jj jackman You appeared to me in leaves - index
blank - enium (12/15/99) you know i’m really thinking that we really haven’t gotten anywhere i mean let’s face it were they lying to me in high school i can’t say the word it has kinda saturated the air you know well it’s more than trite let’s face it - it’s worn out how ‘bout it - if we refer to it as the blank - enium be thankful my name isn’t Bill let’s go on you know they (you know the group you blame for everything) you know them, right! you know they'd indoctrinated me they told me that the world was billions of years old now i did a little math not to exaggerate let’s say this slab of 103 elements plus or minus an unstable twenty or thirty you see i’m being scientific now with that plus or minus stuff this slab is roughly 100 billion years old now that’s a conservative estimate - isn’t it i didn’t opt for controvery i didn’t say twenty trillion years as would have greater scholars than my meagre undegreed self and with supporting evidence i might add though i’ve been through several degrees myself and in this way i can relate to the earth’s aged core still bubbling after all these years if i had written this poem twenty years ago i could have sued Paul Simon for alluring to my style still bubbling after all these years i’m leaving, i’m drifting from the pith you know i still resent the teacher that taught me that word i thought he was too uppity to say pit but i found out later that he didn’t invent that word well back to the my pit, i mean the pith, i mean my point so taking my conservative 100 billion divided by an unknown number of blank - enia now i hope i haven’t lost you here remember Caesar Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres so we have one blank - enium two blank -enia three blank -enia etc and don’t forget the Jurassic period the one they named the park after you know Brontasaurus, Alle, Stege & Mege this period, using our latin grammar had forty blank -enia now with a combined high school learning skill packet of Math, Latin & Science gelatinized like canned fruit in my own English Grammar i’m ready for my final deduction and the conservative number of earth’s total blank -enia the preponderance passing without any fanfare at all the answer please 100 million blank enia making this a relatively ordinary event now really how many other events can you think of that are this commonplace we might as well have a celebration for every thousand seconds i’m glad they taught me well see how skillfully i figured that out but why is everybody getting so hyped up about this mundane event! i can’t figure it can you! so if you think that’s crazy catch this some fool comes up to me the other day telling me the world was only six thousand years old i said do you mind if i call you Rip, Mr Van Winkle, no, he said but the name is Pastor Billybob i said is that Pastor Bob and your first name is Bill or is it Pastor Billybob that’s right he said Pastor Billybob then he went on to say you know, son, don’t you hate it when people call you son you know, son, just four hundred short years ago you were standing on pristine wilderness surrounded by savages you oughta go home and read Job 40 and verses 15 16 & 17 later, of course, i was too well educated to admit it in front of him and i was also quite intimidated as he departed in a brush gold Lexus if i had one, also, we would have both driven away in Lexi remember Julius again Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres so we have one brush gold Lexus two brush gold Lexi three brush gold Lexi however i reflected as i drove away in my multidented trusty rustypatch dusted emerald green Sundance you’ve got to pump the brakes on a rainy day that he had a point what if this world was only six thousand years old what if those Chinese dragons were only recent memories what if Beowulf staring it in the eye actually broke off the short front arm of a Tyrannosaurus Rex sending it howling in fear back to the nearby marsh and Pastor Billybob said to read Job 40: 15-17 (maybe that’s why i don’t have a Lexus) the interlinear Bible (Hebrew English) Volume One page oh there it is hmmm page 1378 forty - fif 15 now behold Behemoth which i made along with you (i thought we evolved!) he eats grass like a ox; oh i see now the neck got shorter the temperature decreased and the animal got smaller i get it now, yup 16 see, now his strength is in his loins, and his force in the muscles of his belly; 17 he hangs his tail like a cedar (hmmm a cedar tree sized tail) this is a large tail what if Job’s eye witness account of the large animal wasn’t just a tale: nah, that dude must of been doing some pretty heavy weed alright so there might have only been six blank-enia alright so it’s an important relatively rare occasion so if your a mountain climber i’m wishing you a bumpy hillenium if pickles are you’re fancy here’s to you! a salty dillenium for the anarchist here’s wishing you the bleakest nilenium for the pharmacist good years ahead a spectacular pillenium and for those of you that don’t give a hoot about this event i’ll see you in the next untill thennium alright celebrate! i’m sorry for placing a wet blanket over the festivities