| I smile, though
The cold wind blows, as a girl who loves me walks away, - as the flower in my hand, slowly loses its petals to the cold, ..- As I lose myself, to the frost, that encompasses me, - outside your front door. Though I will not mourn myself, nor my decisions, because I will not falter, and I will not fall, upon the threshold of truelove. |
10/21/04 On being at Katie's doorstep in the snow, as the snow wind blows, and as Chun-yi walks away because I won't... stop loving Katie. And as I watch her walk away, from my life - from the life I could have had, could have had married to an applied math double PhD (w/ Quantum/Computational Chemistry) who's wonderful... my heart tugs a little bit, because I really don't want to be alone, and I want to be with somebody I love - while Katie's left me... but... I'm... not... I love Katie most. I don't want to be with anyone else. *stares at his feet* So I'll wait in the snow, and I'll wait until my flower for her dies from the cold, and I'll wait until I die from it too, because I don't want to be with anyone else...
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10/21/04 I spoke with Wei-wen today, Chun-yi's good (best?) friend here, and... I spoke about how I'm having a hard time letting go of Chun-yi when she's so sad and when I still miss her, and about how I want to get her back. But as much as I want to.... I... almost went to beg her to take me back, because I don't want to break up with her- because it hurts, and I still like her, and I still want to be with her now. But as much as it breaks my heart, I'm not going to do that- because at the end of the day, I still want to be with Katie. So that's what I'm going to wait for, while I'm alone.