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I would like to tell you a secret. You are not the most beautiful girl I have met. You are not the most smart girl I have met. But, I feel like you are the most beautiful girl I have met. And, I feel like you are the most smart girl I have met. And sometimes, I think about you in the middle of the day and I imagine the different features of your face, when you are smiling at me, and at those moments I know that you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And when I am standing next to you at an art gallery, and you and I like the same painting, and I tell you what I like about it and you understand even though the words can't explain it - and your eyes and smile have that star's sparkle in them, which I feel is brought out just for me - I know that we are right for each other. So even though it's a secret that it is not true that you're the most beautiful woman I've met, when I tell you that you're the most beautiful woman in the world, I'm not lying. |
Copyright ©2017 Ashi Shadow - 3/25/17 on Addie.
Not perfect for how I wanted to write it, but close enough.
the first line gave me a bit of trouble because I also considered "I have a secret to tell you." and "I have a secret.", and I am not sure if I picked the right thing or should have picked something else.
I added "when you are smiling at me," afterwards to better express what I meant.
I considered "laughing" instead of "smiling at me".
Also considered "explain it, / your eyes..." , but I like having the dashes to set aside that line in the poem for the imagery.
I also considered "star in them" or "star-sparkle", and some other alternatives.
Added "and at those moments " at the end, not sure if I should keep that there or not.
The poem does have the word "and" too much, but I felt it was beneficial for the tone.