Born: Crawley, England

Age: 25

Influences: Butorphanoi, Tartrate, Phill Oakey, Lucio Fulci

        Hit twice on the head when young, 2D is a sweetheart with a blank sheet of paper where a brain should be. He has really good hair. People think he's cool and enigmatic but he's just got a migraine. 2D idolizes Murdoc, who, he feels, saved his life. Keyboard wizard, melodica maniac, graffiti compulsive and the perfect pin-up product. Voice like an angel, arse like a satsuma. Mind full of zombies and painkillers. Says nothing controversial. Says nothing much at all. Loved by everyone (except the green eyed Murdoc), 2D has legions of lady followers and would make a good boyfriend if only he'd wake up.

Update:

    2D hung around in L.A. for a while, mainly with that Brian Setzer of 'Stray Cat Strut' fame. It was through Brian that 2D met Britt Ekland. 'Yeah she's nice. I fancied her since Murdoc lent me his copy of the Wickerman. But her arse looks a lot smaller in real life.' However ultimately aimless and deeply disillusioned, 2D pissed off back to England to get his head together.

    He went back home to see his dad who runs the local fun fair down in Eastbourne, who gave 2D a job collecting money from the 'Switchback Ride'. Hopping from carriage to carriage, chatting up birds, these were the greatest days of 2D's life. HE also became good mates with Shane Lynch, Ex-Boyzone, who took the money on The Waltzer.

    The pair became inseparable, working the rides by day and cruising the town by night. God knows how many blue-haired babies there must be out there! Adopting the teddy boy look with drainpipe jeans and his hair slicked into greasy quiff, 2D became a local celebrity all over again; the star of the dodgems, and King of the carousel! 'Awright, darling!'

    What's more, with no Murdoc around to bully him 2D quickly got his own ego back. And then some. His big-head soon swelled right out of control as he realized that it was him, 2D, who was responsible for the Gorillaz success. Great! He's still just as dim as always, but now thinks the sun shines out of his own...

    So 2D 'stu-pot' the skinny greaser hardnut, has gone from boy to man. Packet of three, a fresh roll-up and a flick-comb. He's set.

    His confidence fully restored 2D has decided to return to Kong Studios and '...like, sort that duh-brain Murdoc out, for picking on me! Give him a kicking or summink!'

    Uh oh!

Born: Osaka, Japan

Age: 13

Influences: Haiku poetry, Loa Zi, Richie Sambora

    Noodle arrived in a crate. She's a kick ass riffmeister, the Asian axe princess. Doesn't speak more than a word of English, and that word is "Noodle." Martial Arts expert, little ice maiden, she looks at the world through unfazed eyes. Usually found with Russel. Adores 2D. Tickled by Murdoc's desperation.

    Irrepressible. Inscrutable. Irresistible. Likes: Power Puff Girls, Tomagatchi pets, Pokemon, Yo-yo's, her new radio headphone hat, rice and noodles.

Update:

    Plagued by silent nightmares and half-forgotten images, Noodle returned from L.A. to her homeland of Japan, to search for her past, the one she could never remember. Using a capsule hotel for her base, she trawled the streets of Tokyo for almost a year, following rumors of secret army bases and crack miniature troops. These snatches of stories seem to stir something writhing her.

    They lead her to the open restaurants of downtown Hong Kong, where slumped in steamed fish shop, young Noodle accidentally knocks over a tray of freshly cooked 'Ocean Bacon'. (Recipe on website in Noodle's room).

    This unique an unlikely combination of words triggers a flashback of devastating consequence. She remembers everything! Suddenly out of the kitchen comes the chef and retired army officer, Mr. Kyuzo. It can't be! Noodle's mentor and trainer!

    Re-united with Mr. Kyuzo, Noodle discovers she was one of 23 kids trained as part of an elite crack team for the Japanese government at a secret military compound.

    It was Mr. Kyuzo's "duty to train the children in every martial art including sonic warfare. He taught them all languages including sign and lip-reading. Computers, mechanics, Gameboys... Their skills were endless."

    Noodle was the star pupil and the most favored by Mr. Kyuzo. He also gave every child a special individual skill of their own. Noodle was taught as a musician. Her specialized instrument was guitar, but young Noodle was so gifted she became completely fluent in all instruments.

    But it was as a junior fighting militia where the kids really excelled.

    "No-one would ever suspect that these children were capable of such devastating destruction! Godzilla destroyed Tokyo maybe 100 times but this was nothing compared to what these kids could do when activated. It was ingenious!"

