Chapter Ten: There and Back and There and Back and There
and Back…Again
Ah, the part where I get too look like
an idiot, Camli
thought wryly as she found herself walking through thick woods that could only
be the “fair woods of Lothlórien.”
Hoping she could remember the entirety of her line, she began, “Take
care, young hobbits! They say a
great sorceress lives in these woods, an elf witch of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her
spell, and are never seen again.”
Though she obviously couldn’t hear
Galadriel’s telepathic “welcome” to Frodo, Camli did hear the Ringbearer stop
dead in his tracks.
“Mister Frodo?” Sam sounded more
exasperated than concerned.
Bracing herself for the inevitable,
Camli finished her line. “Well,
here’s one dwarf she won’t ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears
of a fox.”
Right on cue, sharp arrow-tips
appeared, trained on the members of the Fellowship. Anagorn, Katholas, and Camli, who had
been expecting the sudden appearance of the weapons, simply froze. Frodo began muttering something about
lead poisoning, Sam dealt out death-glares to each and every one of the
grey-cloaked figures pointing a weapon at him, and Merry attempted to crawl
under a rock. However, as there
were no rocks in the immediate vicinity, the unfortunate hobbit attempted to
crawl under Camli. The dwarf-girl
hauled him roughly to his feet.
Pippin, much to everybody’s shock, had frozen at the sight of the arrows,
as well. Now, a few seconds later,
he still hadn’t moved.
“Put that one in the record book,”
Katholas muttered. “Pippin’s
holding still!”
“It won’t last,” Camli predicted
cynically.
Boromir, meanwhile, was staring
intently at the leader of the archers.
Wondering what the intellectually challenged Man of Gondor could be
staring at, the three girls turned to look as well. All four of them recognized the man –
for he was certainly not elven – at the same time.
“Faramir?”
Faramir stepped forward from his
company of archers. “Boromir, my brother.
Is that truly you?”
“My brother!” Boromir cried.
As the brothers embraced, the three
girls sent each other bewildered glances.
“Faramir isn’t even in the trilogy until
“Captain Faramir,” Anagorn said aloud,
hoping to get to the bottom of at least one of these random appearances, “how do
you and your men come to be so far from Gondor?”
Faramir seemed puzzled. “How is it, madam,
that you know my name, yet I know not yours? And where, pray tell, do you believe we
are? My men and I have been
patrolling these woods of Ithilien for months now.”
Anagorn did all she could – she
improvised. “Our traveling
companion, Boromir, your brother, told us many tales of his courageous younger
brother Faramir. When you and he
embraced as brothers, I knew our journeys had led us to that same
warrior.”
It was Boromir’s turn to look puzzled,
as he did not remember telling the Fellowship any tales about Faramir. However, as Anagorn had hoped, the slow
mind the mangled movie had gifted him with caused him to simply forget about her
comment.
“As for your location, Captain…” Anagorn trailed off. How could she explain to this man how he
had suddenly turned up halfway across Middle Aerth from where he had
started?
Katholas, as was her nature, stepped
forward with the blunt answer.
“Captain, you and your men are now standing in the fair elven
“What about you?” Faramir asked,
looking at Boromir.
Before the man could respond, Anagorn
spoke up. “We are seeking refuge
with the Lórien elves. We will find
our way to their city.”
“How will you find your way through
such a dangerous forest?” Faramir questioned.
“Quite easily,” Anagorn replied with a
smirk. Too softly for anybody
except Katholas and Camli, who stood beside her, to hear, she added, “The scene
is about to change.”
And change it
did.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
All eight members of the Fellowship
blinked rapidly as what felt like spotlights shone insistently into their eyes,
heralding the appearance of Galadriel and Celeborn. Anagorn, Katholas, and Camli all let out
deep sighs and relaxed slightly.
After all, the next few scenes couldn’t be too bad – Galadriel had
obviously escaped the movie’s destruction unscathed, since she was the one who
had reassembled it. Pippin, who had
completely recovered from his earlier trance, didn’t even seem to notice the two
luminous elves; he was busy bouncing in neat little circles around the rest of
the group, whistling off-key. Camli
began wishing she had some duct tape.
“Eight there are here, yet nine there
were set out from Rivendell,” Celeborn intoned. “Where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with
him…”
Galadriel looked directly into
Anagorn’s eyes. The girl Ranger
suddenly found herself unable to look away.
“He has fallen into shadow,” the Elven
queen stated.
