Betaed by the ever helpful Skippyscatt *smushes*

Duo spent the next few days working out and writing. He wrote every word he knew and
composed sentences to improve his grammar. He knew Heero wanted him to go to court with
him so he did that on alternating days. The other day he went down to the stables and worked out
the horse. He found out that the stablemen had originally named him Starveling but the name
that stuck was The Black.

Heero realized that Duo was doing something to strengthen himself so he let him have his time.
But he did caution him gently. "Duo, remember the house rules. Please. I don't want to have to
punish you for breaking them."

Duo nodded solemnly. He didn't want to be punished for breaking rules that he knew were made
to protect everyone. He'd be careful. He nodded at Heero and made an X across his chest. Heero
looked at him puzzled.

"What are you trying to say? I don't understand."

Duo held up one hand palm out and patted his chest with the other.

"You swear? But . . . never mind, write it down for me this afternoon. I'm done with court, so if
you want me I'll be in the outer bailey." Heero grumbled. "Trying to train a bunch of Shitfoots to
be soldiers. Goddess help me."

Duo hugged Heero in sympathy, then shooed him out the door. He headed for his secret room to
sing his morning song. It was later than he liked, somehow he knew his song should be sung at
first light but he did what he could. He hoped whoever he was singing to would understand.

When Duo got to his rooms, he opened the shutters over the balcony doors. There was no door
per say, just the opening. The doors themselves had rotted away, the only reason the shutters
hadn't was because they were weather treated. He stepped out onto the shallow balcony and
started to sing. He sang, feeling lonely and forlorn. It showed in his voice. Brushing aside the
concealing vines he gazed over the valley, wondering when he was going to start recovering his
memory then he wondered if he really wanted to. What if he had been born a slave, what if he'd
been a criminal sentenced to slavery to punish him. Somehow he didn't feel that could be right.

He went back inside and did the slow, ballet like shadow boxing first, then he did exercises to
increase his muscles. After he'd worked up a sweat he went into the bathing chamber and filled
the bath tub. He was glad he'd lit the fire under the boiler before he started working out. The old
furniture was turning out to be very useful.

He bathed, then settled in to soak for a while, it felt so good. He thought he ought to tell Heero
about the rooms, but he just wanted to keep his secret for a little while longer. After all, what
harm was there really. He wasn't hiding anything bad. If he thought for a moment that his secret
endangered the keep in any way he'd tell Heero at once.

oOo

Heero eyed the bouncing men with distaste evident in every line of his body. As many of them
were farm boys, he'd thought that they would be better on horse back than they were. Many of
them admitted that they'd never straddled a horse in their lives.

How they could be around horses all their lives and not ride them was absolutely beyond Heero.
He watched one boy nearly fall off as the horse he was on took it into his head to just stop. Heero
gave the horse a sharp smack on the rump with his riding crop and snarled at the boy. He eyed
the group with a weary sigh. They were doing worse if it was possible.

"Will you pay attention to your horses? The Goddess curse you all with boils. How the hell am I
supposed to protect your villages if you can't even ride a damn horse?"

Several of the men had the grace to look ashamed, the rest just looked scared.

Duo meanwhile had gone down to the stables and taken Black out for his ride. After asking for a
collected canter and getting it, Duo decided that the horse was in good enough condition to try
some easy jumps. The horse responded easily and jumped without protest.

Duo returned to the stables and after some rather silly pantomime got the stable master to
understand that he was going to take Black into the outer mot, the grassy area between the inner
and outer keep walls, where all the training areas were. He wanted to work the horse harder than
was possible in the large corral he'd been using.

Heero shouted commands to the boys who rode around him in a large messy circle. They
couldn't keep their horses in the circle nor keep themselves in the saddles. He caught sight of a
rider clear on the other side of the yard. He started to yell at the fool who was out of place but he
realized it was Duo just in time. He nearly strangled on the shout but managed to stifle it. He
didn't want to scare Duo into doing something stupid.

