the somethings were. He’d sent the scroll to the new translator in town, who’d sent it back as it was written on human skin. Buffy wrinkled her nose, thinking ‘Eeeewww!’

"Giles, you want me to go to the translator and ... um ... convince him to do the job? I will." Giles gave Buffy a sharp look. "Oh, get a grip. I won’t actually hurt the ... whatever ... I’ll just scare it a bit."

Giles shook his head. "No, Buffy, that won’t be necessary. He is human, by the way. And a member of the Master of the Hellmouth’s court. We need to make contact with him--the Master, that is-- and try to do the pretty. We’re allies, of sorts. He won’t bother us if we don’t bother him. His role is to keep the better demon elements under control. We can’t alienate him. It’ll just make your job twice as hard."

Buffy nodded rather grumpily. They'd had a long talk and Giles had filled Buffy in on some things that slayers weren’t usually told. She’d been a bit shocked but gotten her head around the idea rather quickly. In fact she’d remarked, ‘Well, gee, now I feel so much better. I’m just a glorified cop, only for drunken demons instead of, well, shit." She’d gone on a long run then come back to say, "Ok, all better now. In fact, kinda relieved. I’m not up against the entire demon world, just the bad element. Not good, but better than it was. Now, who do I kill this week?" Giles had just shaken his head and started researching.

Willow and Tara had taken the news with ease. It seemed that Tara had filled Willow in on that particular bit of news months ago. Willow just grumped, "I was wondering when you were going to fess up. I suppose the Council of Wankers will have a spaz when they find out that you tattled on them."

Giles had winced a bi; Willow must have been listening to him on the phone. He had finally told the Council that they could take their old-fashioned attitude and Bugger Off. So, while they didn’t have the Council looming over them every moment, he’d lost some of his resources, although they couldn’t cut off the money anymore. Buffy had seen to that when she’d confronted Chambers the last time. Giles smiled in remembrance--retroactive pay for over a year! He’d set up a retirement plan, one that went to Buffy if she should survive him.

"Now, I need a book. Willow, I think it was scanned into the Council database. See if you can find it for me."

Willow nodded and started typing. Tara had replaced Xander as donut getter and was busily making coffee.

Giles was still trying to figure out how big the insects were. One resource said that they were six minimus long, but he couldn’t find out how long a minimus was. Another source showed a scarab like insect with a man drawn near it. The bug was as tall as the man and three times as long as the image was tall. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. If that was the size comparison, it was at least six feet tall and twelve to fifteen feet long. He was not happy.

"Buffy, we’re going to have to go to the court and beg the Master of the Hellmouth to allow his translator to do this job. Please ... let me do the talking. I’ll see if I can’t make arrangements. And have any of you girls heard from Xander? I left a message and got an answer back. He’s not taking calls from me until further notice. I didn’t like the tone of voice the secretary used."

Buffy winced while Tara gazed accusingly at a very red Willow.

"Well, I was going to call him yesterday but I found out I have a test tomorrow and I had to start studying for it." Buffy had the good grace to look embarrassed.

Tara just sighed, "Willow, w-w-w-a-a ..." Willow patted her on the shoulder and took up the explanation.

"I was going to call him last week but ... well ... I forgot. And then ... I’m not sure what his number is anymore. He’s with ... Spike now. And it’s just too freaky and it’s all my fault and I just ... he’ll give me the Xander eyes of doom and I hate that and I feel so bad and ... it’s Spike!"

Giles gave Buffy his Watcher look and said firmly, "I have the number. You’ll all three call him no later than tomorrow at three p.m.. Or else. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"

Three heads nodded vigorously and Giles went back to trying to finish his translation. The scroll did smell rather rank.

.

Xander woke up and stretched carefully, then relaxed. He wasn’t sore or stiff. He sighed and scrambled out of the bed. He wasn’t about to lay there wondering when Spike was going to come for him. He knew from personal experience that that would just make the punishment worse.
So when Spike looked up at him he just gulped and charged his fence.

"I’m here. You said ... I wish ... damn. I’m starting again." Xander took a deep breath and opened his mouth. Spike just shook his head.

"Never mind, pet. You smell of fear and I know what you want. I’m not going to beat you half to death or humiliate you ... much. You do realize that most punishments are humiliating just by their very nature?"

