SECRET HEART

I love her
and I laugh with her
and my heart is hers.
But inside my heart
is a second heart
a secret heart
and that heart belongs to you.
Because you made me promise
to never give my heart to another
and I never did.
Not even when you cheated on me.
I grew another heart on top of my heart.
Cheating doesn't always mean
sleeping with another.
There are other ways to not be loyal.
And I told you
that I didn't want to have to beg you
for you to treat me well.
But you didn't, even when I did beg.

I tell my heart,
my secret heart,
that you will never be back.
And it does not care.
It says that it's going
to keep on loving you.
And it says to me
"You don't get it.
You've got all these
things to worry about.
Like wanting kids,
wanting to do well in your career
and wanting the feel of a woman
in your arms.

But all I care about
is loving her."
Because my secret heart's job
it's ONLY job,
is loving you.

But I have a second secret.
My secret heart is only protected
from the outside.
It's not protected from the inside.
And if she loves me,
even if I cry too easily,
and even if I go on a tirade
when somebody insults my parents
And even if I want to
too many times a day,-
if she loves me through all of that,
then I will take my secret heart
and turn it inside out
and let her love it from the inside
where I am most vulnerable.
And then my secret heart
will belong to her, too.