Instead he called Duo gently hoping he would hear. Duo did hear and rode over to see what
Heero wanted.

Heero reached out carefully and caught the reins close to the bridle. "How's he working?"

Duo held out one hand and waggled it a bit. The Black mouthed the bit restlessly so Heero
started petting his soft nose.

"Fair? That's nice. Is he trained?" Duo nodded then sighed loudly. "Do you want to ride some
more?" Duo nodded but pointed to Heero's group. "You want to join them? Good. Come along."

Heero didn't lead Black, he allowed Duo to follow him to the circle.

Duo joined the group and carefully guided the big horse in a neat circle. He knew what was
wanted; again, he didn't know how. He started Black trotting.

Heero eyed Duo for a second then decided that he wasn't going to cut him any more slack than
the other boys.

"Duo! Collect that trot. You're all over the place. Heels down, elbows in." Duo obeyed Heero's
orders and collected Black, he corrected his own form as well. He glanced around and realized
why Heero was always in such a bad mood after a training session. None of the boys knew how
to do more than stay on the horse, if that. Duo decided to show his best form for Heero.

Heero called for a collected canter and was answered by chaos, limbs flailed, horses bucked and
tried to run. Heero swore like a trooper, which he was, and called a halt.

"Look at him. He's a slave and he knows more about this than you do. Watch him." Heero hoped
he wasn't wrong.

Duo eased Black into the center of the ring at Heero's command. He settled himself and his
horse and waited. The command walk was easy so Duo guided his horse into a slow walk around
the circle. He paid strict attention to the horse and his form wanting it to be perfect. If Heero was
going to show such confidence in him he wasn't going to let him down if he could help it.

He walked around several times while Heero explained to the boys what he wanted from them.
The whole group watched with concentrated interest. It wasn't that they didn't want to
cooperate; it was just that they had no experience at all with armies or the organization that came
along with it.

When Heero gave him the command to trot, Duo gave Black the office. Just as they'd practiced
for the last several days Black broke into a slow trot while Duo sat into it. They trotted, and
Heero pointed out what was wanted again. Then Heero called Duo back into a walk and sent all
the others to follow him increasing the size of the circle by double so that the horses weren't quit
so close together. The increased distance between the horses and the visual example of Duo
made so much difference that Heero was astonished and very pleased.

He made sure to praise each boy on his improvement. He realized that he wasn't praising them
enough. He remembered how much it had hurt him when his Masters had failed to acknowledge
his accomplishments. It was one of the things that had made him so insular. Quatre's constant
admonishments to open up had made him aware of his short comings but he still had trouble
with it.

When he was done with his troopers, he called Duo over to him for a quick talk.

"Duo, I'm so proud of you. I didn't know you could ride. Did you?" Duo shrugged, but smiled
happily at the praise. "Well, do you remember anything?" Duo's face fell and he gave Heero a
sad look, shaking his head. He rubbed his temple. "Head hurt? If it does just turn your horse over
to one of the stable boys . . . this once. Don't make a habit of it. Go." Duo cantered off toward
the stables. Heero watched with growing interest. Duo rode like he'd been born on a horse.

oOo

Heero grumbled to himself, things had been going so well, he should have known there would be
a problem soon. The Sergeant -at-Arms had summoned him to the Guard House.

"Well, I'm here, what is it?"

The man sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "We have a couple of climbers. I didn't bother
questioning them, I knew you'd want to do it yourself. They're in the side room."

Heero followed the Sergeant to a medium sized room to the side of the main hall. The two men
were seated on stools placed before a table. Most of the rest of the garrison stood around the
wall. Behind the table was one chair. Heero went behind the table and sat in the chair. The
Sergeant stood at his left side and crossed his arms over his chest.

Heero eyed the two crestfallen men with ill concealed impatience. He waited for a moment then
growled. "I'm waiting."

