Ranma 1/2

Disclaimer: I don’t own Ranma, Rumiko Takahashi does. I just borrowed some of the characters. Rated: NC-17

Shades of Home

Chapter 13

Ranma picked up a pack basket at the supply depot and headed out. He'd packed this one himself and chosen freeze-dried rations and powdered juices. Eight day's worth. He also took a sleeping bag and tiny stove. If he didn't feel results in eight days that was going to be it. He also took a rather large survival knife.

It took him most of a day to get to the place he had chosen. You couldn't get into this valley except through a narrow pass; then it opened into one of the most beautiful places he'd ever seen. A nice place to work out his problems, get a grip on himself, and decide some things.

As he walked, he gathered wild food stuffs. He liked wild gathered things to supplement the dried rations. He also found some mushrooms called "Death's Angel" If he needed to he could brew a tea from them which would painlessly put him to sleep, forever.

Ranma found a small cave; a good place to stash his pack. He spread out his sleeping bag and went to sleep just as the sun was setting.

The sun rise was beautiful. Ranma had set his sleeping bag just right, he could see it from where he lay. His day had started.

After breakfast he prayed for the first time in a long time. A real prayer, not just the rote prayers that were expected of everyone at festivals and funerals, that kind of prayer did him no good.

"If there's really anyone up there. Please help me. I gotta' get in control of my emotions for the good of others. If I can't get control. Please help me to do what I must. But I really don't wanna' die. Thank You "

Ranma spent the next four days praying, meditating and examining his life. He didn't like what he remembered. He decided it didn't matter too much if what he remembered was real or not. It was his life as he knew it and that was what counted. It didn't matter what anyone had intended, what mattered was how he felt about it, how it had made him.

Ranma decided he was a real patsy. He let Pop haul him around the world searching for new techniques, he let Akane hurt him, he let a lot of things happen to him. Why? Because he was too easy going for his own good. Oh, he was stubborn when he wanted to be and he could fight like a dragon, but Ranma realized he was lazy just like Pop. He waited for things to happen instead of making them happen. If bad things happened, it was his own fault. At least he wasn't blaming all his problems on anyone else. If he'd stood up to his Pop and stuck it out he'd never have gone to Jusenkyo. Or gone to the agency. When he got that feeling in his gut he was listening from now on. Baka Ranma was dead.

{I can get myself under control. It's going to take more time than I've allowed, but I know that I can do it. I've gotten a handle on what I need t' do and I can do it. At least I know that I'm not gonna blow up. I can control that. All I need t' do is get my friends t' understand that there are just some things that they can't do just now or maybe not ever. I'm going home. Yeah ,Home to the Compound and Division 13. That's my place now. With Ryouga, Sunny, Leela, Shuba, Danny, Steven. My friends. My companions. My fellow solders. I feel so good.}

Ranma cried, he whooped, he ran just to feel the wind in his hair. He knew that the pain was still there and always would be, but he could cope with it now. He would talk to Ryouga and Steven. Sunny was a wonder, she would just accept him, as would the others. He wondered if Steven had gone through something like this and decided that everyone in a position like his had gone through something similar. He felt better that he had in years.

Ranma packed up his stuff and headed back to the Compound.

"Hhhhissssssst! Ranma! Come here, Son. I've come to rescue you."

Ranma turned to the bushes. Putting down his pack he stood in Easy Stance.

"Go 'way, Pop."

"Damn it, Boy, I came to rescue you. Don't tell me you're so weak that they've already brainwashed you. Sissy."

"No. I'm not brainwashed. You don't know what happened, so don't judge me. Go 'way. Or I'll make you."

Genma surged out of the bushes intent on getting Ranma into his hands.

"Don't touch me. I don't like it." Ranma slapped Genma's hand away.

Genma used the momentum of Ranma's slap to turn around and try a back handed strike. Ranma wasn't there. "Pop, give it up" Genma caught Ranma with a continuation kick to the head. Ranma rolled into a tree, ending wrapped half around it. "Ow! That hurt!" Ranma stood up and set himself. He wasn't playing around now. He meant business and bad business at that.

From a Horse stance Ranma punched Genma in the belly, 40 times. He decided to take it to whatever level Genma wanted but was starting out slow.

"Is that all you've got, boy? Weakling!"

