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Goran Simic - Plays
THE LONELY
GOALKEEPER
performed by Cahoots Theatre,
Toronto 2005
Characters:
Goalkeeper
Stranger
Flat ball
IN A BURNT OUT, WAR-SCARRED VILLAGE IN THE
MOUNTAINS A MAN ON CRUTCHES, PLAYS WITH A DEFLATED BALL IN A
SOCCER FIELD. HE IS WEARING A JERSEY FULL OF HOLES WITH
NUMBER 1 ON ITS BACK. THE FIELD IS FILLED WITH GRAVES, AND
EACH IS MARKED WITH A WOODEN CROSS OVER WHICH A SOCCER
JERSEY IS DRAPED. A STRANGER APPROACHES.
GOALKEEPER
If you are looking for someone or something
valuable, don't come in here. There's is nothing left in the
Left Village. Just ruins and crows. And minefields.
STRANGER
There is my Grandpa's house.
GOALKEEPER
There is nothing there, I told you. Nobody lives
there, just crows. Don't you smell the stench? Some idiot
who didn't read the sign that said minefield is now
decomposing. Where are you coming from, you dummy?
STRANGER
Far from here, from Canada, you're the dummy. I
was wondering if there's somebody left in the villageÉI can
see Grandpa's old stone house. He's dying now and asked me
to bring something back from the house, after he left.
GOALKEEPER
You must be living in a Canadian desert if nobody
but me told you. There's nobody living in the Left Village.
There are no photos, there isn't a picture worth seeing.
Better keep your pictures from your memory and take off!
THE GOALKEEPER KICKS THE FLATTENED BALL TO THE
STRANGER
STRANGER
Whenever I came here, nobody ever told me the
same village has two names, Left and Right.
GOALKEEPER
That's Left, we're Right. I told you, nobody's
there. Give me back my ball.
STRANGER
Are you the only one living here?
GOALKEEPER
Not your problem. Just give me my ball back and
run down the hill. To your Canada.
STRANGER
If you try being friendlier maybe you wouldn't be
so lonely here, among the graves.
GOALKEEPER
I'm not lonely. I have my graves. A whole team.
STRANGER
(HOLDING THE FLATTENED BALL) You should have a
better ball. At least one of your legs deserves it. Somebody
slit it with a knife, I see.
GOALKEEPER
I did it myself.
STRANGER
Ball killer?
GOALKEEPER
Want to know why? I can't run down the hill every
time the ball jumps over the fence. One leg runs, the other
leg doesn't. You don't know anything about it!
THE STRANGER THROWS THE BALL BACK TO THE
GOALKEEPER AND LOOKS AROUND.
STRANGER
This isn't a soccer field, it's just a graveyard
field with posts at the end. Don't tell me you play soccer
with the crosses ?
GOALKEEPER
None of your business.
STRANGER
You must be sick. You must always win against
the Cross team. Do they play dirty? Do they attack your
crutches?.
GOALKEEPER
No, they just play defence .
STRANGER
Defending themselves from you.
GOALKEEPER
No, defending themselves from you, and people
like you.
GOALKEEPER THROWS THE BALL TO THE STRANGER
STRANGER
Why from me? I just want to take home a piece of
my grandpa's past. And that's allÉ
GOALKEEPER
That's what I'm talking about. You came just to
take a piece of the past and the next minute you'll be out
of here with a souvenir. What about the past?
STRANGER
Get lost, you sick-o. I'm not buying your past.
My dying grandpa has a need to die with his soccer jersey
and that's all.
HE THROWS THE BALL TO THE GOALKEEPER
GOALKEEPER
You really look like your grandpa.
STRANGER
Did you know him ?
GOALKEEPER
He knew everything about soccer but nothing about
the players
KICKS THE BALL TO THE STRANGER
STRANGER
Consider yourself lucky that I don't fight with
cripples. I'll find the way to his house by myself É. Why am
I wasting my time?
GOALKEEPER
I don't know why. Before you keep asking, kindly
give me back my ball. I have to tell you that I'm the only
keeper of the jerseys. Your grandpa's jersey is right here
on the soccer field.