Xander was easily sidetracked. "I meant ... um ... no kissing your ... un ... or ... you know ... no making me eat worms or something. No, just no. You know?"

Spike found that he did. Xander didn’t want to be put on display or have to service someone other than Spike. There were other humiliating things, like licking Spike's boots, that were also out of bounds. Spike realized that Xander was relatively accepting, a thing that never ceased to amaze him. Once the stubborn git had made up his mind to do something, he was like an irresistible force of nature.

"Yeah, pet, I think I get it. Now ... your punishment. I said I’d cane ya good, an' I will. But you don’t have to worry about me cuttin’ ya. And I’m not gonna cane ya harder than I was caned by some of my professors ... when I was human." Spike got up and walked around the desk. He gathered Xander’s hands into his and patted them gently. "Now, I’m gonna tie ya. I don’t want ya puttin' a hand behind yourself. It’s almost instinctual but it’s no good, won’t help much and might break one of the little bones in your hand."

Xander watched as Spike tied his wrists together with a silk cord. "You mean a metacarpal? That’s not a good thing. I don’t like this. I’ll keep my hands out of the way, I swear. Ok? Please? Ok?"

Spike hardened his heart against Xander’s pleading chocolate eyes. It didn’t beat, so that puppy dog gaze didn’t hurt it, much.

"No, not takin’ a chance on breakin’ a finger. Now be a good boy and bend over the desk."

Xander blinked at Spike for a moment, then bent. Spike walked around the desk and pulled Xander’s bound hands to the edge of the desk and tied the silk cord to the drawer handle. Then he realized that he had made a small mistake. He’d forgotten to have Xander take down his trousers. Spike reached under Xander and started on his belt. Xander stiffened and tried to straighten up.

"What? No! Stop! I won’t ... it’s ..."

Spike pushed Xander back down, snapping, "Stay! I’m takin’ your pants down whether ya like it or not." Xander settled back on the desk.

"Sorry, I just freaked a little. I’ll be good. Spike?"

Spike just grunted as he was in the process of pulling Xander’s pants down to his knees and getting a good look at Xander’s tackle at the same time.

"Will it hurt a lot? I’ve never been caned before."

Spike straightened up. "Don’t think it’ll hurt as much as havin’ your dear daddy work ya over. At least I don’t intend it to. If it gets to be really too much, tell me. But no chickenin’ out, mind."

Xander froze for a split second. Spike was telling him that all he had to do was say it was too much? Ok?

Spike fetched the cane and bent it to make sure that it was in good shape. It wouldn’t do to have it split or splinter; that might cut Xander.

The first blow stung and made Xander jump, the second one was worse. After that Xander just counted in his head and went limp when his internal counter said ten. It really wasn’t that bad but Xander took a moment to make sure his breathing was even before he asked Spike to let him go. Spike untied Xander’s hands and gently rubbed the marks the cord had left. Xander just worked on controlling his breathing.

"Easy, pet. All over now, yeah? You’ll be ok in a mo’. Breathe easy." Xander nodded, cuddling up to Spike. Spike let him, with relief.

When Xander slid his arms around Spike’s waist, Spike relaxed. He rubbed up and down Xander’s back, then realized that Xander’s pants were still down around his thighs.

"Ya wanna take those off or pull ‘em up?" Xander reached down with one hand to pull his pants up. Spike released Xander and did it for him. "You all right with this? If it hurts too much, I’ll get Timmins to bring ya somethin’ more comfortable."

Xander eased the jeans up but decided he’d rather have sweats. Spike called Timmins to come and get Xander the sweats. Timmins didn’t answer.

"Well, bugger. I guess he’s not back from his outing yet. Come on. We’ll go to the bedroom and I’ll help ya with ‘em."

Xander followed Spike back to their quarters and readily allowed Spike to help him with the change of clothing. He knew that he wasn’t going to get any relief from his pain. What use was a punishment if it was eased away too soon?

After Xander was redressed and settled on his side on the couch in Spike’s office, Spike gave him another lecture on taking care of himself then asked, "Ya have any idea why I’m pissed at ya? From the look on your face, ya don’t."

Xander wriggled to get more comfortable. "Not really. I did what you asked of me. Without whining, I might add. So no, not a clue and I’d really appreciate one. Or several. I don’t like being caned. But I will admit it’s better than what my father would have done. And I’m not a coward ..."