Ranma used a dropping sweep kick to knock Genma off his feet. Genma tried to roll but Ranma drove his elbow into his chest. Genma felt a rib crack. Genma forced Ranma away, flinging him into the air. Ranma let himself fly into a tree, using the tree as a springboard he bounced back into Genma's face. Fist first.

"Gotcha!"

Genma staggered back, Ranma had never hit him that hard before. Genma launched an ariel attack but Ranma reached up and jerked him right out of the air.

"Not gonna' go there, Pop."

With a flip of this arm Ranma threw Genma into the trees, leaping after him, Ranma bounced from limb to limb until he saw Genma waiting for him in a small clearing. Genma just motioned Ranma on.

"Ok, Boy, if that's the way you want it to be, I'll take you home unconscious."

Genma threw a cross-arm punch from the shoulder.

"Listen to me. I'm stayin' here. Any more fightin' and you're gonna' get hurt. No more Mr. Nice Ranma. For the second time; Go 'way."

Ranma blocked with a double cross-forearm guard; rolling his arms down, he brought up a hand and grabbed for Genmas wrist.

"Damn, Ranma. I'm trying to free you. The least you could do is cooperate." Genma pulled back, yanking Ranma towards him.

"Free me? How free me? Free me to train till I drop? Work me till I can't see straight while you laze around in the shade?" Ranma punched Genma in the chest, driving him back. "Free me to watch you eat the best food while I get left overs. 'I need my strength so I can train you, boy'." Ranma got enough room to bring his feet into play, kicking Genma in the belly, diaphragm and chest; the kicks looked like one blow. "Ha! I need my strength to put up with you. Even when there's plenty you still steal mine. And I'm stupid enough to fall for it. You had a real PD on me." Genma staggered back, arms crossed across his chest. "Give it a rest! I'm over it! " Ranma felt something building within him. It felt . . . mad?

"Is that how you thank me for all the years I spent training you to be the best martial artist around? A man among men? You ungrateful pup. I can't . . . " Genma grabbed for Ranma again. "All I want to do is free you from the hateful bond of slavery" Genma tried coaxing. "Come now Ranma, m' boy. I made a simple mistake. I'm here to set it right."

"Yeah, a simple mistake. But you've sold me before haven't you. Seems to me it was for . . . correct me if I'm wrong . . . a fish, a bowl of rice, and two, count em, two pickles. Ya asshole!"

"Watch your mouth, boy." Genma was getting mad now. He didn't understand what was going on but he was taking Ranma back. Maybe then he could get off the hook with the police.

Ranma produced the survival knife holding it along his arm with the blade turned toward Genma. Holding the handle loosely with his index finger on the pommel, he waited.

"A weapon, boy? Against your own father? I only sold you so we could eat and I always got you back. What's the harm? Put that up!"

"Ok, I don't really need it but, you know, it gives me comfort. I like sharp things." Ranma's smile was cold. "Go away, Saotome, . . . for the third time."

"I'm not going without you. I'll get you deprogrammed. You don't really want to stay here . . . a slave . . . foolish boy you really want to be free." Genma smiled ingratiatingly. His smile faded quickly.

{Ranma felt the thing within him swelling. What was it?}

"Let me tell you somethin'. I'd rather be a slave here than free with you. Your freedom is only an excuse to do what ya want when ya want. Your morals are damn convenient. Ya have no more responsibility than a butterfly in the wind. These people establish rules and expect everyone t' obey all the time, not just when it's convenient. And they don't invent new rules just so they can justify doin' what they want t'."

"Listen up, Saotome"

Time slowed, Ranma went into overdrive; where he had all the time he needed to analyze everything and make decisions. {Where the hell did that come from? Useful. I'll remember how to do this.}

"I have no father. I am now an orphan."

Ranma felt the ball of power before he saw it. It was just there in his hand, red and harsh and ready.

"Aka Tora Tsume!!" The ball left his hand and hit Genma square in the chest exploding into a mass of shards.

BLAM! Genma hit a cliff face. As he struggled to pull himself from the stone grip of the cliff, Ranma swept over the dividing terrain like a storm.

"Saotome, get lost. I never wanna' see your stupid face again. Why don't you just turn yourself in? Maybe they'll have mercy on ya and shoot ya."

Genma dropped to his feet, finally dragging himself out of the rock. "Ranma, m' boy where did you learn that attack?"