    "When training the children there were three command phrases. One to remember who they were; their pasts and their training as soldiers. Another phrase to forget this information and all their military training. Useful if you are caught in battle being enemy lines. And lastly one... one to turn her into the most devastating killing maching the world has ever seen! A wave of unstoppable fury that would last precisely one minute! Like a miniature atom bomb!"

    But unfortunately these tests were abandoned and the government proposed to "de-commission" all of these kids. It was Mr. Kyuzo who smuggled Noodle to safety in England. She was such a magnificent player he sent her for an audition and to what he believed would be the relative anonymity of a turdy English band (Who would have guessed, eh readers!)

    But now, united once more with Mr. Kyuzo, she has re-discovered her past. Her memory is regained and her awesome skills are returned. She now even speaks fluent English!

    More importantly she has remembered the importance of her true mission. The real reason for her training, and the reason why Kyuzo knew it would be Noodle that would play a role that would be of such significance! Time is of the essence and these are matters of great importance!

    "GOD SPEED YOUNG WARRIOR!"

    Noodle returns to Kong Studios to complete her unfinished business. It is time to re-unite Gorillaz and launch another killer Gorillaz album. The ammunition!

    She has solemnly vowed not to reveal stage three of her mission until the time is right. Widely Noodle keeps her 'secret passwords' close to her chest in an envelope at all times.

    God forbid the secret of these passwords should ever fall into the wrong hands. Like, say, erm, Murdoc for instance.

Born: Stoke-on-Trent, England, 6.6.66

Age: 36

Influences: Sabbath, Dub, J Andrew Anderson, Dennis Wilson, Satan

Hobby: Punching 2D

    The snaggle toothed svengali of Gorillaz, his flop fringe disguises a mind like a rusty steel trap. Self-taught bassist, wannabe front man, he's the band's warped back seat driver who knows that good tunes aren't enough to succeed. You need good looks - which he hasn't got - and a twisted mind - which he has. Murdoc likes to dominate interviews, a rent-a-quote misogynist who speaks without a taste filter. Ex speed freak. Personal hygiene problem. Kiddie frightener. Shoplifter. Heavy smoker. Max power subscriber. Used to set fire to cats.

Update:

    Our charismatic leader and bass-playing lethargio decided to head south to Mexico for a little sun, warm tequila and cheap senoritas. However, when his money ran out, he gets caught red-handed slipping dud cheques to the 'Tijuana Brass' down at the local brothel . Murdoc was thrown in jail. As Murdoc soon learnt... 'YOU NEVER STIFF A WHORE IN MEXICO!'

    Murdoc bides his time in jail usefully, or so he thinks, by taking a Mexican Open University course in the 'Amateur Administration or of Pharmaceutical Medicines'. Christ! Really? 'Dr.Murdoc'?! 'Legally entitled to experiment on monkeys'!?! No!!

    However, when some of the inmates took a shine to him, Murdoc has to male some new friends. Fast. Murdoc the 'Mexican Arse-Bandito?' Not a good look. Enter Pedro 'Shitbag' Lapetzo and Carlos Benito. These two greasy bastards not only stopped Murdoc becoming the prison 'bike', they also taught him a little 'Mexican Black Magic'. So he owes them plenty. 'Eh? My Friend!'

    Whilst languishing in the slammer Murdoc makes a friend of the feathered variety. 'Cortez the Raven' used to bring Murdoc little berries straight to the prison window. (Causing him to suffer the worst prison stomach bug known to man, but whatever). None of the other inmates would even look at the raven, a 'Jailbird' with a chilling reputation. Legend has it that the creature was 'born in the folds of the Grim Reaper's cloack'. And his fucking squawk sounds like some idiot letting off a fire alarm in a library.

    TIME'S UP! After eighteen months and eighteen months and some pretty lengthy negotiations held in Murdoc’s new offices… er.. the prison showers, our legendary Gorillaz superstar decided enough was enough. With no sign of parole in sight Murdoc decides to get himself bust out of jail! EMI want a new album and Murdoc wasn't his new advance! After one more lightning visit to 'The Chicken Choker', Murdoc was on a plane back to the belly of his beloved Kong Studios! Of course with his Raven and new Mexican pals in tow, ready to shake their stupid maracas all over the new record.

    With his bad boy credentials now complete, arthritic booze-monkey Murdoc has attained an even higher level of repulsiveness.

    Look out softies! Murdoc's back... with an even bigger ballsack! Lock your drinks cabinet and hide your daughters! Murdoc’s back, folks… and he’s really thirsty!!’

