The Course of Life Does Not Run
Smoothly
I’m deep in a lovely dream involving
a river of chocolate when an obnoxious buzzing jerks me into reality. I smack my alarm clock to kill the buzzer, and
I stretch until every joint in my body pops.
Then I roll over and go back to sleep.
But, before the handsome pirates can come ashore, the alarm goes off
again. I hit the clock, but the noise
only stops for a moment. I slap it three
more times, but it won’t be quiet.
“Hal. Hal. Haley!”
My roommate’s voice pulls me
awake. “What?” I groan.
“Get up already,” she mumbles.
“What time – ”
I pick up my little black clock –
“Hal!”
“Sorry!”
I asked
“Sorry, Chels,” I
stage-whisper, my voice loud in the silence of the dorm room. “I didn’t mean for the alarm to go off that
many times, I promise.”
“Go to class,” she groans.
I roll my eyes. I should know better than to attempt
conversation with
The bell rings just as I slide into
my seat. Dr. Wilson raises an eyebrow at
me, and I give him the best smile I can manage seventeen minutes after waking
up. As Dr. Wilson begins to ramble about
Spanish theatre in the 16th century, I pull out my notebook and
scribble down facts that might be on the midterm. By twenty minutes into class, however, I’m
having trouble keeping my eyes open.
Theatre history is not a good class to have first thing in the
morning. At least I have only one other
class today, and Introduction to Drawing isn’t until
eleven.
Afraid of falling asleep, I turn the
page in my notebook to a blank sheet and begin sketching. At first, it’s just a box, but it quickly
becomes an outline of the stage in the Hollister Theatre. Before I know it, I’m working on the
backstage layout for Shakespeare’s
Twelfth Night, the play in production right now. The set for Malvolio’s prison has given me
trouble during the last few rehearsals. A pair of hinged plywood flats form two walls of a cell, the
wall that’s already onstage makes a third, and a faux oak door sits across the
front. However, there is no place
backstage to put an eight-foot wall, at least not where I can reach it. Fortunately, I’ve spent enough time backstage
in that building that I could probably draw the entire thing to scale from
memory; it lets me work on diagrams at any time and in any place.
Suddenly, I realize that everybody
is looking at me. “I’m sorry, Dr.
Wilson,” I say, ignoring the heat creeping up my face. “Could you please repeat the question?”
I judge him
correctly – Dr. Wilson shakes his head in resignation and repeats the
question. But I don’t dare lose focus
again. He might be
understanding once, but not twice in one lecture.
The bell rings eventually, and I
practically bolt from the room.
“I’ve got bad news,” she says
bluntly. She motions for me to follow
her down the hallway.
“Personal or
theatrical?” I ask, suddenly nervous.
“Theatrical, but you’ll take it
personally.”
“I will not – ”
I cut myself off. She has a point. As the most experienced of the five theatre
technicians at the school, I feel responsible for everything that happens.
“I borrowed Prof. Harris’ key,” she
says without turning around, and I stifle a chuckle. She knows me so well.
The main lights in the theatre are
off, leaving the auditorium lit only by the glow of the emergency lights along
the light green walls. Bethany and I
navigate the dim room with the ease of three years’ practice. I examine everything I pass, looking
anxiously for the source of
“Nee, you’re starting to scare me with
the silent treatment,” I say, stopping when she does.
She sighs. “I know.
Here’s what I can tell you. I
came in after my morning meeting to get my sword so I could glue the pommel
wrapping back on.”
I nod, remembering how she nearly
lost the sword when she drew it for the fight scene in Act III during rehearsal
last night. The leather strap that wraps
around the sword’s handle had come off in one piece and slid back over the end
of the hilt. And it makes sense that
I finally understand why
But my neat row of plugs is now a
tangled mess kicked against the concrete wall.
My little sign pokes out sheepishly from the mess. I stare at the ruin of hours of work. Without a word, I walk slowly and carefully
to the doorway and look around the corner.
Sure enough, the door to Malvolio’s prison lies on the concrete floor
across the hall from the big metal doors to the set construction shop.
“What kind of idiot...” I trail off, unable to think of the rest of
my sentence. I want to cry; I want to
scream; I want to collapse onto the floor.
“I’m sorry, Haley,”
I breathe out sharply; it’s almost a
laugh. “You didn’t do anything.” I clench my jaw tightly and spin around. “Lemme blow off some steam.”
When I walk back to the stage, where
Nee sits, I realize that she is watching me, eyes narrowed and head tilted to
one side. It’s her appraising look. “Afraid I’m going to explode?” I ask.
“Figuratively
speaking, yes.”
I groan and collapse into a chair in
the front row of the audience. “I just
don’t know how I’m going to do this. I
was so happy to have gotten so close to being done.”
“I know.” Her voice is soft, calming.
“Do you know if Jeremy or Dan is in class?”