"Damn it! Saotome. That's how good I am, I just made it up " Ranma pointed at Genma "Take a hint, The next one will probably kill you"

Ranma went into overdrive again. {Where DID that come from?} He was so furious that he could barely contain himself. But the fury was fading fast, as if it had been . . . drained . . . off? {Oh, boy. All that fury I have is an awesome weapon! And I'm in control of it.}

Ranma slowed down again. He slashed his hand to the side.

"I have no family. You're all dead t' me. All you've ever done is try t' use me; Mom against you, you against Mom and against the world. I was just an excuse for ya t' avoid responsibility. No job for you. 'Have t' train the boy.' No home t' keep up. 'Have t' travel t' train.' Bull Shit! No responsibility for Genma's what it was. Well, no more! I've got responsibilities and I take them seriously. So take a hike. I'm turnin' my back on ya. If ya hit me ever again, I'll kill ya."

Genma sneered, "Fancy speech, boy, but you can't kill me, you don't know how. You don't have the guts. You're too weak. You couldn't stomach . . . "

"Shut Up! I've already killed two men. They didn't do anythin' t' me and I killed 'em. What makes ya think I wouldn't have the guts t' kill you after all you've done t' me. It's your fault that I was in the arena in the first place."

Ranma turned around giving Genma his back for real. Looking over his shoulder he snarled "Next time I see ya. You're the enemy. Get it? As far as I'm concerned you'll have stepped out of the shadows."

Genma blinked. Somehow his son had been made to kill. And shadows? He turned and ran hoping Ranma wouldn't follow

Ranma symbolically dusted his hands saying, "Good riddance. I'm goin' home now. Bye, Ass-hole."

.

One of the guards looked up into the hills.

"Shit! Someone's in big trouble! See that cloud a' dust? Whoever it is is really runnin' all out and you know how the motor pool feels about abusin' the equipment. They'll ruin the suspension for sure."

His buddy looked, too, and as they watched, they both realized that it was a man running for real. On foot, but making about 20 miles an hour.

"Call the Head, damn it. I think it's that boy Ran somethin'. We'll have t' try t' stop him. Orders are orders, but I don't think that he's gonna pay much attention t' us."

Ranma stopped at the gate. The guy waiving him down looked scared to death.

"Hey, what's up? Can't I come in? I just came down off the mountain and I want to see Ryouga and Sunny. K?" Ranma dumped his pack on the ground "Here take care of this for me. I don't need it anymore. I think they want it back at the supply depot. Thanks!"

.

Sunny saw Ranma from her window. It was Saturday and no classes, so she had been just idly staring at the mountains wondering if Ranma was ever coming back. Running through the hall toward the gate she screamed, "Everybody, Ranma's back. Come on, he's at the gate"

The whole pack of them headed for the gate at a dead run.

Ryouga got there first of course.

"Hey, Ranma, I was gettin' worried. I was gonna come up t' get ya soon. All that talk had me afraid you really meant t' do . . . ah . . . what you said." Ryouga grabbed Ranma by the shoulders and shook him gently. "Don't do that again. 'k?"

Ranma looked at Ryouga, "Hey, Ryu, when did you ever know me t' joke about somethin' as serious as suicide? But I'm cool now. Don't worry, I got enough of a handle on it that I won't need t' do anythin' like that."

Sunny jumped on Ranma, hugging him around the neck. As Ranma started to wrap his arms around her, Ryouga grabbed his wrist.

"No, Ryu, I'm ok. I saw her and I was expectin' this. Hey, Sunny, how's it goin'? I missed the hell out a' ya."

Ranma looked at all his friends. They had gathered around him. They were touching him, patting his back and the girls were both hugging him.

"Let's go t' Steven's office I need t' talk t' ya all and he needs t' get in on it, too, so I don't wanna repeat myself." Ranma looked them all over." Hey, don't look so down. I'm glad t' see all of ya. Damn glad. "
.

Steven got them all in a small meeting room and had tea and snacks brought in, then he turned the proceedings over to Ranma.

"Ok, this is it. I need to set a few rules or someone is gonna' get hurt and it won't be me. I'm in pretty bad shape still; so here it is:

"Do not grab, smack, glomp or even touch me from behind unexpectedly.

"Do not wake me by touchin' me. Throw somethin' at me from the door. Somethin' soft, I hope.

"If I say run; you run, no arguments, no questions, just take off.

"Sunny, you're my doctor. No one else touches me when I'm sick or injured without your specific Ok. We'll do a check up soon, so you know me better, 'K? Ryouga is my shrink. I need t' work on some things. If he tells you t' do or not t' do somethin' he thinks will help, just go with it. Shuba, you, Danny and Leela are my friends, too, and I hope you'll put up with me being a head case until I can get it together and be the kind of friend you want."

