Ranma 1/2

Disclaimer: I don’t own Ranma, Rumiko Takahashi does. I just borrowed some of the characters. Rated: NC-17

Shades of Home

Chapter 6

"DIE, RANMA SAOTOME"

"AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! FUCK! Who's it now?" Ranma looked around hurriedly. His quick reflexes let him catch sight of his attackers, but his courage failed him when he saw who they were. Sunny and Leela drooped out of the tree he had walked under.

"MEGA-MAJOR TICKLE ATTACK" Sunny pushed Ranma, Leela grabbed his shoulders and pulled. Ranma fell over onto his back. "EEK!! Get him! Pull his shirt up! Get his shoes!" The giggling girls proceeded to suit action to words.

Sunny knew where Ranma was ticklish, so Sunny grabbed Ranma by the ankles and pulled off one of his shoes, Leela thrust her hands under Ranma's shirt. Their fingers danced along his ribs and across the soles of his feet. Ranma laughed till tears ran from his eyes, he rolled in the soft, cool grass and begged for mercy. "NNOOO!! Help!! Ssave me! I give! I give!! NO more, please." Ranma couldn't stop laughing.

After several minutes of tickling by the girls and begging by the helpless boy, they collapsed in a heap.

"Well, I'm glad to see that you can have fun. But could you not scare the staff into fits while you're doing it." Steven's amused voice brought Ranma to attention, more or less . If you can come to attention while pined down by two snickering girls. "I really would not recommend jumping Ranma without at least that much warning. You girls are asking for it. You know that don't you?"

Steven tried to look stern but his twitching lips gave him away.

"Best get going. You are all late for class as it is. Go! Scat! Shoo!" Steven flapped his hand at the teens.

"Well, that makes me feel much better. Dorie, did you see them. They got him to relax for the first time since he's been here. He's such a solemn kid. I was afraid that he didn't know how to have fun."

Steven turned to his secretary, Dorie smiled back at Steven.

"I finally got the last reports from our contact. You wouldn't believe some of the hair brained schemes he's been through. Some really scary stuff. I have the synopsis here, but I think you should read the full version. Something about a Neko-Ken, Kun something. Really weird."

Ranma looked around the classroom. There were only five students counting himself. "Un, where're the rest a' the kids. This can't be all a' us. Is it?!" Ranma felt a little scared, after all that had happened to him in his life he was beginning to get tired of surprises. This last month was just the nastiest so far and he was still feeling the effects.

"Hello, Ranma. My name is Mr. Cox. I'm your Home room teacher and your Strategy teacher. I've been told that Steven, as usual, didn't tell you much of what goes on here. He always leaves this up to me." All the others laughed and nodded. "And as usual in the Compound, we live on the edge of chaos. So I'll start your introduction to life in the Shadows by asking you if you know what a mission statement is."

Ranma scowled and shrugged. "Haven't gota' clue. Why don'tcha just spit it out an' save me th' trouble a' askin' a' bunch a' annoyin' questions. I'm sure ta' miss th' only one that'll keep me outa' trouble."

"Ok, Mr. Saotome. We're running a little hot and cold right now, aren't we? That's to be expected. Considering your background and what you've been through we can make some allowances." Mr Cox smiled at Ranma kindly.

"I don't know what you're babbling about an' I don't care. I don't need no pity, nor codlin' neither. So you got somthin' ta' say, say it."

Ranma crossed his arms over his chest and sulked as only a pissed off 16 year old can.

Mr. Cox sighed and looked at the ceiling. {Give me patience and I need it now}

"A mission statement is a, well it's a short report, telling people what the intention of a group or organization is. Or sometimes it is a report telling a group of operatives what they are supposed to accomplish on an assignment."

"What th' hell are you guys? Like Mission Impossible? What the fuck are the Shadows, an' why did they want me?" Ranma was very confused and when he got confused it made him angry. An angry Ranma Saotome was a bad thing. "Ya' said ya' had some answers. And I'd like ‘em soon, or do I have ta shake ‘em outta ya, ya' dope." Ranma clenched his fists so hard that his knuckles cracked and turned white.

Sunny grabbed Ranma around the neck. Ranma, startled, gave her a shove. "Get offa' me. Don't touch me! Why is everybody always grabbin' and pullin' on me?"

Ranma started to shake. He couldn't stand much more of people pushing and pulling him every which way.

Danny and Leela caught Sunny before she could fall on the floor. "Hey! Ranma cool off. Cox can be a pain, but he's a good guy." Sunny just patted their hands and turned back to Ranma.

