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There are days when I want to grab Katie's boyfriend by the collar and throttle him, telling him "You're not worth her!!!" Sometimes I think I'm devilishly handsome, other times mumpily horrid looking. But most of all, I want to feel like I'm worth something. It would be easier for me if women hadn't tap-danced on my heart with high heels. Some people think that I am lucky to have had so many women in my arms, but they are counting their chickens too early, the mulsh that was left behind wasn't always worth it. I remember the last time I saw Katie. In Hawaii. She was so close that I could have kissed her. She didn't want that,- but looked at me with that light in her eyes, Like things were in old times. Why did she have to be wearing a purple button down shirt with sharp-angled lapels? The woman I dated during my PhD did not wear high heels, She didn't shave her legs or wear makeup either. Why couldn't she have been right for me to marry? The waves crash in desperation, in and around my heart. Nothing is right. |
Copyright ©2011 Ashi Shadow --June 1st 2011, inspired by thinking of Academia and Loneliness (Academia Vignette) that I wrote on the same day.
Originally I considered it a failed poem (I did not write it the moment I thought of it but a few minutes later, so lost some of the continuity), but as I was writing it I tried to put things in the correct order and add back what was lost.
It is not the first time I've written the imagery of tap-dancing on my heart with high heels, a previously applied this imagery to Katie in another poem and email to someone.