The younger of the two looked up. "He dared me to."

Heero let his head hang for a moment, then straightened up. He pinned the man with a cold stare.
"If he dared you to jump off the battlements, would you do it?"

"Hells, no. That's stupid."

"Well climbing into the old wing is just as stupid. The floors are rotten."

The older man shook his head. "They can't be."

Heero turned is arctic gaze on him. "And why not?"

"They're stone."

Heero started to say something, gave the man a disgusted look and pointed up. "Look up."

Everyone in the room did.

"So?"

"What do you see?"
The man shrugged. "The ceiling."

"What's it made of?" Heero hoped he was getting through to him.

George Guard looked at Heero as if he were crazy. "Wood, Sire. As we all can plainly see."

Heero nodded. "You see now?"

"No, I don't. Or rather I see the ceiling. What does that have to do with a floor?"

Heero groaned. "Goddess give me patience and I need it now." This kind of ignorance drove him
to the screaming point.

"Very well. What's above the ceiling?"

The younger man had turned pale, he answered before his companion could get them in any
more trouble than they were already. "The second floor, My Lord."

"Which rests on the ceiling which is what?"

George caught on finally. "OH . . . um . . . which is rotten in the old wing." The man gave a
groan. "And it's holding up the stone floor above it. All right, I see." The man rose from his stool
and knelt on the floor. "Forgive my ignorance, My Lord."

Heero nodded his forgiveness. "You're forgiven. But that doesn't get you out of punishment"

The man squared his shoulders. "No, My Lord, I didn't think it would."

Heero looked at both of the men and decided that they knew what they'd done wrong, now was
not the time for strict measures.

"See if you can't make the rest of the men understand why such dares are forbidden. And since
you're the instigator. Six lashes and two weeks stable cleanup detail." Heero turned to the
younger man. "And you knew better. I'm sure your mother told you darers go first. Five lashes
and two weeks dish washing detail. Go."

Both men looked so relieved that Heero had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

After the men had left to receive their punishment at the hands of the Flogger, Heero turned to
the Sergeant-at-Arms. "I want it spread about that the next man caught on that wall for any
reason isn't going to get off so easily. I'll administer ten blows myself. Is that quite clear?"

The Sergeant shivered. "Yes, My Lord. It is quite clear."

Heero noticed the shiver. "Something?"

"No, My Lord. Just what my Mam would have called a Warning from the Goddess. Cold chill.
Nothing to worry about. I hope."

Heero felt a tightness in his own shoulders. Something bad was going to happen, he was sure of
it.

oOo

Heero managed to make it back to his quarters without being tagged again. He was glad for that
as his feet hurt, his back hurt, his throat was sore and he was very sweaty. He wanted his boots
off, a back rub and tea in his bath.

Duo greeted Heero at the door with a soft smile. He was sore in his legs and lower back. He
wanted tea in the bath and some time to show Heero his translation of the book.

He took one look at Heero and patted him on the shoulder. Kneeling at his feet, Duo pulled his
boots off for him and started to hand him a pair of house slippers. Then he twinkled up at Heero.

Heero caught the sparkling look and smiled. "Very well, my little one, what is it?"

Duo held his nose and waved his hand over Heero's feet.

"My feet stink, do they?"

Duo nodded, giving a disgusted snort. He pulled Heero's socks off, balled them up and tossed
them aside. He tugged Heero toward the bathing chamber, glad that he'd managed to make the
chamber maid understand that she was to light the fire under the kettles of water there. It was
going to be so nice to take a hot bath with Heero.

Heero reached up to the shelf over his desk. He took down a canister and let Duo tug him into
the next room.

Duo poured the hot water into canisters and carried them to the bath tub. Heero got a tea pot
from the mantle and put some of the herbs in his canister into it. He started to look for the dipper
and smiled to find Duo handing it to him. He dipped water into the tea pot and put it on the ledge
behind the tub to steep.