Born: New York State

Age: 25

Influences: Farrakhan, Chaka Khan

    A hip-hop hard man from the US of A, Russel draws upon spooky spirit mates to help guide his beats. The funkyphantoms live within Russel's hunking frame and pop out every so often to provide some undead rapping. Russel himself is well adjusted, with an enviable wardrobe. Beautifully spoken. Polite to his elders. Privately educated. Proper musician. Without Russel, Gorillaz couldn't survive: he's the safety net, the linebacker, the true defender. Women love his solid safety, men his solid credentials. Multiple traine owner. Likes to eat.

Update:

    The previously unshakable Russel Hobbs had started going crazy long before the film was even terminated. With Del’s ghost long overdue for collection by the Grim Reaper, Russel underwent a grueling and harrowing exorcism to return Del’s spirit to its rightful place.

    This process left Russel fagged and shagged and a big, fat double-cracked actor! Once his strength was sapped he was unable to resist the indignation of being painted green by studio bosses when they thought about using Russel for the HulkII movie. Some of the local L.A. kids even used to chuck Russel in a wheelbarrow and push him round just to humiliate him.

    With his 'soul mate' Del gone, no band and no home, the fragile Russel was left close to broken. Fat, mad and without any shoes Russel wandered aimlessly up and down the streets of Hollywood Boulevard, just another burnt out goon stumbling in and out of the various organisations that this town seems to breed.

    GET READY FOR THE BIG MAN'S BREAKBEAT BREAKDOWN!

    Some of the less scrupulous members of the sects siphone Russel's dough into funding 'The Russel Retreat for Sensitive Rappers'. But when the money ran out they scarpered leaving Russel to be inducted into the dark, dark world of Little Jimmy Manson's gang, the notorious pint-sized sod.

    Living on a diet of wheatgrass, mung beans and crazy pills, Russel ended up a barefooted, bearded, kaftan wearing headjob, living like a recluse down in Ike Turner's basement. It was here from the depths of his mental wilderness that he began to dream up his next project. A hip-hop album of such devastating ambition and beauty it would enchant the world!

    An album of such rare passion, harmony and vision that it would unite the world in peace and love!! Combining the four raw elements of hip-hop: Bass, Beats, Ruthm and Booty, it would be his masterpiece: The Hip-Hop Pet Sounds! The Breakbeat Sgt.Pepper's!!

    He set up his studio and with Ike's help began his ambitious ascent, an expedition to the height of the musical summit.

    HOWEVER, IT WAS NOT TO BE. The over whelming task of completing his insurmountable musical vision was the last straw, ultimately breaking his already damaged psyche. After almost a year of splicing, re-editing and overdubs, the unhinged Russel became terrified of his mammoth creation.

    Believing that his music was causing freak vibrations to ripple across the planet, the 'Seventh Heaven Hip-Hop & Harmony' album got shelved. Right next to Brian Wilson's 'Smile' and Prince's 'Black Album'.

    Russel decided to return to England and the relative security of Kong Studios. He really wants to lie down for a bit. His head's spinning. He must be hallucinating. He keeps seeing Zombies crawling up the walls of his bedroom. Little did he know, out of the frying pan and into the fire…

    Destinee's little 15-year old sister from NYC. Spoiled, sweet, and snotty. A cheerleader and Mandy's best friend, she likes the Gorillaz, their roadies and fans, and thinks Murdoc is stupid. Tries to get along w/ Mel.

    City's drunk, Claudia is a 22-year-old Japanese woman from Liverpool, England who enjoys drinking. She didn't drink during pregnancy though. Kimberly's mum, the fans and roadies try to get her to stop.

Born: Richmond, Virginia

Age: 24

    Ryan's first younger brother. Womanizer. He loves to sleep. Smarter than Ryan. Like his brother, he too is really charming.  Helps 2-D out a lot.

Destinee Wess

Age: 23

One of my friends made her up. Russel's girlfriend. Her birthday is May 9, 1977. Her religion is Christianity. Her talent is writing. And her is the rest of the stats:

Favorite Food: Ice Cream

Hair: Brown, in braids/cornrows

Eyes: Brown

Skin: Brown

Clothes: Usually casual stuff, dresses normally

Attitude: Very nice, Kind, and does no hurt to anybody

Born: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Age: 34

    Murdoc's "girlfriend", Dolly has a REALLY bad attitude. Plays hard to get. Really horny. Gets what she wants and gets what is hers.

Born: Richmond, Virginia

Age: 22

    Ryan's little sister. Wise woman. Has a hurting ankle. Really charming. Gives advise to anyone willing to listen. She too helps 2-D out a lot. Really good friends with Noizchild (ME!)

