jj jackman and the Truth will set you free - index
ciao cherida 6 (confidence) 1/06-11/2006 i failed you in a moment where failure had no place to be but in my passive presence while i rubbed your ailing unspecified appendage my confidence it will return my confidence in self that is! and this i truly hope as well true confidence betwixt two souls this confidence it will return not audible but self contained no torture e’er will make me speak of words that we have shared nobility did rise in me i placed a two foot buffer around you nothing could harm nothing could betray nothing could distract and then you listened… sauf le Fils de Dieu my friends are numbered as the space between my thumb and forefinger 8 It is better to trust in the LORD* than to put confidence in man. 9 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes. that was my error, i really had nothing to say i was stalling in desperation i was asking time to reproduce itself eternally at that, and in that particular moment and you seemed still attentive and we exchanged from deeper levels i place thirty-seven thornless white roses in your ebony forearms your tightly weaved blondescent dredlocks intertwine gently amidst the dimpled long green stems drops of blood drip through my hair cascading down my forehead and upon one tight bud after another you are innocent, you are pure it was love at first sight, i felt worthy in this unity prolific tiny coleus fronds nurtured on psilocybin in reduced and contorted shapes expressing purple powder ecstatic''ly singing though i know my tone deficient defining pain in stark ignorance engendering difference by infusion osmosis and capillary distraction mold my xylem to my phloem batrachosperma** so fragile prior to the dam’s crest like a skeletal algae in gel form melt is my hands like thin less massive frog’s eggs scented like slight slime and clean November mist i need to retract my overwhelming energy and hide in a corner of silence giggling with you inaudibly i can no longer retain my identity and prostrate myself to the throne of your response fading as echoes my knitted black and purple yarmulke fell at your feet at my last oblation the king sent forth an edict: "he in my kingdom that fits this yarn skullcap be worthy of my heiress!" you, enticing and repelling me concomitantly i, gushing as an ash stained city fountain you, retracting shoulders shrugging omni directionally i, frantically fumbling and frolicking fluently in your freshness you, insisting on showing me unnecessary vistas i, confirming the need to gaze in each other's eyes you, silencing my verse and insisting on displaying your own talent, disdaining the purity of my intention in defense where no defense was needed i, yearning to yield to those deeper private scents you, hiding as Eve behind the frond of first impressions i, loving you before the impression or the impression would have been invalid just as the truthfulness of poetry proceeds the script i betrayed you blatantly, our tiny seedling session was a microcosm of all our future moments unveiling yourself as a Monarch from its stiff green peapod fragile, still wet from inner shell with syrup like stickiness on your wings "don’t touch" you screamed so faintly i tried to shake you from my digit upon adhesion i looked you in the eyes and promised this would never happen again you shook, you flapped you side fluttered, you dipped down i promised to meet you at the airport i was early at eight, confused about Atlanta seven wasn't even early enough i remorsed, you finally flew away my confidence it will return my confidence in self that is! and this i truly hope as well true confidence betwixt two souls this confidence it will return not audible but self contained and needing but one object i failed you in a moment where failure had no place to be but in my passive presence i clutched that small white garment and took a feeble breath and then i knew for certain this love was not for this sad place for now i say goodbye my dear ciao cherida! with hope sustained from deep within or ne’er our eyes shall ever meet and be you an imposter not one second there to dwell (for there our eyes shall twain) where faith and love have power no need for eight more syllables, save, i’ll see you in forever then, true confidence returned to me, i'll hope to you as well i remembered what He said a confidence not just for me but anyone i hope you'll see now confidence once self contained and once a silent whisper hush just shared between two confidants shall climb in volume and be shared so clear to ring from coast to coast so loud to reach the deafened ear with anyone who thus can dream or wish or hope for something lacking here!*Psalm 118: 8-9 **batrachosperma = a species of red algae, mainly marine, but some freshwater forms, not always red www.microscopy-uk.org.uk