I
do not wish
to be
without
my twin masters
fear and anger
they bring
logic, structure, function, control
without
them my world would collapse
without the one
the other would run rampant

under their instruction I
twist
with the bereft pain, the torment
their intimate knowledge of me
used to their own superior advantage

the pain hardens
a knot in my stomach
tangible and sweet
the only truth in the dark void
to it I cling as my heart wails

trembling slightly, quivering
the longing grows even as
the maestros beat it back with ever-increasing fury
screaming in rage, they ply their skill
I shiver
it grows
they shriek

© 2004, Antonia Balvanz