Duo helped him take off his clothing, then stripped himself. Heero was glad to see that all his
wounds had healed well. He'd kept an eye on Duo's wounds but when they had healed enough
that they didn't need tending Duo had managed to keep him from seeing much. Now he seemed
not to mind Heero's gaze anymore. Heero wondered if Duo had thought the scabs would disgust
him.

They hadn't, but Heero had felt that forcing the issue wasn't worth it. Now he was glad to see
that Duo didn't seem body shy around him.

Duo got into the tub and motioned Heero to join him. Heero gave him a small grin. "Didn't you
forget something?"

Duo gave him a puzzled look, reached for his slate and frowned as he realized it was on the
hearth by the kettles.

"How are we supposed to drink the tea? Out of the spout? Take turns?" Heero snickered as Duo
slapped himself on the forehead. "Never mind. Stay there, I'll get them." Heero waved his hand
at Duo in a 'stay there' gesture as he started to get out of the tub.

Heero collected the cups and joined Duo in the tub. "Here. I'll pour the tea, you hold the cups."

Duo obediently held the cups while Heero poured. They settled back to enjoy a companionable
soak while they sipped the mint and lavender brew.

"You know this isn't really tea."

Duo managed an enquiring noise, which made Heero smile. Duo was getting more vocal every
day, Heero had hopes that he was recovering his voice.

"No, really. Tea comes from Chin. What we're drinking is really an herbal tisane. You ask
Wufei, he'll lecture you for an hour about tea and herbs. Interesting, if you like such things."

Duo pressed the back of his hand to his forehead throwing his head back dramatically.

"Spare me?" Duo nodded. Heero laughed. "Very well. I won't tell him you're fascinated by
herbs and all that. And beg him to teach you all he can." Heero ducked a splash of water from
Duo's cupped hand. "No . . . no water fight today. I'm tired."

Duo poked at Heero until he was leaning on the side of the big tub, his head resting on his
crossed arms. Duo slicked his hands with some soap from the jar on the ledge and started
massaging Heero's back. Heero groaned softly.

"Goddess, that feels so good. I'll give you a year to stop." Duo pinched Heero on the ribs and
tugged to get him to turn around. "What. Don't stop. I . . .oh . . . oh . . . never mind. I never
knew that could feel so good." Duo had taken one of Heero's tired sore feet in his hands and was
running his thumbs over the arch. The hard strokes, one after the other, made Heero's toes curl.

Heero sighed with relief as his foot stopped aching, Duo took up the other foot and gave it the
same treatment. Then he pulled the plug in the tub and let the water start running out.

Heero idly commented, "You know that doesn't work in the winter? The pipe freezes at the first
hard freeze and isn't usable until thaw." He reached up to feel the tea pot. "Still warm. More?"

Duo nodded and offered his cup for a refill. Heero refilled his cup and climbed out of the now
empty tub.

Duo handed him his cup and got out too. He gathered towels from an open cupboard and handed
one to Heero. He groaned softly as his legs protested, their reluctance to move, a result of his
unaccustomed riding. Not that he minded, really, he was glad that he had made Heero proud of
him.

"Sore?" Duo nodded and pointed to his legs. "Head for the bed. I'll rub them for you." Duo gave
Heero an astonished look. He couldn't believe his master was offering to rub his legs. "Don't
give me that look. I said I'd take care of you didn't I? Well, rubbing your sore legs comes under
that tent. Come on. And don't forget your tea. I draw the line at carrying your cup."

Duo obediently followed Heero carrying his cup of tea. He wanted his massage but he had
something to do first.

Heero turned at the soft click of Duo's cup on the desktop. "Don't you want a massage?" Duo
nodded but reached in the desk. He pulled out the fairytale book and his translation. "What's
that?"

Duo handed the papers to Heero, then wrote on his slate. "Translate book. Just a little. Wufei will
fix grammar if you like. Is book of tales. Books. . ." Duo made a frustrated sound. He'd run out
of room on the slate.