At this point Shuba, Danny and Leela nodded their heads. Sunny was smiling so happily that her eyes seemed to glow. Ryouga looked a little worried, but nodded his agreement.

"Steven, I'm sorry t' put ya through so much shit, but I really need your help on a few things.

"First, I need t' take all those tests I managed t' either fake or get out of. Then I need ya t' get those papers I heard about. The ones that make me a mancipa . . . somethin' minor. I disowned Saotome. I don't have parents anymore and I don't intend t' put up with a couple a' strangers interferin' with my life.

"Also here, " Ranma took a small baggy out of his pocket. The bag contained several dried mushrooms. "I won't be needin' these."

"Wow, dried Moku . . . here I'll use them" Shuba reached for the bag. Then he jerked his hand back as if it was burned. "Damn it! What are you doing with Death's Angels?"

Sunny just looked at them for a moment and sighed. "Oh Ranma . . . no. You can't."

Ranma frowned, "Said I didn't need 'em. Don't you listen?"

Ryouga took the baggy and went to the door with it.

"Here get rid a' this. It's poison, so don't get any of it on your hands. And wash them after you burn this."

Ranma took a few moments to pour tea so everyone could calm down.

"I'm ok now. I know I'm not a danger t' anyone. Not really. Just as long as ya follow the rules, I'll be fine and I'm gonna' get better; so I don't need those any more."

Steven suddenly bent down then straightened up

"Sorry. You know you've got a knife in your legging. You'll need to give me that. If you feel uncomfortable without it, we've got problems."

Ranma looked startled, mumbling, "Sorry 'bout that." He looked a little shame faced "I forgot all about it."

Suddenly it was in his hand. No one, except Ryouga and, maybe, Steven even saw him draw it. It was just there. Big and sharp and shinny.

"You know I'm beginnin' t' like sharp things. They make me feel safer. I'll give it t' ya but I want it back when I leave the Compound."

Ranma pulled the sheath from his legging and sheathed the length of steel.

"Very nice, SP24 Survival. We just got them in. If you want to keep this specific knife, I'll lock it up here. But you can get one issued to you any time you need one."

Steven admired the knife as only a gladiator could.

"I've modified the grips t' fit my hand. I'd like t' keep that one."

Ranma felt a little uncomfortable without the knife. He wondered briefly, why, since he didn't use weapons as a general rule, but forgot about it when Sunny said softly, "Ranma, you wouldn't have hurt yourself, would you?"

She looked so unhappy that Ranma took her hand while he talked. He was also surprised when Leela cuddled up to him on the other side.

"Yeah I woulda'. I'm too good a martial artist t' be runnin' around losin' my temper over every little thing. I could destroy a city block without tryin' too hard. Ryouga knows how bad it could get. We pretty much destroyed a warehouse once. I won."

Ryouga grinned at Ranma and shook his head.

"I seem t' remember that it was pretty much a tie. But go on."

"I'm also pretty quick t' heal, so I'm not sure if I could do it with a knife. Besides, that's got t' hurt like crazy. So I was gonna' make some tea and just go t' sleep. But don't worry. I really don't wanna die. I like livin' a whole lot; so, now I'm sure I'm not gonna' go postal on someone, that's not an option I'm conciderin' anymore."

"Hey, Ryouga stop blubberin'. All you guys. I'm back and we'll work through this mess together. That is if you're willin'?"

Shuba stood up, "As coordinator for this strike group I feel I speak for all of us. We'll do whatever it takes, just like you'd do for us. Oh, and if you ever take off like that again we'll hunt you down like a dog and tie you up. Ya little shit! "

Everyone looked at Shuba, then Steven started to laugh. "I second the motion."

The whole group began to laugh and laugh. Ryouga fell down and Leela landed on top of him. Danny and Shuba had to hold onto each other. Ranma rolled on the floor, literally. Sunny tried to sit on a chair but missed it and landed beside Ranma. Steven sat on the edge of his desk and laughed till tears rolled down his cheeks.

.

Lots of you probably hated this chapter but it carries the story on.

I'd like to say that suicide is never an option. If it is that bad, get help. Go to someone, anyone you can trust and talk, scream, cry; whatever it takes. There is help out there, you just have to reach out for it.