wow.
so as i shed away the insults and death threats like old skin, the same thoughts peer out of their mental hiding place like prairie dogs on the plains of some boring countryside. oh, no need to worry my dear and faithful readers, this new wave of verbal assaults will never penetrate through my infamous pessimistic armour. you people (people being the vague term used for the collective masses of bone and plasm, thinking up and sending these binary bullets my way) must understand one simple and very plain ideal.

i never said it was ok to be raped.

i hope that's not too hard to comprehend.

"Woah, did he just say something else? He's got it coming!"

although it is quite amusing to read these painstakingly manufactured and rehearsed hate notes (i'm certain there is one to be about my mother sooner or later), they don't seem to be serving their original purpose. Or are they?

as my ever-faithful audience explodes in population due to this unexpected publicity, i'm sure to be reaching out to my loving assailants and asking a simple question -

"Did it make you feel better?"

because basically that's what i'm here for. contrary to what you may have heard, i'm not comic relief (although there are a few pictures of me in a bathing suit creating quite a ruckus), and i'm no sort of literary christ here to save you from the mass of popular opinion (although i do try). i'm here to take your beatings. your waves of ferocious fury. go ahead, indulge in that rage you've locked away inside. all of it, send it my way.

tell me my parents never loved me. you'd be feeding the beast.

i'm waiting for the photo finish, for the winners to be awarded and we all go home. problem is, no one knows why we're running. what is the drive to pump and sweat and tire to run the same circles until we die? is there a prize at the end that no one decided to tell me about?

well, until i find the flyer or talk to the judges, i'll just wait on the sidelines and watch the silly escapades of entertainment. and until i reach out and touch you with my insignificant tentacle of self hatred, realize that i'm here to bring you down.

and from now on, you may address me as Mr. Bin Laden of the Open Diary community.

cheers.