I rub my temples while I think. Dan and Jeremy are usually willing to help
out, and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind being called in an emergency like
this. Neither of them are usually
lighting techs, but they’ve both done enough to be useful.
“What about Ben?”
“He’s got a huge paper due tomorrow
that he’s desperately worked on for the past three days.” I’m whining now. “That’s why I was running all the cords in
the first place.”
“Oh.”
I nod. “Yep.” Kristin is our costumer – she’s very good at what
she does, but wires and buttons scare her.
I groan again. “I’m gonna go grab
a phone and call Jeremy and Dan.
Hopefully, at least one of them will be free.” I stride down the aisle.
Jeremy doesn’t answer the phone, but
I get Dan on his cell phone. He can come
in at two, he says, and he doesn’t have to be anywhere until
“He can come?”
“Yep. At least I won’t be doing it myself.” I glance down at my watch.
Drawing class is as good as usual,
but I keep looking at the clock. The
knowledge that I have to spend the afternoon in the theatre is weighing on
me. I miss the assignment and quickly
copy it from Jen’s notes. I have to keep
myself from running to the cafeteria; Jeremy is usually there at
I spot him and chase him halfway
across the noisy room. “Jeremy!” When I catch up, he grins down at me from his
six-foot-odd height.
“Hey, Hal. What’s up?”
“Could you come into the theatre
from two to four thirty-ish this afternoon?”
I’m practically begging.
“Somebody messed up the light cords, and I have to get them all plugged
in and set before rehearsal tonight, and it’ll take all day if I have to do it
alone.”
“Did you ask Dan or Ben?”
“Dan can come – Ben’s working on
that lit paper.”
“Right.” Jeremy winces. “The monster paper.”
“Yeah.”
He stares into space for a long
moment. “Yeah, I think I can do that. Two to four?”
“Thirty,” I add firmly.
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
“Thank you!” I throw my arms around his neck
spontaneously.
He chuckles and hugs me back. “You’re pretty stressed about this, aren’t
you?”
I roll my eyes. “You have no idea. I was in there until nearly one in the
morning last night running all those cords, and some idiot decided to move
Malvolio’s prison door into the hallway and kicked them all out of the
way. Somebody just cost me more than two
hours of work. And for a while, I was
afraid I’d have to re-do it all by myself.”
Jeremy puts a hand on my
shoulder. “It’s
gonna be all right, Hal. You always
manage to get it done. You’ll be fine.”
I let out a breath. “Thanks.
I’ll see you there.”
“
I give him a weak smile and head for
my usual table.
“So you’ve got help?”
“Yep. We’ll meet at two and get everything back
out, then the guys can . . .”
I trail off as an awful thought sends ice through my stomach.
“What? Hal, what’s wrong?”
“Did you give Prof. Harris her master
key back?” I ask hesitantly.
“Yeah; I only borrowed it to get out
the sword.”
I collapse into the orange plastic
chair and drop my head into my hands.
“Because I had to lend Chris my light booth key yesterday because he was
giving a tour to a couple of prospective theatre students, and all the stuff I
need is in the booth.”
“Maybe.”
“He’ll
be at rehearsal tonight,”
I groan and let my head fall so my
forehead rests on the table. “I’m dead.”
“You are not,”
“It’s
worth a shot, I guess.” I jump from my
chair and head for the phone on the cafeteria wall.
Chris is not what anybody would call
responsible. I have no idea how he ended
up as the tour guide for prospective students.
I lent him a CD at the beginning of the year, and he didn’t return it
for a three and a half months.
Unfortunately, the administration office had called him only a few hours
before he had to give the tour, and I was the only person that he could find who
had a key. He had a key of his own once,
but he lost it. We’ve never bothered to
get him a new one.
After three rings, he picks up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Chris, it’s Haley. Do you still have my light booth key?”
Chris’ voice is deep and slow, with
a bit of a Southern drawl. “Yeah. I was gonna
bring it to rehearsal tonight.”
“Well, I need it before two this
afternoon. Do you have a class in the
fine arts building today?”
“Yep. I have acting in there at one.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Great.
Can you leave it on the desk in the student office so I can get to it?”
He’s silent for a moment; just as I
start wondering if he’s fallen asleep, he responds, “I guess I might be able to
do that.” He sounds as if I just asked
him to sprint to the other side of campus with it, rather than go ten feet out
of his way to drop it off.
I restrain the urge to say something
sarcastic. “Thank you.”
“’Bye.” He hangs up.
I stare at the phone for a moment,
shaking my head. I will never understand
him.
I need to finish my psychology reading
so I don’t fail another quiz, and it takes me until two. Then I have to run and change into work
clothes. So, it’s five after when I
reach the building. I want this done and
over with, so I can stop stressing over it.
I push the student office door open.