Heero glanced up at Duo. "You're beginning to be able to make sounds. That's good. Maybe the
problem is related to your health? I'll ask Wufei. He's frustrated as a one legged man in an ass
kicking contest. He's been researching like a mad thing and not finding any information that he
thinks is relevant. But . . . what's wrong."

Duo handed Heero his slate and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

"Don't pout. Just get some of that fool's cap paper and write what you what to say. I don't care if
the spelling and grammar are a little off. If you were taking court notes or something it would be
different. Write."

Duo grinned at Heero and settled to write. After a few minutes, in which Heero admired his
graceful form and quick motions, Duo handed Heero a page.

"Books like the one's you have is lady's books. They read them to each other. A sign of large
status. They meant to be beautiful as well as reading. They were call toy book. Pictures were to
be admired . . . copied in sewing works. All three books makes a set. One of the Goddess. Her
words. Two of the health. Herbs lore(?) Not right word I think. But teach about tea and salves.
So third one for writing house money records. Put in what spent and what . . . I don't have
words. I'm sorry. Please. I do my duty tonight?"

Heero read the page with growing annoyance. He'd wasted many hours trying to translate a book
in an antique language thinking it was a spell book only to find out that it was a status symbol
for a spoiled rich girl. When he read the last line, his heart gave a convulsive thump.

"I see. The books are just toys for rich girls?" Duo nodded. He felt bad for Heero. He was going
to feel worse. "And this last line. Do your duty? If you mean what I think you mean. No, you
will not. Now or ever. Tell me you don't mean you . . . had sex with me because it was your duty
to do so."

Duo gave Heero a startled and scared look, but nodded his head slowly. He wasn't sure exactly
what he'd done wrong. He took the paper back from Heero and wrote below his first
explanation.

"Sorry. I do wrong? You not want? I do duty. Make Master feel good. Be good slave. You not
happy. Tell what you want. I do. Not want be bad slave. Not want hiding for being. No words.
Sorry sorry. Tell slave what you want. Sorry."

Heero read carefully then he took the paper and rolled it up. He put it in a scroll case with all the
other notes Duo had left him. Then he turned to Duo.

"Stay here. I . . . I don't want your damn duty. I want you . . . I want . . . want you to want me.
Me. Not please Master. Not . . . Dammit! I don't know how to explain it so you understand."

Duo wasn't sure exactly what he'd done wrong but he was frightened. He hadn't been this
frightened since he'd first come here. He knew Heero was angry, his eyes had turned black
instead of that glorious cobalt blue he loved so much. He went to touch Heero but Heero flung
his hand up.

"No. Don't touch me. Never touch me like that. I'm going out. I won't be back tonight. Sleep in
the bed, not on the floor or something stupid like that."

Heero threw on trews and tunic, he grabbed his boots and a cloak and headed for the door. Duo
followed him around the room whimpering softly and cursing his lack of voice. Heero jerked the
door open and left slamming the door so hard it jumped the frame and jammed.

Duo just dropped to the floor and sat in a stunned heap sobbing softly. He had no idea what he'd
done wrong. Duo sat and cried for a while then he wiped the tears off his face and stood up.

He knew that Heero wouldn't want him now that he'd been so stupid. He wasn't sure exactly
what he'd done wrong but it was obviously something horrendous. He wondered what he should
do now. He had to leave but where should he go?

Duo gathered up everything he knew was his. His common clothing; one pair of trousers, a tunic,
a pair of socks and his boots. He knew his dictionary was his, Heero had given him the book, as
well as his pens and ink well. He took some of the fool's cap paper as Heero had told him he
could have as much as he wanted. He took his slate and chalk and nothing else. He tucked it all
into a cloth sack and left the rooms. It took him some effort to force the door.

oOo

Duo entered the open door of the guard house and stood wondering if he should just die now.
This wasn't going to be pleasant at all.