"Ranma, you've got to calm down. I know that you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, but you need to watch what you're doing. I almost fell."

Ranma turned scarlet. He didn't understand what was happening to him. He couldn't seem to keep control of his feelings like he should. He knew that he wasn't the calmest person on earth, but he usually had good reason to lose his temper. This was just out of control and he didn't like it one bit. But he was a man and would act like one.

"Look! I don't understand what's happenin' ta me. I don't usually act like this. I told Steven earlier that I was brought up ta act like a man, be polite to my elders and not ta pick on girls. I'm not doin' too good so far. Sunny, I'm really sorry! Are you all right?" Ranma turned to Sunny and smiled hesitantly. "Please don't grab me without warnin'. It's not a good idea. I'm gettn' so I hate ta be touched. OK?"

Mr. Cox looked relieved. He really didn't want to have to deal with a boy called Wild Horse. Especially in a temper. His bio on the boy was unbelievable, but he was beginning to wonder if it wasn't as exaggerated as he had thought.

"Please, everybody, sit down. Sunny if you are sure you're all right, I'll start again." At Sunny's nod, he ‘eyeballed' everyone else into a seat. "We are a group of select individuals who have been chosen by fate, karma, destiny, or whatever you want to call it, to defend earth from what we call the Shadows. Of course they aren't really shadows. Most of what we do is control magic and magic users. Some from other dimensions. Magical objects are either natural or man (although I use that term loosely) made. Natural magical objects range from crystals to the Jusenkyo Springs. Man-made items can be anything. Rings, bracelets, swords, orbs, anything. Even slave collars" Everyone flinched.

"We know very little about the other dimensions. We just deal with their effect on earth as best we can. I believe that the Shadow Slavers didn't want you specifically. You were just unfortunate enough to get caught by surprise. You were lucky. They only had you for two days. Think what they could have done with more time."

Ranma digested the flood of information while Mr. Cox rambled on about dimensional shifts and a bunch of other stuff Ranma didn't understand. "Hey! Go back a bunch. You said they only had me for two days? Not by my count. It was at least a month. I was moved twice. The last bunch only had me for three days, but they weren't the worst. I think they were the end of the line. Point of final sale I think they said. The training place was . . . " Ranma shut up, pale and sweating. "I got nightmares. I never have nightmares." Ranma blurted out, lying through his teeth.

Mr. Cox realized that Ranma was in worse shape than they had thought. A month in the hands of slavers was a month in hell. He didn't like to contemplate what had happened to this kid in a month.

"Well. That is very bad news. I think that you were taken to a warp or loop in time. It repeats a very narrow period over and over. Effectively taking you out of the ‘real' stream of time. It allowed for more time for training but they are tricky at best and can do some pretty strange things.

"Here, why don't you put your head down on your desk for a . . . " Ranma jerked away from Mr. Cox's hand. "Don't touch me! I don't wanna' put my head down! I'll put you down! Stop touching me! They were always touching me. Here, boy! Sit, boy! Stand, boy! An' when I wouldn't they punished me. All I had ta do was look at ‘em and they turned that collar on. An' it went on and on and on. Sometimes for hours. I never knew how long it would be. And it was never the same. If I didn't sit when they told me sometimes the punishment would last for only a few minutes, other times, hours."

Ranma picked up the desk he had knocked over and threw it through the window. Then he just stood and shook. Shuba slipped out and ran.

Sunny and Danny slowly approached Ranma. "Ranma. Hey. Come on Buddy. It's all right. Here. Let Sunny touch you. She'll help." Danny reached out and gently stroked Ranma's shoulder, ready to back off if Ranma took exception.

"Oh. Ranma, I'm so sorry. I knew you needed more time. Steven would have you start this semester. He said you needed as normal a life as you could get. I would like to help you. Let me touch you. I ‘m a healer. I can't heal your wounded spirit, you have to do that yourself, but I can help you stop shaking."

Sunny reached out to Ranma.

Ranma looked at Sunny and Danny as if he had never seen them before.

"You still want to help me? I almost hurt you! Akane woulda' knocked me inta next week. I can't seem ta stop shakin'. I feel like a fool. This isn't me! I don't act like this! I can't seem to get a grip on myself. I'm creeping' ‘n crawling' around and then I go off like a . . . I don't know what. I'm so fucked up I could bust. And as for a normal life. What the hell is that?"

Ranma gritted his teeth and allowed Sunny to put her arms around his shaking body. It felt good, like no one could reach him inside of the bubble of golden warmth she radiated.