Kristin,
a perky blonde who oozes “cheerleader,” looks up at me and grins. “Hey, Hal. How’s it going?”
“Don’t ask. This has been one of the longest days of my
life.”
“That bad, huh?” Kristen has the gift of looking happily
sympathetic.
“I get to spend my afternoon
figuring out where all my light cords go because somebody kicked them out of
the way.”
“I’m sorry.” She looks at me with sympathy. “Anything I can do to help?”
“Just tell me that Chris left my light
booth key in here like he was supposed to.”
“Uhm . . .” Kristin looks through the piles of
stuff on the desk. “I don’t see it,
Hal,” she says softly.
I groan. “The guys are probably already here and
waiting for me. I have got to get those
lights up this afternoon so I can use them during rehearsal tonight! We’ve only got a week until opening night!”
Kristin gestures for me to stop
talking. “It’ll be all right, Hal. Chris is in the theatre someplace. Just go find him and talk to him.”
“He’s in the theatre?” I
repeat. “He made a big deal about
leaving my key when he was going to be here anyway?”
“I don’t know about him making a big
deal out of it, but he just borrowed the office keys to get into the
theatre. He said he let Jeremy and Dan
in there, too.”
I spin around and march toward the
theatre.
“Chris!” I call down the backstage
hallway. “Where are you?”
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Chris ambles out of the set construction shop.
“Where is my key?” I ask.
“What key?”
My voice is sharp and clipped. “The key you were supposed to put on the desk
in the office for me so I could get into the lighting booth.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Let me see if I have it with me.” Chris walks back into the shop. I hear him dig through the painstakingly
organized piles of half-built set pieces, and I nearly scream. I bite down on my tongue, the mild pain
helping me to focus. I take a long, deep
breath.
Then, Chris steps
back into the hallway and shrugs his broad shoulders. “I think I left it in my room by
accident. Want me to go get it?”
I calculate how long he would take
to plod to his dorm, get to his room, find the key in what is probably a huge
mess, and return; it would be faster simply to find Prof. Harris and ask her to
let me in.
“Have it at rehearsal tonight.”
“Fine. Need anything else?” He shoots me a look of challenge.
I’m back to biting my tongue. “No.”
Turning on my heel, I manage to walk down the hallway at a normal
pace. Only when I reach the wings and am
out of his sight do I growl in frustration, curling my hands into claws. I stalk through the lobby and down the main
hallway toward Prof. Harris’ office.
She’d better be there. If I have
to stay past
“If he would just listen when somebody told
him to do something, we would all be fine.”
I must look like an idiot, striding down the hallway muttering to
myself, but I am past caring. “But, no,
he has to make himself a pain in the – ” I catch
myself before saying the words flitting through my head.
Prof. Harris’ closed door stops my
inner monologue. “You have got to be
kidding me.” I rake one hand through my ponytail,
ignoring the twinge of pain as the knotted curls pull apart.
I take another deep breath and spin
back around. “Chris!” I’m really screaming now. I pass an open classroom door, and catch the
glare of the professor who’s giving a lecture there, but I ignore him.
I barge into the construction shop
and freeze in my tracks, my diatribe dying on my lips. Chris is fiddling with the latch on
Malvolio’s prison door.
“It was you!”
“What was me?” He doesn’t look up.
“You’re the one who moved the door
and kicked all my cords out of the way.
You’re the reason that I’m here for the next two hours fixing all of my
light cords, because you couldn’t be bothered to look where you were going!”
I’ve walked closer and closer to him as I yell, and now I’m right beside
him.
Slowly, he stands up, and his tacky
cologne hits my nose, which wrinkles from the smell. “Yeah, I moved the door this morning. It needed to be fixed. I figured I’d help out a little.”
“So you just kicked the light cords
out of the way?” I try to steady my
voice, but I can hear the tremble of fury in it.
“I tripped over some cords on the
way back here.” He shrugs. “I didn’t know they were so important.”
My mouth works, but no sound comes
out. Afraid I will say something I will
regret later, I spin on my heel and stalk out of the room, down the hallway,
and into the maze of backstage. Then, I
let out the scream that has been building in me all day. Seeing a wad of tape lying on the floor, I
pick it up and fling it against the wall with all my strength.
I hear Jeremy’s voice. “Hal? Is that you?”
I drop my head against the concrete
wall. “Yes.”
“Is everything ok?”
“Fine. Peachy.” I’m practically oozing sarcasm.
He’s silent. Then, I hear soft footsteps behind me. “Hal? Dan and Jeremy said you were screaming back
here. What’s wrong?” It’s
“I’m seriously contemplating
murder.”
“Who? And can I help?”
That earns her a
exhalation that might be taken for a laugh.
“Chris and yes.”
“Was he the one who – ”
“Yes.”
“Ouch.”
I let out a wordless whine, desperately
trying to rein in my temper. “Do you
know anybody else who has a key to the light booth?”