Spike held up a hand. "You’re not. Physically or otherwise. Anyone who can stand up to Angelus is braver than they should be. Git. But you really messed up and I wanted to make sure I had your complete attention. You could have really hurt yourself and gotten Timmins dusted." Xander’s head jerked up. "Got you now? Good."

"When you shove a plug in unlubed, it’s real easy ta puncture your rectum. Not a good thing. Ya could bleed out before anyone, even a vampire, knew it. I’m proud of ya for wantin’ ta surprise me like that, but ya could at least have done some research on the ‘net. There’s a bunch of places that tell ya all sorts of information. Ya got that gear off the ‘net. Didn’t ya even think of lookin’ for info?"

Xander shook his head. "I guess I don’t think like that. All I’ve ever done is research on ancient languages, demons and shop. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at Timmins; he’s ... old enough that he doesn’t really understand the ‘net. Ok? Please?"

Spike shook his head. Xander wouldn’t even think of begging for mercy for himself but he instantly begged on behalf of someone else. He knew he had a treasure and he intended to keep him safe, even from himself.

"‘M not gonna punish Timmins. You're right, he wouldn’t have any way of knowing. But now that you’ve got the hint, no more surprises like that. Consult me about everything. I don’t want you wearing ill fitting harness or anything that will really hurt you. Understand?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, I do. And ... thanks. I’m really kind of tired. Do you mind if I take a little nap?"

Spike shook his head and told Xander to go to sleep if he wanted to.

.

Xander woke about midnight, tried to roll over and realized that he was neatly pinned by Spike’s leg. He was surprised to realize that it didn’t bother him that much.

"You awake, pet?"

"Yeah, I just woke up. Um ... I need to roll over. And ... Spike?" Spike moved his leg so Xander could roll over on his side then mumbled, ‘What, pet?’"I was just thinking. You know, I wasn’t really thrilled about this thrall thing. But now not so bad, really."

"After unraveling that... Ok, why not so bad?"

Xander snuggled his nose into Spike’s neck and sighed. "You take good care of me. Even make me take care of myself. No one’s ever done that before. ‘S nice." Xander dozed back off, leaving Spike with the fervent desire to bite someone. Watcher, Slayer, Father or Best Friend, he didn’t much care. None of them had done justice by Xander.

Spike petted Xander’s hair and started to purr.

.

Next evening Spike dragged Xander out of bed, ignoring his grumbling. Xander was still having trouble getting used to waking at four in the afternoon instead of six in the morning.

Therefore, as Spike said, he was ‘Bloody pissy’ when he got up.

Xander dragged himself through a shower, washed his hair and rooted around in his closet to try to find something he wanted to wear. He wound up with a pair of jeans, t-shirt, flannel shirt and his old boots. He liked his boots; they were old and fit his feet comfortably.

Spike took one look at Xander and smiled. "Look good, pet. Those jeans fit ya a treat, and that t-shirt. Drool worthy, that is. But those boots have got to go. They’re all worn out."

Xander took the cup of cappuccino that Timmins handed him and took a gulp. Spike winced; he was never going to get used to Xander’s asbestos mouth. "Spike, I’m not in a good mood. I woke up again and couldn’t get back to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. And I got another translation request from Giles. Another one of his nasty, stinky parchments in some other bastard language. All about bugs." Xander finished his coffee and literally whined, "I wish he’d quit sending me that stuff. When I was around, he didn’t want me to have anything to do with it. Now that I’m on my own, he won’t go away. I duwanna do it. They stink and I hate bugs."

Spike just gathered an unresisting Xander into a hug and announced, "Tell your secretary not to put his calls through unless they’re personal. And stick to it. Tell her to refuse any request for translations that are on human parchment. Or anything moldy, or stinky. You’re in charge of what you translate and what you don’t. If you have trouble gettin’ any being ta leave ya alone, let me know. And chuck those damn boots."

Xander hugged back without protest. "Ok. Thanks. And leave my boots out of it. I like ‘em."

Spike snorted, "Go dry your hair; you’re drippin’ all over. Then we’ll go shoppin’. I’ll replace those boots with something better."

Xander decided that shopping sounded like fun. "Sure thing. Give me ten minutes."

Spike gave Xander five and was glad he did.

"Oi! Wot the bleedin’ ‘ell do ya thing you’re doin’? Bloody idjit git. Freeze!"