Galadriel continued to speak, but none
of the three transplanted girls heard her.
For Galadriel now also spoke within their minds.
“You have come far, warriors from
another world, but your own Quest is not yet over. You have endured much, but you must
endure far more before this movie is completed and you can return to your own
world. Remember, warriors, have
faith in yourselves and have faith in my gifts. And, most important of all, you must
remember…”
Without warning, Anagorn and Camli
found themselves back inside Galadriel’s Mirror. “What?” Camli screamed in
frustration. “What is the most
important thing? Huh? What is it? AAAA!”
“Screaming won’t help,” Anagorn
snapped, though she looked as irritated as Camli sounded. “I just wish we’d had ten more
seconds!” Then, realization slapped
Anagorn across the face like a dueler’s glove. “The missing footage!” she
yelled.
“I thought you said yelling wouldn’t
help!” Camli yelled back.
“Shut up and let me finish!” Anagorn
screamed. Then, much more quietly,
“Do you remember the ten seconds or so of Lothlórien that was stuck in the
middle of the cave troll battle?”
Camli immediately understood. “Oh, no,” she groaned. “Because it was there, it wasn’t here,
so the scene was shorter and Galadriel couldn’t finish telling us what was so
important!” The dwarf-girl balled
both gloved hands into fists. “When
I find whoever is responsible for this, I’m gonna…”
“Look!” Anagorn said, pointing to the
TV screen.
Katholas looked only slightly less
irritated than the two in the Mirror.
Fortunately, she had at least pulled herself together enough to remember
her lines. “I have not the heart to
tell you. For me, the grief is
still too near.”
Moments later, Anagorn vanished and was
replaced by Katholas. “Okay,” the
elf-girl said, clapping both hands to the sides of her head. “That was
disorienting!”
“Dratted moving footage,” Camli
growled.
“Not that! When the scene changed, I was in a
different costume! Do you have any
idea how weird it feels to have the clothes you’re wearing instantly change from
leather armor into a formal elf robe?”
“I have to say I have never had that
experience,” Camli replied dryly.
“It’s weird. Very weird,” Katholas replied with a
slight shudder.
“I’ll take your word for it.”
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Anagorn’s already-frayed temper was
near breaking. Compared to this, dealing with the hobbits
was a picnic! Boromir’s
one-word answers and stubborn refusal to say anything – unless, of course, it
was painfully obvious – was making this conversation impossible. Anagorn had nearly decided to simply sit
and wait for the scene’s time to run out.
Suddenly, a group of forty-odd boys
dressed in the raggedy clothes of 1900-ish street kids charged from the
trees. Anagorn immediately
recognized the cast of Disney’s Newsies, with Jack “Cowboy” Kelly in the
lead.
“Pulitza’ an’ Hoist, dey think we’re nuthin’! Are we nuthin’?” Jack
sang.
Boromir studied the boys for a
moment. “Uhm…no?”
Apparently satisfied, the newsies ran
away again.
Anagorn stood, walked over to the
nearest tree, and began methodically banging her head against the trunk until
the scene changed – or she knocked herself unconscious. She wasn’t entirely sure which one
happened first.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
“Frodo!
Look, Camli, it’s Frodo Baggins!”
“Hullo, Frodo!”
As blackness receded from her pounding
head, Anagorn’s first thought was that she had somehow managed to go all the way
back to the beginning of the movie, when Merry and Pippin collided with Frodo
and Sam in Farmer Maggot’s field.
“Oh, no…” she groaned. “I
can’t handle it all again!”
“She’s coming around,” Katholas’
familiar voice said. “Slowly now, Anagorn.”
Anagorn blinked twice, and the world
around her snapped into focus. She
was back inside Galadriel’s Mirror and above her, on the other side of the
watery ceiling was Frodo’s face – magnified at least ten times. “AAA!” she screamed in
fright.
Katholas and Camli simply laughed. “It’s all right, Anagorn,” Camli
reassured her. “We’ve just gotten
to the scene with Frodo and the Mirror.
Look! We get to watch the
whole thing backwards!”
Sure enough, the familiar pictures of
Frodo’s vision washed across the water above them, although each picture was
flipped around.
“It’s a “Mirror”-image!” Katholas
cracked.
Immediately, Camli tackled
her.
Anagorn was in too much pain to do
anything other than glare weakly and comment, “That was a pun worthy of
Elrond.”
Having finished punching her friend,
Camli reached into her Enchanted Backpack.
