Self-Evaluation

Doing things they don't care about? Check.
Not caring about the things they do? Check.

In love with parts of life that they ignore? Check.
Ignoring the parts of life that they love? Check.

Understanding things they are unable to? Check.
Unable to understand the things they do? Check.

Consuming the uselessness they think of? Check.
Consumed by the uselessness I think of? Check.

Gazing with cold and clear eyes at my life? Check.
Touched with coldness and clarity at the gaze? Check.

Holding life in the balance scales for now? Check.
Held in the balance scales of life for now? Check.

Understanding that death is still the end? Check.
Understood in the end of life as being death? No.

There are still things I must meditate and think on,
Still joyances that I suppose might lead me to life.

Still crying when I think of and write this? Check.
Not understanding the reason for the tears? Check.

Ending my life as the only viable option? Not yet.
Ended all consideration of this last option? Not yet.

Not yet.