When one of the men finally noticed him, he poked the man sitting next to him and pointed. That
man blinked and muttered, "oh, hell. It's the King's catamite. Better get him under cover before
someone gets ideas above their station and does something to get us all flogged." The man
glanced around quickly, but everyone else seemed to be busy or of the same opinion they were.
"Go get the Sergeant-at-Arms or the Captain. I'll corral the kid."

They split up and each man hurried to their self assigned tasks.

"Hello, there. You better come with me. I don't want to scare you but you shouldn't be in the
common room here. I'll take you to the Captains quarters. You'll be better off there."

Duo eyed the man with some trepidation. This could be just a ploy to get him out of the common
room so the man could be first. Duo clamped down on his thoughts and decided that he would
obey the man. It seemed the best of the worst. He seemed kind, maybe he wouldn't him hurt too
much.

They entered a Spartan but spotlessly clean sleeping chamber. Duo's guide pointed to a stool at
the foot of the narrow bed. "Sit there. Keep your stuff with you. Wait. I'll go see if Danald has
found the Captain yet." The man went out the door, then stuck his head back in. "And don't
leave. Don't open the door. Stay." Duo sighed and sat on the stool, careful to keep his bag with
him.

The man didn't get far, he nearly ran right into the Captain and the Sergeant-at-Arms. They
demanded to know where Duo was and he pointed them to the correct room and got out of ear
shot as quickly as he could. When he entered the common room, he was pounced upon by a
spokes man who demanded to know every thing he knew. All he could tell them was Duo had
shown up at the door, he was tear stained and had his things with him.

The general opinion was that Duo didn't belong there and needed to be else where before there
was trouble.

The Captain was of the same opinion and told Duo he couldn't stay there. When Duo handed
him the slate where he'd written, "Heero angry. I come here for punish. You do what . . . ?"

The Captain just looked at the Sergeant. They both knew of some Masters'habit of sending
slaves to the barracks for punishment. "Not in my command. Never. You can't stay here. You'll
cause all kinds of trouble. If someone tries 'that' with you someone else will take exception and
there'll be a fight. I don't need this kind of trouble. I'll have something to say to the Master in
the morning."

The Sergeant just shook his head. "I wouldn't have thought it of the Young Master. Did he say
you were to come here? And don't be handing me that slate, told you I don't read." Duo just
nodded then pointed to the Captain, wrote on the slate and handed it to him.

The Captain read for the Sergeant. "Heero not say come here. Where else I go? He mad. I go."

The Sergeant shrugged. "If he didn't give you a direct order to come here, I don't know where
you should be. But not here. I don't want that kind of trouble either. You should go back to
quarters. If master has to look for you . . . well . . . I don't know. Just scat."

Duo looked from one man to the other then he gathered up his sack and followed the Captain to
the side door and slipped out into the falling night.

He stood outside the door for quite a while trying to decide what to do. If he was not at the guard
house surely Heero would wonder where he was when he wanted him back. Then he shuddered,
what if he'd been so bad that Heero never wanted him back? What if he put him on the road? A
slave on the road was as good as dead, as he was well aware. He finally decided to go to the
stables, maybe they had a place for him there. And the Stable Master could read, as Duo was
well aware. He headed off into the night.

oOo

The Stable Master grumbled, he'd been counting on a calm evening, a cup of tea and a chance to
study stud lines. But the stable boy seemed rather frantic as he shouted up the stairs for him to
come down. As he descended the stairs he wondered what could possibly be causing such a fuss,
when he saw a tearful Duo standing in the main alley with a small sack in his hand he swore
softly.

"Well, what the hell has that young whippersnapper done now. Come on in boy. Tell me what's
wrong. I know you'll have to write it down so come up to my quarters and I'll make you some
tea."

Duo sniffled pitifully and followed the man up the stairs. He didn't see the sympathetic looks
that followed him, nor hear the whispered comments condemning Heero as a 'right rough 'un.'