Shuba burst into Steven's office. "You better come quick. Ranma's off the wall. He really lost it. I don't know how you could have decided that he was safe. He . . . "

Shuba realized that he was talking to an empty room. Steven could really move quick for such a big guy.

"Damnit, Dorrie come on. I thought you said he wasn't a head case. He's tearing up the classroom." Steven slid around a corner in time to see a desk crash through the window. "He's not a head case. I would have known. We pushed every button he's got and he didn't do a thing. He reacted just as he should have." Dorrie took off after Steven.

They both burst into the classroom just in time to see Sunny hug Ranma and begin healing.

After several quiet minutes Ranma pulled gently away from Sunny and sat down in the middle of the floor. His shoulders drooped and he let his head hang, bangs hiding his eyes. "I'll get my . . . Well, I don't have any things to get. So I guess I'll just get out, as soon as you show me the way."

"Nuh-uh! Don't think so! You think that we'll just toss you away because you're having a hard time? I thought you liked it here." Steven slashed his hand through the air, shaking his head. "We miss-judged the extent of the damage they did you. That's our fault. I'm not letting you off Scot free, but I know there's a reason for this. I should have talked to you myself but I have been a little busy. My fault. I should have made more time for you. We need to have a private talk. Come on, let's go to my office and have some tea."

Steven gave Ranma a cup of chamomile tea and waited.

Ranma sipped the tea and thought. Finally he put the empty cup down. "What now? I really screwed up this time." Ranma mumbled, "I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't seem to find my center."

Steven handed Ranma a folder. "This is everything that we have been able to find out about you. I'd like you to read it and tell me how much of it is accurate. Our contact in Nerima is new to the network and I'm afraid she tends to exaggerate just a little."

Ranma took his time and read every word. Steven didn't stare at him, in fact he went so far as to do other work while he waited.

"Steven! I know exactly how you got most of this information. I hope Nabiki didn't put the screws to you too hard. She doesn't exaggerate at all. In fact I think that she may have left out a few things." Ranma blinked as Steven choked on a sip of tea. "You ok? You're supposeta drink it not breath it."

Steven coughed, wheezed and finally got his breath back. "Gah! Ranma how did you know the name of our informant in Nerima? It's not in the report."

"Well, the only one who knew some a' this stuff had ta be a member a' my family or a really close friend. Nabiki has an information service in Nerima. All th' gossip not fit ta print. She knows or can find out whatever ya wanna know . . . for a price! So, if it ain't Nabiki I'd like ta know who it is."

"OK. You really have, . . . what . . . three fiancees. And some of this training has got to be child abuse. Don't have a cow. I'm entitled to my opinion. You've got a big punishment coming and you don't need to make it worse." Ranma paled and looked down. "Hey! We've been through the punishment lecture. So stop flinching!"

Ranma doubled up in his chair as if he had been punched in the gut. "I can't! I can't! You don't know what they did t' me. I was there for a month and all they did was hurt me. They made me fight for their pleasure. When I refused they killed the guy right in front a' me. I can't seem t' find my center. All I could do was train t' fight and I hated it. I've never hated trainin' before. It's always been fun. My life has always been crazy, but now it's completely outta my control. I hate it! I just want it all t' stop. I wanna have . . . I don't know what I want. I useta know, but now I just feel lost. I'm so angry all the time. I don't get really angry that often, but now I feel like I'm on the edge a' goin' postal. I don't wanna' hurt someone by accident. I just want it all t' go away."

Steven clenched his teeth. "OK, Kiddo. I'll fess up if you will. I'll even start. You tell anyone outside of this room what I'm going to tell you and I'll be REALLY disappointed.

Steven drew a deep breath. "I was born a slave. My family were all slaves. The stable I was born into was one of the most respected gladiatorial stables in . . . well . . . a different dimension than this one. I was taught from earliest childhood to be manly and strong. To fight any enemy to the death. My first kill was my older brother. He stole food from my bowl and I killed him before I even knew who he was. I got extra rations the next day and started training to enter the arena within the next month. I was fifteen. I'd give you some more details but you'd just throw up. Most people do. So when I tell you I know what you are going through I'm not just polishing my sparkling personality.

"The things that they did to you were done to do exactly what they have. To confuse you and keep you off-center. It makes it easier to break a man's spirit. To crush his pride and sully his honor makes a better slave. Quite frankly I can't see you as the cowed type. I pushed every button you have and you didn't go off. I was looking for wild chi. It's what Wendy has. She can't get control of her energies. They control her and go wild. You have control of your energies. But you have lost control of your emotions. You need time to train right and meditate. You also need human contact. Contact that isn't painful or puts demands on you. And you are going to get it.

