Chapter Six: ... Gimli
~*~* The
Stats ~*~*
Name?: Gimli, son of Glóin
Race?: Dwarf
Sex?: Male.
Eye color?: Brown.
Hair color?: Also
brown.
Fat/skinny?: Average.
Tall/short?: I’m a
dwarf.
Were you named after anyone?: No.
If you could choose anyone to rule the world who would you
choose?: The wisest and most beautiful being in all
Middle Earth – the Lady Galadriel.
Do you talk to voices in your head?:
No, unlike some elves I could name.
Do they tell you to do stuff?: Obviously
not!
Do you listen?: It is enough
that I am being forced to fill out this thrice-cursed survey – asking me to
answer questions I have already answered once is beyond this dwarf’s patience!
Have you ever loved anyone?: Anyone who
laid eyes on the Lady Galadriel of Lothlórien would have no choice but to love
her.
Who is your best female friend?: I do not
associate with many females, as a rule.
Who is your best male friend?: Legolas
the elf
Have you ever broken any bones?: No –
dwarves’ bones are quite solid, unlike those of men and elves!
If so, which ones?: I warn you - I shall not answer
any more of these inane questions with ought other than my axe…
Do you always get in trouble? With who?:
I am rarely in trouble that cannot be avoided with a few threats or
axe-blows – no matter who I am in trouble with.
What are your favorite smells?: The smell
of battle and the scent of a good vein of mithril.
Do dwarf-girls have beards?
If so, when do they get them?: Of course
dwarf-maids have beards! It is only
these men and elves who do not grow proper beards! Lass’ beards grow in at about the same age as
dwarvish lads’.
What do you wish for most in the world at this moment?: That the creator of this survey would present
her neck for my axe!
~*~* Have you in the last 24
hours... ~*~*
...cried?: No
...gotten in major trouble?: No
...cut your hair?: As might be guessed from its length,
I do not cut my hair frequently.
...ate a meal?: Yes.
...made a new friend?: No.
...lost something?: No.
~*~* If you were stranded on an
island... ~*~*
...who would you take?: Nobody.
...who would you take if you only had two people you could
bring?: Still nobody.
...what three things would you bring?:
My axe, my armor, and food.
...what island would you want to be stranded on?: Any island that was close to a mainland.
...what animal would you kill for food?: Whatever I could find.
...would you write on the sand "help!"?:
No dwarf would be so cowardly.
...would you panic or relax?: Dwarves do
not panic. Ever.
~*~* Which
one? ~*~*
Winter or summer?: Summer, for even a dwarf can catch a
chill in the wintry caves.
The beach or the mountains?: Give me the mountains, with a
well-shored up tunnel leading to a well-crafted cavern.
Day or night?: Day.
~*~* Have you ever... ~*~*
...run into a wall?: Only when
shoved by an enemy.
...sleep walked?: No.
...had your life threatened?: Many a
time. No one has ever delivered such a
threat and lived to boast about it, however.
...talked in your sleep?: No.
However, once while on watch, I heard Aragorn speaking quite
clearly. He was saying something about
Lúthien and beautiful and the Evening Star.
It took no great intelligence to determine who walked through his
dreams. I was forced to kick him to get him
to stop prattling about his love. Also, I have heard Legolas muttering about
spiders while he slept - though, if you ask the elf, he will deny it.
...what did you say?: You were
warned… (*The rest of the paper is shorn
off, and a large chunk is now taken out of the desk beneath the survey. It looks suspiciously like an axe-mark…*)
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