“Let’s see if we can get you patched up before you have to go get in that
canoe.”
Katholas leapt to her feet, unhurt, and
did the same.
Camli pulled out a black-hilted dagger
with a ten-inch blade. Some sort of
oil covered the blade, giving it an evil gleam.
Anagorn let out a nervous laugh. “Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to
help me any…”
Katholas, meanwhile, had pulled a black
pen from her own Backpack. “This
isn’t going to help much, eith…”
The elf-girl stopped mid-word when her eyes fell on the dagger in Camli’s
hand. “The Black Knife!” she
whispered. Then, remembering the
fanfic in which that weapon appeared, she screamed, “Don’t touch the
blade!”
Camli’s hand was already moving toward
the oily metal. “Why not? It’s –“
But before she could finish, Katholas
had leaped for the weapon. Trying
not to touch it herself, she swung the only thing in her hand – the pen – at the
dagger, knocking it out of Camli’s grip.
The knife hit the glowing marble floor
with a loud clang. Doing a rather
impressive imitation of the Morgul blade from Weathertop, the dagger’s blade
disintegrated into powder, leaving only the hilt.
For a moment, all three girls stared at
the hilt. Then they looked at the
pen. Then, in precise unison, they
groaned, “The pen is mightier than the sword.”
“I should have known,” Camli
muttered. “Now, what was so scary
about that?”
While Katholas explained – in great
detail – exactly why the blade of the Black Knife was dangerous, Anagorn dug
around in her own Enchanted Backpack and managed to find half of a Hershey
bar. After gulping it down, she
found that the pounding in her head had gone down
considerably.
Which was a good thing, because the
scene changed once more.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
As the Fellowship climbed into the
Elven canoes and prepared for the trip down the Anduin, Anagorn and Katholas
prayed that they would be able to keep their boats moving. The last thing they needed was to tip a
canoe over mid-stream! Since she
didn’t have to worry about paddling, Camli occupied herself by mentally counting
down until the first appearance of the Uruk-hai along the banks.
5…4…3…2…1…Uruk-
Camli never got to finish the
thought. All three girls found
themselves standing back in Galadriel’s Mirror.
“There’s not supposed to be a different
scene here!” Anagorn said, confused
And then the girls were back in their
canoes.
“We’re in the Mirror for the Uruk-Hai
shots!” Katholas cried.
And then they were all back in the
Mirror.
And then they were in the
canoes.
And then they were in the
Mirror.
Canoes.
Mirror.
Canoes.
Mirror.
The girls completely lost track of
where they were in the scene. All
they could do was fight for control of their raging stomachs as their location
changed with nauseating frequency.
Argonath – or, at least, about three
seconds’ worth of the Argonath.
Mirror.
Canoes.
Mirror.
Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes-Mirror-Canoes…
And then, with a jolt that brought all
three girls firmly back to Middle Aerth, the canoes slid onto the rocky
shore. A Ranger, an elf, and a
dwarf, all of whom felt far more like very sick little girls, stumbled out of
their boats.
“That’s it! Next time, you drive,” Anagorn insisted,
pointing to the nearest person, who happened to be Sam.
Sam ignored her.
Camli sang softly, “I remember there
was mist…swirling mist…upon a vast glassy……river…” With that, the dwarf-girl collapsed to
the ground.
It was probably just as well that the
three girls were incoherent – it meant that none of them had time to get
frightened about the test of their mettle that was soon to come – the great
battle with the Uruk-Hai at Amon Hen.
Mizalaye’s Infamous and Irritating
Disclaimer: I don’t own Newsies. Disney owns Newsies (and Jack
“Cowboy” Kelly, and the song “The World Will Know,” which is what that line is
from.) The Black Knife is from the
fic “Crippled Prize” by Mizalaye.
*Shameless plug for my own fanfic…I know…* Does anybody actually read
these disclaimers? Probably not…oh,
well…Hershey owns the Hershey bar.
The line “That’s it! Next
time, you drive” is from Disney’s “The Three Musketeers.” I don’t own that, either. The song about the mist of from Andrew
Lloyd Weber’s “Phantom of the Opera,” which (amazingly enough) I don’t own,
either! Oh, and, in case you were
wondering, the movies The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two
Towers are owned by New Line Cinema, as are Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, the
hobbits, Boromir, Faramir, Galadriel, Celeborn, etc. I still don’t own any of ‘em…I just have
fun messing with them! Please,
don’t sue me, anybody in the (very long) above list! Thanks!
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