Xander froze, scissors in hand, one lock of hair pulled straight out from his scalp. He couldn’t have moved if his life depended on it. Spike took the scissors out of his hand and smacked them down on the counter.

"Toldja not to mess with it, didn’t I?"

Xander shook his head. "You told me not to butcher it. But it’s gettin’ in my eyes. Let me go."

Spike nodded. "Ok, unfreeze. And I’m sorry. Didn’t intend ta do that. But no cuttin’ your hair. If you need it trimmed, get Timmins to do it. I’ll do it this time. Here."

Spike wrapped a towel around Xander’s neck and proceeded to trim his bangs. He snipped off bits here and there, cutting off the offending locks. But he left the back long and only trimmed the bangs enough to get them out of Xander’s eyes.

Xander examined himself in the mirror. "It looks really good. I like it." Xander shuffled his feet and hung his head, peeking at Spike from under his newly trimmed bangs. "Will you cut it from now on? I like it. No one ever bothered before. I just hacked off what was hanging in my eyes and down my collar. Thanks."

Spike just dragged Xander out of the bathroom, calling Timmins to clean up his mess.

Timmins met them in the hall with a phone in his hand. "Call for Master Xander, sir. I’ll get right on it." He handed the phone to Xander and headed for the bathroom. Xander took the phone and said, "Hello?"

Xander listened for a few moments, then asked, "What are you telling me?" His face turned an alarming shade of red. "You mean to tell me that in order to get that four hundred thousand back..." Obviously interrupted, Xander listened some more. "What about my back pay and bonuses?" He listened again. "Ok, I see. Thank you. About that restraining order, I want a copy delivered to this address. I don’t consider myself served until I read it for myself. And I’ll have my lawyer look it over. Good-bye ... oh, and fuck you."

Xander punched the cut off button and threw the phone at the wall. It dissolved into shards.
Spike flinched as one pecked him on the cheek. He hurried to grab Xander and hold him as he flailed in fury. This was not good. Xander was a lot stronger than he’d been before he fell into Spike’s hands and he was a better than average martial artist, too.

"Easy, pet. Take it easy. I heard most of it. Wot the bleedin’ ‘ell are they thinkin’? I’m callin’ the legal johnies. Just sit down. TIMMINS!!" Spike’s bellow brought the valet at a run. "Get tea. Something herbal with cat mint and chamomile. Go!" Timmins scrambled out the door.

"Now, tell me exactly what happened. I heard it all but I’m not sure exactly what some of that gobbledegook means."

Xander drew in a deep breath. "Ok. The lumber yard copped a plea ... made a deal with the PA ... prosecuting attorney. They pled guilty to a lesser charge and got off easy. They have to reimburse the company for the difference in prices, pay a fine and cancel the rest of their contract. In return, I’m out on my ass. I get let go without prejudice, I get my back pay and whatever bonuses I was promised ... and I intend to squeeze them like a lemon. Bastards. I’m not blackballed, but I’ll never work here again. Whistle blowers usually either get turned into heroes or out to pasture. I don’t like grass much. But here I am ... out to pasture. And they got a restraining order so I can’t even go to the site to visit my friends. I told them I wanted a copy of it here. They said I was served in absentia. That’s shit. They have to put a copy of it in my hand."

Spike sighed. "Well, that’s not exactly true. They only have to make sure you know that the order is in effect. It’s nice if you actually get a copy of it, but in this state not really necessary. But if there’s a copy comin’, I’ll have the solicitor look at it. Damn. Fuckin’ ... so you’re out of a job again. That so sucks."

Xander grinned a little at this example of his influence on his master, then winced. "Well, fuck. Spike? I’m gonna have a bunch of money coming in. You invested most of my other bonuses and money. Will you take care of this? And ... now that I’m through making a baby of myself, I want to go shopping."

Spike didn’t even blink at this rapid switch of emotions; Xander was very good at covering up. He decided to let it go this time. Xander didn’t need more upset just now. But he was also going to make sure that Xander faced this emotional upheaval soon.

.

Xander followed Spike into a tunnel that led from the forbidden fourth level. Spike cautioned Xander not to be down here for frivolous reasons, then led him into the tunnel. They walked for about twenty minutes then Xander gasped. There was a complete ‘open air’ market here. All kinds of demons, vampires and humans had booths of various sizes offering everything you could think of.

