jj jackman You appeared to me in leaves - index
You appeared to me in leaves (09/29/99) You appeared to me in leaves i recognized Your face don’t You think i know what You look like no member of a long haired Teutonic race “and but in drunken rage he grieves” i hear You mocking me within myself i don’t believe that lie i know You loved her much more than i did perhaps another time a better try i didn’t have Your mission on my mind i simply need my wife i need her close to me, i need her by my side i know Your love extended past a women’s touch but my days pass in endless strife why won’t You answer me You know i tried as hard as i could You know i gave You everything i had i watched them give You yard sale shit and now You won’t even answer me You know that i am ill and sick i call for help i get no answer still and i watch as friends fall at my side and still You have nothing to say You appeared to me in leaves i recognized Your face You were marred beyond recognition You lacked all comeliness of appearance don’t You think i know what You look like no member of a long haired Teutonic race despised and rejected just like me they hate me too without a cause poets vent and then they pause their minds revolve, a frantic pace no answers-no answers-no answers-no answers sometimes i think You are an intergalactic playwright and You condescend down here just to get new material to observe my plight and that of others bound in gravity bound in gravity bound in gravity You know i’ll be here when You come back to get more information for another scene You don’t respond to my requests You simply absorb material and leave no answers-no answers-no answers-no answers what is an “an swer”? is it simply a shortened form of “and i will swear” so will You swear to it? or have You sworn to it already to my ignorance my pressing present needs have no impact my pressing present needs don’t move You You have already “an sworn” my “pre-questions” before i was born! You know i needed to be with her “and but in drunken rage he grieves” i don’t believe that lie i know You love her much more than do i perhaps another time a better try You appeared to me in leaves but veg’table and space (i suggested an answer as i wrote this poem) don’t You think i know what You look like no member of a long haired Teutonic race sometimes i see You hanging in my place. You appeared to me in leaves i recognized Your face