STRANGER
Are you kidding me? I can't believe it! You put
his jersey on a wooden crossÉ What number?
GOALKEEPER
There are no numbers. People get to die like
numbers so there are no names, The soccer field always stays
the same. Only 22 players, and that's the only number I care
for. I am a keeper of memories but also the keeper of shame.
STRANGER THROWS THE BALL BACK TO GOALKEEPER
STRANGER
My grandpa is still alive, but it seems already
buried.
GOALKEEPER
Goodbye.. goodbyeÉOne more thing. When you go to
the village don't forget there's a minefield on the left
side of the road and also to the right side of the road.
STRANGER
(LEAVING) Then I'm going straight.
GOALKEEPER
Yes, just go straight and you will reach nothing.
STRANGER
Yes, I already heard thatÉ There is no Left
Village
LEAVING AND WAVING TO GOALKEEPER
GOALKEEPER
There's no village there at all. Just stones.
STRANGER
I am going to see it for myself!
GOALKEEPER
There is no village. We burned it down to the
ground.
STRANGER
How do you mean, you burned it? Why?
GOALKEEPER
Because they burned down our houses first.
STRANGER
Just like that?
GOALKEEPER
Just like that? Not just like that. Your
grandpa's team left in the middle of the Sunday game we'd
been playing for twenty years. Some referee from the other
village screwed up somethingÉ A bad referee. And that's how
it started. That night they came with torches, and with
flags. Different flags then usual. Bad flags.
STRANGER
What kind of a flag did you have when you went
there for revenge. Soccer flags? Peace flags?
GOALKEEPER
Different flags.
GOALKEEPER THROWS THE FLAT BALL TO A STRANGER
STRANGER
How much different?
GOALKEEPER
Different colour. We repainted our soccer flags
overnight.
STRANGER
It happened just because they left. Left
Villagers. End of story?
GOALKEEPER
But they're coming back.
THE STRANGER THROWS THE BALL TO THE GOALKEEPER
STRANGER
What do you mean, coming back?
GOALKEEPER
Yes, they are. Because of the memories and a
shame. Look at that jersey next to the goal post. The left
goal. It was your grandpa's teammate. He was buried here
last year. His son brought his coffin all the way from
Australia. Next to him is the grave of our famous left
winger. His grandson could barely speak our language but he
respected his grandpa's will to be burred here. All the way
from Africa, can you believe it? And the next grave isÉ
STRANGER
What are you telling me?
GOALKEEPER
É is the grave of your grandpa's best friendÉwhat
a great player on defence, he came from Alaska and I could
even smell the snow on his coffin when we buried himÉ
They're coming back.
STRANGER
Just to be buried here, in this soccer field in
the middle of nowhereÉ
GOALKEEPER THROWS THE BALL TO THE STRANGER
GOALKEEPER
Yes, they are coming back.
STRANGER
Because of memories?
GOALKEEPER
And the shame. I already told you, you know
nothing about that. You came to get just a little piece of
the past and get rid of it as soon as you go.
STRANGER
But who are you?
GOALKEEPER
Just a goalkeeper. Some people are born with two
legs ready to play but some people are born to watch. I am
safeguarding both of the goals from people like you who come
here with the question "Why" and then leave with the same
questionÉ. It's getting dark. You should go now.
STRANGER
Yes, it's much easier to go down the hill than to
walk up the hill.
GOALKEEPER
Did your grandpa ask to be buried here?
STRANGER
Something like that.
THROWS THE BALL TO THE GOALKEEPER. HE BEGINS TO
WALK SLOWLY AWAY.
GOALKEEPER
Wouldn't it be much easier to just take him his
jersey?
STRANGER
Whatever.
GOALKEEPER
Have you learned anything about shame?
STRANGER
(FROM A DISTANCE) Not much.
GOALKEEPER
Then there's one wooden cross for you to come
back to.
STRANGER
(ALREADY AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL) Noooo way, I
never play on your team.
GOALKEEPER
But the whole time you played soccer with me. And
I am the goalkeeperÉ see you soonÉ.
IN THE DARK THE GOALKEEPER IS LAUGHING.
THE END
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