The Stable Master waited patiently as Duo scribbled his way through an explanation. While he
read, Duo made more tea. He hoped that keeping his hands busy would make them quit shaking.

When Master Francis was done reading he just sighed heavily and thumped the table with one
fist. "I'd like to give that boy a good swift kick. Who the hell does he think he is? Now you sit
down and listen to me. I'll tell you like it is."

Master Francis talked for a good hour then told Duo to write down what he wanted to say to
Heero then go to bed. "I'd imagine that he'll be looking for you sooner or later. I don't think he
meant for you to leave. He did say for you to sleep in the bed?" Duo nodded hesitantly. He was
beginning to have second thoughts. "Well, it won't hurt for him to worry a bit. If anyone has
sense to come here to find you, you'll be right here." He fixed Duo with a sharp look. "Won't
you?" Duo nodded tiredly and started to think and write.

When he was done, he folded the pages and put them in his sack. He crawled into the narrow cot
that the stable master let sick stable boys sleep in so he could keep an eye on them. He fell into a
restless sleep.

oOo

Heero stalked the battlements for most of the night. It hurt more than he could say that Duo had
initiated sex with him out of a sense of duty. He'd thought it was a sign that Duo was starting to
care for him. His disappointment was bitter on his tongue.

He decided he needed a better perspective on this so he headed for Wufei's quarters, completely
ignoring the fact that it was well into third watch, the moon had set.

Wufei was seriously annoyed and said so. He'd answered the door with his hair in his eyes and a
fur robe clutched around his naked shoulders. When he'd gotten a good look at Heero, he'd
snarled. "Well, don't just stand there either come in or go away, preferably the latter."

When Heero had just looked lost, Wufei had told him to go to the kitchen while he got dressed.
Now they were sitting at the kitchen table while Heero poured his heart out to his physician and
friend.

Wufei nodded from time to time and grunted every so often. It was enough to keep Heero talking
until he'd talked out most of his rage and pain.

"So you didn't want sex with him? I thought you couldn't wait until Duo was well enough to
recieve you."

Heero shook his head then shoved weary hands through messy hair that had seen one too many
shoves. He crossed his hands on the table top and dropped his head on them resting one cheek on
them. A miserable reflection of a happier moment.

"I want him to want me, just me. I don't want him to please his master. I want him to make love
with me. Me."

Wufei looked puzzled. "You keep saying that. Who else would he make love, have sex with, but
you?"

Heero sighed. "He . . . I . . . dammit. I want him to want just plain me. Not Scary Master. Or
King Yuy. Just poor, sad Heero. Does that make any sense at all?"

Wufei just grunted. "Yes, it makes perfect sense now. And you're not going to get that unless
you explain it to him. Carefully. He's so used to having to 'pay' for everything with his body
that he's probably very confused right now. You need to make sure he knows that no matter
what. If he never wants that with you, he won't be cast off. Abandoned because he's no use to
you. Understand?"

Heero gave Wufei a horrified look. "I do . . . I . . . I think I've made a really bad mistake. I . . .
walked out on him. I was so mad. I left before I said or did something I shouldn't. I . . . he's
probably so scared. I better get back to him right away. Dammit."

Wufei rubbed his face tiredly. Heero was so complicated that sometimes he felt like he was
trying to unravel a knot with no ends. He headed back to bed, hoping for at least a couple more
hours of sleep before he had to get up again.

oOo

Heero opened the door to his quarters slowly. Hoping against hope that Duo was asleep in their
bed. He wasn't.

Heero panicked, all he could think was that Duo had run away. If he'd done that, nothing could
save him from a whipping. He called the footman and sent him for the Sergeant-at-Arms.

The Sergeant was only half dressed as he rushed into the main hall expecting to be told that they
were under attack by the raiders. Instead he found Heero pacing furiously from dais to offering
table and back.

