Use the third letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:
> > a = stinky
>
> b = lumpy
>
> c = buttercup
>
> d = gidget
>
> e = crusty
>
> f = greasy
> > g = fluffy
>
> > h = cheeseball
>
> > i = chim-chim
>
> > j = poopsie
>
> > k = flunky
>
> > l = booger
>
> > m = pinky
>
> > n = zippy
>
> > o = goober
>
> > p = doofus
>
> > q = slimy
>
> > r = loopy
>
> > s = snotty
>
> > t = falafel
>
> > u = dorkey
>
> > v = squeezit
>
> > w = oprah
>
> > x = skipper
>
> > y = dinky
>
> > z = zsa-zsa
>
> >
>
> > Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:
>
> > a = diaper
>
> > b = toilet
>
> > c = giggle
>
> > d = bubble
>
> > e = girdle
>
> > f = barf
>
> > g = lizard
>
> > h = waffle
>
> > i = cootie
>
> > j = monkey
>
> > k = potty
>
> > l = liver
>
> > m = banana
>
> > n = rhino
>
> > o = burger
>
> > p = hamster
>
> > q = toad
>
> > r = gizzard
>
> > s = pizza
>
> > t = gerbil
>
> > u = chicken
>
> > v = pickle
>
> > w = chuckle
>
> > x = tofu
>
> > y = gorilla
>
> > z = stinker
>
>
>
> > Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:
>
> >
>
> > a = head
>
> > b = mouth
>
> > c = face
>
> > d = nose
>
> > e = tush
>
> > f = breath
>
> > g = pants
>
> > h = shorts
>
> > i = lips
>
> > j = honker
>
> > k = butt
>
> > l = brain
>
> > m = tushie
>
> > n = chunks
>
> > o = hiney
>
> > p = biscuits
>
> > q = toes
>
> > r = buns
>
> > s = fanny
>
> > t = sniffer
>
> > u = sprinkles
>
> > v = kisser
>
> > w = squirt
>
> > x = humperdinck
>
> > y = brains
>
> > z = juice
>
> >
>
> > Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
>
