THE NIGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME

As I fell beneath the night and cried
my knees on the grass
my soul on the floor
my arms around myself
and my tears on my cheeks.

Your words in my ears
my screams in my head
my shaking in denial
and my wishes for "insteads."

If only you said you loved me
instead of that you didn't,
if only you had kissed me,
instead of that you didn't,
if only you wanted to marry me,
instead of that you didn't.

Why must there be this barrier,
between my fantasy and reality.

If only I could have my insteads,
instead of that you didn't.

Copyright Š2006 Ashi Shadow 5/13/06 on Katie
Fictional, inspired by:
http://www.lovepoetry.com/poems/random_featured10.asp
(A poem about someone where she loves him, but never says it, but he sees it in her eyes, so he cries and the sky cries, and every time later that he sees the sky cry, it reminds him of her talkative eyes.
I tried to write a beginning (below), but I think the beginning makes it worse, because it changes the tone (and then messes up the later tone as a result).

The stars didn't seem to understand,
the moon didn't seem to care,
but beneath the stars and beneath the moon,
my soul was dying beneath your care.

The night you denied you loved me
was the night I decided I'd died.
The night you denied you loved me
I could not accept your lie.

As I fell beneath the night and cried
my knees on the grass
my soul on the floor
my arms around myself
and my tears on my cheeks.

Your words in my ears
my screams in my head
my shaking in denial
and my wishes for "insteads."

If only you said you loved me
instead of that you didn't,
if only you had kissed me,
instead of that you didn't,
if only you wanted to marry me,
instead of that you didn't.

Why must there be this barrier,
between my fantasy and reality.

If only I could have my insteads,
instead of that you didn't.