"My Lord, what is it?"

Heero turned to him and snarled. "Duo. Where is he? He's not in quarters."

The Sergeant sighed. "He came into the barracks with his little bits of things and gave the
captain a note that said he was sent down. We won't have someone like him in barracks, so I
sent him back up. I have no idea where he went if he didn't return to you."

Heero picked up a stool and threw it against the wall where it shattered into splinters. "I want
him found. Now. No one touches him, no one so much as looks at him funny. Now find him."

The Sergeant hurried out. He knew there was trouble on the horizon if he didn't find that silly
slave boy and fast. He called his aide to him and sent him to the stables to ask for all the stable
boys to come help search for Duo.

Heero paced, worried and swore for the next hour. Dawn was just breaking when the stable
master came in with Duo in tow.

One look at Duo's miserable face and Heero melted. "You fool. You should have stayed in
quarters. What did you think you were doing?"

Duo knelt at Heero's feet and offered him several sheets of paper which he held up on the palms
of his hands. Heero took them with a shaking hand. He couldn't believe he was that upset.

Heero read the papers with a sinking heart. One paragraph stood out. "I did my duty to you, not
because I was afraid not to, but because I wanted to make you happy. Now I don't know what
you want. All I wanted to do was please you and give you something nice. I don't know how I
have offenced you. I will go to the stables and work there. Please don't put me on the road.
Forgive my stupidity."

Heero gathered Duo into his arms, "I'm sorry. It was my fault. You're not to go to the stables."
Heero turned to the gathered people and announced. "Thank you all for finding Duo. We had a
misunderstanding and Duo thought I meant for him to go away. Please take the day off. Go to
your rest now." The room cleared quickly and Heero took Duo to their rooms.

When they got there, Heero sat Duo in the comfortable chair he favored and knelt before him.

"I'm sorry. Truly sorry. I didn't understand. You gave me the most precious gift you had to give
and I threw it back in your face. The gift of your body in willing intercourse should have
satisfied me until I can convince you to offer me the thing I want most. Please forgive me."

Duo peeked at Heero's solemn face and then dissolved into tears again. He cried for their
misunderstanding. He cried for his lost memories; his lost voice. Heero comforted him as best he
could, holding him and rubbing gentle circles on his back.

Heero finally picked Duo up and tucked him into the bed. He slid in behind him and held him as
he cried until he had hiccups. Heero finally shook Duo rather roughly.

"Please stop. You'll make yourself sick. Stop it. I'll call Wufei and he'll make you some tea to
calm you. Would you like that?"

Duo shook his head vigorously making his hair swirl wildly. He made a face and did his best to
quit weeping. He managed to stop his tears but he still had hiccups. Heero sat up in the bed and
patted his thigh. "Over my lap."

Duo crawled over Heero's lap and whimpered slightly. Heero gave him one smart smack on the
backside. Duo gasped and went limp.

Heero rubbed the smacked spot gently. Duo looked over his shoulder at Heero with a puzzled
expression. He raised one eyebrow at Heero who smirked at him. "Cured your hiccups didn't it.
Come here." He held out his arms and Duo crawled into them with a sigh.

"You'll never do that again. No matter how mad I get, or you get. You'll never leave, do you
understand?"

Duo nodded against Heero's chest. He felt safe at last. Heero cuddled Duo and stroked his hair.
He smiled to himself, he had found something he though would make Duo happy.

"I'll have to find you something to tie your hair with. It's getting long enough to make a tail.
You have beautiful hair."

Duo gasped softly. When he reached to the back of his head, he found that Heero was holding
his hair in a very short, but real, tail. He sniffled a bit then nuzzled Heero, who let go of the hair
and held him close.

"Never take off like that again. Promise!" Duo nodded wearily. He was so tired he'd promise
anything if Heero would let him go to sleep. Heero settled down to sleep too, satisfied that Duo
would keep his promise.