WHAT I NEED'S YOU HERE NOW

Running through the clouds of Valhalla
I'm still living in Oblivion in my mind.
What good is it being kept alive here in Heaven,
if in the end of it all you're not mine.

It's an empty existence
with running in circles
against a ne'erending clock.
It's a race with no winners,
without worthy endeavors,
and no dismotivation to stop.

But here I keep running
'cause I've got to do something
'lest I go crazy inside.
And I hold onto hope
and cling to old rotes
in hopes that they'll all re-come true.

But what I need's you here now
with a smile and your arms
and I need to feel the warmth of your skin,
so that with your skin against mine
and the feel of your lips,
I'll know that you still exist.
Copyright ©2003 Ashi Shadow
11/7/03 on Katie (she's on her visit to Grinnell in Iowa incidentally, but that's not related, it's just the fact that I wish she were here. So the clouds of Valhalla are the cloudy haze that blankets my life as I feel like this isn't what I should be doing but it's Valhalla because I know being at Northwestern is an amazing opportunity for me. The Oblivion in my mind is how it all feels fruitless without her. As well as the next stuff, all this work is worthless and seems like I might as well stop. But I just keep holding on to hope that I'll end up with her and be happy even though it feels like she won't really want me because how could she? The rote is a bit of a misuse of the word, I'm really just referring to memories. And the rest is all literal:)