Spike led Xander from one booth to another, hoping to distract him from his lost job. It worked until they turned down one aisle and wound up in a second hand furniture booth.
The booth was really more of a store with quite a bit of very nice stuff. Xander was immediately attracted to some inlay. Spike decided to buy him whatever struck his fancy.

Xander picked through the pieces and set two aside. One was a very nice writing box/lap desk. The other was a large trunk. He ran his hand over the desk first, then turned to the trunk.
When he tried to open it, it wouldn’t budge. The owner of the booth came over and told him that the key was long lost but the work was so fine that he didn’t have the heart to break it open.

Xander eyed it for a few moments, then turned to Spike with a doubtful expression. "I don’t know. The inlay is very nice. I could do something with it, maybe. What do you think?"
Spike settled down to double team the booth owner. "Not sure. What could you do with a box that won’t open?"

Xander motioned to the writing desk. "This is a nice piece. I think I’d like it for my own. But the trunk ... not sure ... I might be able to cut it up and make a couple of desks using that one for a pattern. But ... if I open it wrong, it’ll shatter into bits. Might not be worth the trouble."

The booth owner saw his sale slipping through his fingers and rushed to bargain. "That’s true. But, High Master, it’s such good work. It’s decorative just as it is."

Spike realized that most of the beings in the market recognized him. He preened a bit then got back to business.

"Not interested in useless objects of doubtful art. My boy might like it, I might buy it for him ... if the price is right. Make me an offer."

The booth owner winced visibly; having to make the first offer put him at a definite disadvantage. He couldn’t make too low an offer--they’d jump on it in an instant--but he couldn’t make too high an offer either. They might take umbrage and walk away. So he sweated for a while, hemmed and hawed and finally gave his true asking price.

Xander just shrugged. "I want the desk, but we can let that trunk go, easy as not. It’s not worth much as it is. I’ll either have to take the chance of breaking it to bits or saw the end off it. It’s just what you think it’s worth. I wouldn’t pay that much if it opened."

Spike ran his tongue over his teeth with a smirk. "You heard my boy. I’ll give you ... um ...’ Spike named a figure less than half what the merchant had asked. He grumbled and asked half again. Xander blinked slowly, "For both pieces."

Spike nodded. "Yeah. Both."

The merchant gave up. The twin beams of Spike’s blue gaze and Xander’s sharp brown glare was unnerving him. He agreed without a grumble. Xander silently cheered. He really wanted that trunk.

Spike arranged for the desk and trunk to be delivered and dragged Xander away to look at weapons and boots.

They didn’t find much in the way of weapons. Xander was more knowledgeable than Spike had expected but he was easily fooled by flash. Spike had to dissuade him from buying a tin glazed mild steel gladius because he liked the pommel. Xander pouted a bit but brightened when Spike dragged him to a leather booth.

.

Xander fingered the leather carefully. "Seems strong enough. I want a pair of elf boots."

Spike winced; pointy-toed footwear was not only cliche but inaccurate. No one really wore pointed toes outside of a harem. "You sure, pet?"

"Yeah, I saw some in the corner over there, and I really like them. Soft soles, good traction. If you make the soles out of the right sort of leather, there’s no problem with stepping on something and getting a stone bruise. And they’re really quiet. I’ve got to get an edge on Master Bruce. I’ve got another round of training coming up. Might as well, since I lost my job I’ve got plenty of time. I’m getting really good. You’ve seen. And I’m going to get better yet. I want my ten dan. Now, boots. Yes or no."

Spike caved with good grace. "As long as you’re not talking about those pointy-toed monstrosities ya see in movies, go for it."

So Xander picked out the leathers, got measured and led Spike out into the market again.

They wandered around for a while, watching the entertainments and poking into this and that.

Then it happened. Xander bumped into someone who turned out to be human and drunk. Spike stepped between them to try to reason the man out of a fight. He wasn’t about to expose Xander to the risks of an all out marketplace brawl. The human punched him in the face, knocking him down and splitting his lip. Xander straddled him and punched the man back.
They were saved from any further embarrassment by the marketplace ‘peace enforcers’ arriving and removing the obviously belligerent human. Spike brushed the whole thing off as nothing then dragged Xander back to their home, snarling all the way.

Xander allowed himself to be dragged without protest. He realized that he was going to have to spring his second surprise sooner than he’d intended. He’d wanted to wait for Spike’s Re-Birthday.