She considers for a moment. “Only you, Prof. Harris,
and Ben.”
I groan. “And Chris has my key, Ben’s in class until
three, and I have no idea where Prof. Harris is.”
“This means a late night, doesn’t
it.” It isn’t a question.
I just nod. The effort to restrain my temper isn’t
working. “And I am going to flat-out
kill Christopher Kinston. Now.” I wheel around
to head for the shop.
“But think of all
the cleanup you’ll have to do afterward.
It’ll make an awful mess.” She
waits until my face softens slightly, then gives me a
dimpled grin. “But we could always stick
pins into his costume.”
The impish twinkle in her green eyes
finally coaxes a real chuckle from me.
“I’ll settle for glares for now.
But you might want to make sure he stays out of my way, or I make no
guarantees.”
“I gotta tell the guys that we can’t
work until tonight when I can get my key back.”
“Do you need help tonight? I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can play
nurse and hand you tools.” She mimes
handing me something. “Wrench,
doctor.”
That does it. I start laughing. “Thanks, Nee,” I say.
“For?”
“For talking me
out of murder.”
“Anytime.”
Later that evening, after a long rehearsal,
I use Ben’s key to open the light booth and get my equipment out. Jeremy, Dan, and Bethany help me haul things
downstairs, and the four of us begin the long process of figuring out my
cords.
We’ve only been working for a few
minutes when I hear a crash. Spinning
around, I see
Freed from the weight of the wood,
My first-aid training kicks in. “Did it hit your head?”
“No...I ducked pretty fast.”
Jeremy and Dan come up behind
me. “You all right?”
Jeremy asks, forehead wrinkled with concern.
“Yeah.” Slowly, with Dan’s support,
“Why?”
Anger washes over me. She’s right -- I don’t have time. Chris has already cost me hours of work, and
this is going to cost me at least one more.
Why couldn’t she watch where she was going?
I glance up and see all three of my
friends glancing at each other. “What?”
I snap.
“You’re actually mad at
I groan. “Not necessarily mad, exactly...”
“She’s mad.”
“I know. I don’t have time. You know that. I just...I’m just sick of everybody not
paying attention and costing me time.”
“But the important thing is that
“I know, and I’m glad about that,” I
assure him. I really am. I would be horribly upset if Nee hurt
herself. But she didn’t look where she
was going, and now I have even more work to do.
“I said I was sorry,”
I look up into my friend’s sorrowful
brown eyes, and a realization hits me upside the head. How stupid do I sound? Nee could have seriously hurt herself, and
I’m mad because it’s going to cost me time and energy? Am I really that selfish?
“Nee, I...”
“I should go back.”
I jump up and follow her. “Nee, please...”
“I don’t want to hear about it right
now.”
I stand in shock, staring at my
friend’s retreating back. The door
swings closed behind her, and I turn to see Dan and Jeremy watching me. “What?
Do you two want to leave, too?”
“What’s gotten into you?” Jeremy
asks gently.
“I...I...” I collapse onto the floor. “I don’t know. I’m so stressed out about all this, and I
don’t know what to do with it all.”
The door opens again, and I look up
quickly, hoping
I snatch it away from him, emotions
swirling. Do I yell at him again or thank
him for finally returning my key?
“Hey, Hal?” Chris’ voice is softer than I’ve ever heard
it. “Listen, I’m sorry I messed up your
cords. I really didn’t know they were
there, or I wouldn’t have touched them.
Honest.”
I sigh. If I’m honest with myself, I know that. Chris may be forgetful and slow, but he’s not
malicious. “I know. And...and...” The words stick on my tongue, but I force
them past unwilling lips. “I’m sorry I
yelled. It’s been a rough week, and I
don’t have the time to fix everybody else’s mistakes and...” I trail off, catching myself in the same
thought patterns. “Sorry,” I finish
lamely.
To my surprise, Chris smiles. I’ve never noticed that he has a nice
smile. “No problem. Uhm...”
He looks around the theatre. “I
don’t know what I’m doing, but do you guys need any help?”
I am shocked to hear myself answer,
“Yeah, we could use some.”
Chris’ cologne keeps me from getting
too close to him, but his help speeds up the process, and we’re done earlier
than I thought possible.
I sneak into my room, finding
“Hey, Nee. It’s Haley.
I’m...I’m sorry about tonight.
I’m really glad you’re ok, and I shouldn’t have been worried about the
stupid flat. I hope you’re not too mad
at me. Hopefully, I’ll talk to you
tomorrow. Sleep well.” I hang up and stare at the phone.
I pull out clothes for the next day,
put my books into my backpack, and crawl under my covers, glad that the awful
day is over. Sleep pulls me in quickly,
and I slide into dreams, where pirates sail the chocolate river and doors are
never, ever locked.
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