Bittersweet
email: m_shell@hotpop.com
Rating: PG-13 so far
Pairing: Hermione/Lavender, implied Lavender/Parvati
Spoilers: Nah
Series: Yes-this is chapter 1. More to ensue!
Warnings: Angst, kinda. Possible non-monogamy.
Notes: More threesomes possible on the horizon. No, I'm not obsessed...
Summary: Parvati finds a boy, and Lavender goes looking for a girl. Hermione gets involved, and complications ensue.
Hermione came up the stairs to the tower room she shared with Lavender and Parvati. Her mind was somewhat lost in abstraction; that last Arithmancy problem in the homework set was still baffling her, and half her mind was still puzzling over it. The room was dim, and at first Hermione thought neither of her roommates was at home. But as her eyes adjusted to the low light, she realized that there was someone else in the room after all. Lavender was sitting on her bed, quiet and still. Hermione almost lit the lamp, but something stopped her. Why was Lavender sitting in the dark? she wondered. And where was Parvati? She hardly ever saw one without the other. Hesitating, she finally asked, "Lavender?" "Oh, hi, Hermione," Lavender's doleful voice came out of the shadows. Hermione hesitated again. But she had to say something, do something. She was incapable of leaving someone to fend for herself in the dark. Sighing inwardly, she went over to the bed and sat down beside Lavender. "Where's Parvati?" she asked.
Lavender sniffed. "Off snogging with some Ravenclaw boy," she said, sounding disconsolate. The tone in the other girl's voice stirred something in Hermione. How would she feel if Ron or Harry started going out with some girl, and suddenly was never around? Impulsively, she gave Lavender's shoulder a little squeeze. "It'll be all right," she said, hoping it was true. Lavender sighed. "She's been gone every evening for ages, seeing him," she said. "I hardly ever see her anymore!" Hermione felt strange suddenly. Lavender had been her roommate for years, and she knew next to nothing about the girl, except that she and Parvati were inseparable. Lavender must be feeling very lonely to be willing to talk to her like this... "And my Arithmancy homework this week is driving me mad, and usually we work on it together." Lavender added. Hermione suddenly felt relieved. This, at least, was something she could help with. "I can help you with that, I think," she offered. "It was awfully hard this week, but I worked most of it out." "Really?" Lavender asked, sounding surprised. "Well, okay, thanks."
The next day, Hermione was sitting in the library working on Transfiguration homework when Lavender came and put her books down next to her. Hermione must have looked surprised, because Lavender said apologetically, "I was just wondering...you helped me out so much with Arithmancy, and Transfiguration always confuses me..." Hermione smiled at her. "Sure," she told Lavender. "I was just doing that myself, come look at this-I think this part of the spell is the most confusing, but as long as your wandwork is good..."
Harry and Ron were talking about Quiddich at dinner, and Hermione was trying not to look too bored, when Lavender came and sat next to them. She looked a little nervous, as if she wasn't sure she'd be welcome. Ron and Harry seemed taken aback to see Lavender without Parvati, but they moved over to make room for her. Soon they were back in the throes of their involved discussion about the relative merits of the Wronski Feint and the Kurianowicz Pass, leaving Lavender and Hermione to talk mainly to one another. Lavender picked at her food in a distracted manner. Peering discreetly over the crowd, Hermione could see Parvati at the Ravenclaw table, talking to a boy with shiny black hair and a confident smile. Trying to distract Lavender, she offered, "Would you like to get started on our Charms homework early?" Lavender looked grateful. "Sure," she said. "Let's work on it after dinner." Hermione noticed her avoiding looking in Parvati's direction, but at least Lavender didn't look utterly crushed anymore. That was an improvement, she thought wearily.
In the weeks that followed, Hermione became used to Lavender's popping up whenever Parvati was off with her Ravenclaw boy, especially if Hermione was alone. She didn't mind, exactly, although a small cynical part of her observed that it was obvious she was being used as a second-best replacement for Parvati. But Lavender was sweet, really, especially when she accidentally abandoned her usual ultra-femme persona and got interested in a homework problem momentarily. And sometimes it was nice to have a break from Ron and Harry's relentless fascination with Quiddich and practical joking. She grew accustomed to Lavender's frequent, if erratic, presence-maybe even fond of it, a bit, although that thought was immediately relegated to the "do not think about again" category. Some things didn't bear too much examination.
One afternoon, the two of them were sprawled out on Lavender's bed, having polished off that day's homework in record time. Lavender had been quiet for a long time, but was clearing her throat as if about to speak. "Hermione?" she asked. "Hmmm?" Hermione asked, drowsy from the slanting afternoon sunlight. "People say you're-that is, some people do-though they might be wrong..." Lavender hesitated. Finally she blurted out, "Are you...are you a lesbian?" Hermione blinked. She rolled over to look at Lavender, who was regarding her with a serious look in those huge, long-lashed brown eyes. After a long moment, Hermione finally got out, "Why?" Lavender was silent for a long moment. The silence between them was filled with a curious tension. Hermione felt an unfamiliar sensation in the pit of her stomach as Lavender dragged her lower lip past her teeth nervously, making it flush rosy pink. Then Lavender gulped, parted her lips as if to speak, and instead leaned over and kissed Hermione.
At the first soft touch of Lavender's mouth on her own, Hermione felt as if she were drowning. Her rational mind, languid but still protesting, was trying hard to tell her that this was simply wrong. She's lonely, she's curious, she wants Parvati and not you in any case, it insisted. But another part of her was ignoring the warnings, reveling in the tactile sensation of feeling another girl close to her. She could feel Lavender's heart beating fast, taste the sweetness of her lips. Hermione let her hands come up to trace patterns on Lavender's back, and Lavender plastered herself against Hermione and began to kiss hard and desperate. It was like an intoxicant or a potion, feeling Lavender's need, and Hermione abandoned all resistance and let the other girl in. Regardless of consequences, there was no way she was stopping now.
chapter 2