Born: Liverpool, England

Age: 24

    Ryan's wife. Nice but she can be really cranky. She is really smart. She is a professor at the same university Ryan works at.

Born: Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Age: 12

    The smart mouth of the group and Dolly's little half brother. Loves to get under Murdoc's skin. He's kinda the leader of the kid roadies. With Dolly. He chases away any boys that try to hook up with his sister. Doesn't like Noodle at first, because she Japanese. Tries his best to keep Sumi away from Murdoc.

Born: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Age: 14

    Reese's Little cousin. Really girlish. Like Noodle a lot. Looks up to Joey. (And beats him up!)

Sky and Noodle's future three-year-old daughter from Kyoto, Japan. She's hyper, full of mischief, and sweet. Noodle didn't like her at first, but Kika won her over. She tends to wear in Noodle's nerves. Never seen without Sky in novels and specials. A nail bitter, adored by all, a bit clumsy, and a heart stealer, this daddy's little girl is full of sugar and spice. A karate master. She has a dog named Junji and her favorite toy is her pink slang shot.

    Sweet and innocent, this 18-month-old girl is girl is Claudia’s daughter. She will fall for Little Stu-Pot later in life.

Born: Tokyo, Japan

Age: 8

    Michael's little sister. Thinks she the cutest of the group.  A real bookworm. Sees Noodle as a rival. A total goof ball.

    A fifteen-year-old mortal Gorillaz fan from San Diego, California. Brave and resourceful, she thinks 2-D is hot, Russel and Noodle are great, and Murdoc is stupid. Gets along with the roadies and other fans. Alicia’s best friend.

Age: 23

Del's girlfriend. Here are her stats:

Birthday: November 6, 1977

Religion: Christianity

Talent: Rapping, Free-Styling

Favorite Food: Chicken

Hair: Black, in a high pony tail

Eyes: White

Skin: Blue

Clothes: Usually in baggy jeans and a white tank top

Attitude: A lil' rude, but nice

Born: Tokyo, Japan

Age: 14

    The "eye" of the group. He is always filming everything. Michael and Joey are good friends. He is also Aneko's grandson.

    Tough and brave, this eleven-year-old American from Baton Rouge, Louisiana who likes Michael and Joey. Although nice, she will beat up Mike and Joe.

    Sky's mother from Pyongyang, North Korea. Mongni's a fiery woman. She is not afraid to speak her mind at any time. Mongni is tough on her son but she cares for him.

    The "cat mistress", her father turned her mother, his mistress, into a cat when she was pregnant with her because his wife discovered the adulterous affair. Mya cares and defends cats. She herself turns into a cat. Mya tortures Murdoc for setting fire to cats. But she cares greatly for him.

    This 17-year-old Italian-black girl moved to London from Milan, Italy and stole 2-D and Murdoc's hearts. Really charming. Likes to be called "Pan-Chan" by 2-D. She is a great pianist. She likes 2-D and Murdoc a little bit.

Born: L.A., California

Age: 23

    2-D's girlfriend. Used to a total blonde. A real reporter, this girl can keep a conversation going on really long. Used be weak under her brother's power until she became independent. Gave birth to 2-D's son. Doesn't think marriage with 2-D is possible.

Born: Richmond Virginia

Age: 26

    Oldest of the Frary siblings. He used to be afraid to fall in love until he met and married Gracie. He can sing, but the lights aren't really on up there. Really charming. Helps 2-D out a lot. He is a professor at a British university.

Born: Seoul, South Korea

Age: 14

    Noodle's boyfriend. A young Korean bandit. He likes to get into mischief. A total romantic. He carries around a potion that if he puts it on his wrist, he'll grow six years older. He and Noodle cancel each other out. Knows Korean, English, and Japanese. Like Sumi, He is a rare character in the stories I will write.

Born: Hiroshima, Japan

Age: 12

    Unlike Noodle, she can speak real good English, so she can translate for Noodle. Joey's friend. Has physic and healing powers. Can transforms into a woman but she doesn't know about this ability yet. Has a crush on Murdoc. Sweet and gentle. She is a rare character in the stories I will write.

Born: London, England

Age: 2

    Reese and 2-D's son. Cute little thing. Throws things at Murdoc for fun. A bit of pain to take care of though. Almost looks so much like his father. Loves to be around both his father and mother.

Born: Richmond, Virginia

Age: 19

    Youngest of the Frary siblings. Wise and charming. He has two loves. Helps 2-D out a lot. Like Sumi and Sky, He is a rare character in the stories I will write.