Interlude One
Oh Yeah

     I was born on June 11, 1970, to Mr. and Mrs. [parents].  The Mrs. of the couple was originally named [my mother].  I think my mother and father loved each other very much, but they did not have a very happy marriage (or at least not as far as I could see).  I don’t subscribe to the point of view that their problems are any of my business, and I don’t intend to talk about the things they told me about each other.  I could write another book for that.  For reasons that had very little to do with me they divorced when I was six years old.  They fought constantly over, among other things, custody of their only child.  I was an unhappy young boy.
     I spent a lot of time with all of my grandparents when I was little.  Dad’s parents were named John Samuel and Wilma Brown.  Mom's parents were Kenneth Earl and Irene (no relation to Wilma).  They all showed me a lot of love.
     I found John Samuel dead one early morning in 1976.  He was always awake by the time I got up and made my bed.  That morning when I got to the living room he was nowhere to be seen. I went to his bedroom and found him sitting up in a chair by his bed.  He wasn’t moving.  I thought he was asleep.  He had oxygen tubes coming out of his nose, but I didn’t know what that was all about.  It was the day after Thanksgiving.  He had heart failure in the middle of the night.  He was very kind to me.  For years after that I still searched crowds for his face.  I missed him and I wanted to see him again.
     A leather easy chair sat in front of the television in the living room.  My grandfather Day always sat in it.  I would sneak up on him when he was in it.  After he died if I approached the chair from the back I got the most intense feeling he was sitting in it, that if I walked around to the front of it I would see him smiling at me.  The chair was haunted by his ghost, as was the rest of the house.
     My grandmother Wilma became even meaner and crazier than she had been before he died.  I heard she poisoned him.  Wilma was filled with hate for everyone in the world but my father and I, and sometimes she hated us too.  My grandmother and I were very close (at least one of my parents gave her babysitting duties).  In a lot of ways that hurt me.  I picked up a habit of losing my temper and speaking ill of people.  Those were two of her most distinctive traits.
     The custody battle between my parents did wonders for my feeling of self worth.  I didn’t know what to tell the crazy people in my family when they asked me whom I loved the most.  The answer was I didn’t love anyone the most.  None of them wanted to hear that.  I remember both my mother and my father weeping because they couldn’t understand how I could want to be with the other one.  I wound up living with both of them at different times.  I went to five schools before the eighth grade as a result of hopping between residences and joining the gifted and talented program.
     Both my mother and father remarried.  My mom got married to a strict, religious man named [my buddy].  Her marriage has lasted more than twenty years and still goes on.  He had a daughter named Victoria Lynn, who I love as though she were my real sister.  My father married a woman named Beth Smith.  They had a child named Brendan, but their marriage didn’t last.
     I couldn’t stand either one of my stepparents when I was young.  My stepfather was a disciplinarian.  My stepmother was the wicked witch of the west.  When I got older the motives behind their actions didn’t seem so wrong anymore.  I lost the ability to hate them.  I realized that most of the things that [my buddy] had done he did out of love.  Beth married my father, a man who was incredibly difficult to get along with.  Of course I still think she married him out of greed.
     My father had a son by his first wife.  Her name was Harriet.  The child’s name was Warren.  I never knew him until my father died.  The circumstances under which I came to know him couldn’t have been more difficult.  Louisiana had a law called forced-heirship.  Since my father died without a will the law dictated that his estate had to be divided equally between his heirs.  Warren really wanted a place to live.  When the succession was settled he had legal ownership in one of the houses.  I couldn’t deny his right to move in.  I thought I didn’t like him, but that was because I didn’t even know him.  After he moved into my father’s house I stayed away from him for about a year.  Then we spent some time together.  When we began smoking weed together we became friends.  He has his share of problems, like everyone else, but he isn’t a bad person.  He did a lot of things to help Susan and I.  He and I partied together a lot, but that’s not why I like him.  I like him because he’s my brother.
     When I was eight years old my grandmother Wilma moved from Sherwood Forest to Highland Road, on the south side of L.S.U.  There was an extensive tract of swamp, marsh and woods behind the house.  The whole area is inside the city limits, but because of the flooding it was never developed.  I hunted squirrel in those woods on a regular basis.  Staying in the house influenced my life greatly, precisely because I used it as a base of operations for numerous successful hunts.  If I had not been able to do that I would never have developed a predator mentality, and many other things would have happened differently.
     I got a small dog named Bojangles when I was four years old.  Bo was my only friend when my parents were still together and we lived downtown.  He was only about ten inches high, but he would never bow down before another dog.  I loved my dog, and he loved me.  Often I was the only person he would come for.  He roamed free downtown until Wilma got her house on Highland Road.  Then my dad decided he would be better off where he could run around in the woods.  We were worried the dogcatcher might get him downtown, and we refused to limit his freedom.  So he lived a happy life on the south side of campus.
     One day Wilma and I were down in the woods hunting when a large German shepherd came charging out of the brush straight at me, snarling and snapping.  Wilma shot its hindquarters with the shotgun she was carrying.  A few seconds later the neighbor from two doors down came running up.  Neither one of us had recognized it as his dog, but I doubt it would have made any difference to Wilma if she had.  He had five or six dogs.  He was nineteen years old and still lived in the house with his mother.  He was very angry with my grandmother.  They argued.  She threatened to shoot him too.  The dog survived, but the damage had been done.
     Bojangles disappeared.  A few days later I was sitting on my bed when my dad came in to tell me something. “My dog is dead, isn’t he?” I asked him.
     “Yes, son, I’m sorry.  Somebody shot him,” he said as he gave me a very sad look.
     I wept for hours.  I could not be comforted.  Bo had been my best friend, my only friend, for nearly ten years.  When the sorrow passed I was filled with nothing but a cold, calculating hatred.  As great as my love was for Bojangles so was my hatred for the person who had killed him.  There was never any question in my mind that I had to avenge the death of my dog.  I had done absolutely nothing to deserve the pain that had been inflicted on me.  My dog had been killed out of retaliation for something my grandmother had done, and that dog hadn’t even died.  I would be damned if I would let that slide.  I was not the average twelve-year-old.
     I slipped into a laboratory in the L.S.U. Life Sciences Building and stole a whole bottle full of strychnine.  I secretly thawed a package of ground meat I found in Wilma’s freezer.  Then I made six lethal meatballs.  I went two doors down at dawn and fed each of the dogs their poison surprise.  They all died.  Maybe I should feel some remorse for what I did, but I don’t.  The Bible says “an eye for an eye,” but I don’t see it that way.  If you kill my best friend, even a dog, then six of yours have to go.  If someone had killed one of my loved ones I would have blown up their car, burned down their house and cut their fucking heart out in front of their family.  It is good that no one ever killed one of my loved ones.  I was not an average boy.  I would have done the deed and waited for the police to arrive.  I am a gangster when it comes to love.

Chapter Three

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