"As to all your fiancees and some of this other shit. We'll take care of it for you. Which one of your fiancees, if any, are you in love with? What was that? I can't hear you.

"Akane! Akane! I love Akane!" Ranma nearly shouted it. "Hey!! I said it. I really said it!" Ranma couldn't believe it. He'd really said it out loud. He felt funny. "I never said it out loud before. I always felt silly. It's not manly to have emotions n stuff. Pop's always tellin' me stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if he knows what he's talkin' about or if he's just blowin' smoke."

Steven ground his teeth. He would like to get his hands on Saotome Sr. and have a little talk with him. A talk involving a pointed object.

"Look, Kiddo, I'm going to give you some advice that no one gave me. It don't make a bit of difference what everyone else thinks is manly. It's what you think is manly that counts. The Samurai are a good example. The samurai trained extensively in swordsmanship, archery, horsemanship, flower arranging, painting and haiku, they were expected to know how to play Go, Shogi and at least one instrument. Call a samurai unmanly and he'd hand you your head in a basket. You got to make up your mind what you think of as manly or unmanly and act accordingly."

Ranma looked blank for a moment, then, "Flower . . . painting . . . Huh? I never heard any a' that stuff. Pop's always goin' on about bein' the best martial artist and bein' manly and stuff like that." Ranma decided to take a big chance. "Look I need t' go away. Be by myself for a while. I'd like t' do a bunch a' meditatin'; center myself. I'm outta control and I'm not used t' that. Everything I've ever trained in demands control. I need t' decide what I wanna be." Ranma held up his hand, "I told you I want t' be a bodyguard. Help people. I still wanna, but I'm no good t' myself or anybody else if I don't get myself together. Do something with all this anger and fear and everything I got bangin' around inside. I need a week t' myself. I know it'll put me behind in school, but I'm so far behind as it is that I don't see how another week can make or break me. What do ya say?"

Steven nodded, "It took me a lot longer to get myself in some kind of civilized condition. But I had a lifetime to get over, you've got a month. I won't insult you by saying only because any time you spend on a chain is forever. We've got some cottages up in the hills. I'll have you shown to one. We'll send you meals, check up on you and in general make it as easy as possible for you to do what you need to. Don't force it. Take as much time as you need. Don't feel like you have to be the ‘perfect' warrior, stuff like this takes time. As soon as you are ready we can find someone you trust to talk to." Ranma made a face. "No faces, it really helps. I still have a ‘friend' I talk to."

Ranma looked at Steven out of the corner of his eye. "Ask! Don't hold it in. You'll bust something."

"What did you hate the worst?!" Steven didn't even try to pretend he didn't understand. "That's a difficult thing. I hated having to kill men I didn't even know. Men who hadn't done anything to me. But what I really hated the worst was being dirty all the time. Sounds strange but sometimes it's the little things that really get to you."

"I hated trying to eat with my hands chained behind my back. They'd just throw the food on the floor. They called me dog." Ranma sighed. "You said I had a punishment coming? Let's get it over with."

"This time there isn't any punishment. I just said that to get you to let loose. You need to accept your feelings and deal with them. You have been taught that you are supposed to be ‘brave' and not show emotions. That's not good. You need to be in control of emotions. Especially anger. But crushing them down only leaves them to fester and show up in ways that aren't acceptable."

Ranma shook his head. "I threw a desk through a window."

"I threw a jeep through a building. I destroyed the entire old barracks building. And did a few other things. I spent about two years trying not to slug everyone who touched me unexpectedly. Want to keep up the comparisons? I'm sure I've got you beat on all counts. You're stronger that I am and you'll beat this. Not easily. Maybe not quickly, but you will. You just need time and peace. Plus, that contact in Nerima said plainly that you are capable of blasting the side out of a mountain. You have done very little damage compared to what you could. I think that shows a massive amount of self control. Go! Contemplate whatever it is you need to. We'll take care of things so you can do what you need."

"I need to write to Akane. Now that I know that I'm staying for sure. She's gonna kill me when she gets her hands on me. She's probably worried as all get out. Kuno was right about her. She's probably having fits. She always worries about me. Use t' make me feel embarrassed. But I think now that it's kinda nice. " Ranma looked Steven in the eye. "I need t' get away from everyone for a while. Where's that cottage?"