by Ruth Senter

I wish I'd known earlier that your feelings are fragile too.
You seem so strong, so self assured and confident.
I guess I thought hurt bounces off tough skin.
Until one day I saw tears in your eyes when I lashed out at you.
Now I try to slow myself down before I speak,
and imagine what my works will do to you.

I wish I'd known earlier how easy it is
to take you for granted
I guess I thought you were so committed to me,
it didn't matter how I treated you.
Until one day I humbled myself enough to say,
"I'm sorry I've been treating you so badly".
And in your gentle way you said,
"You knew I'd still be here for you, didn't you?"
Now each day I try to remember your friendship is a gift.

I wish I'd known earlier how much little things matter.
I guess I thought in a friendship
you could get away with minor oversights.
Until one day I realized
small omissions had added up.
I was overlooking you!
Now I try to pay more attention to the details.

I wish I'd known earlier that hurt never takes care of itself.
I assumed a wound on the inside is like a scratch on the arm.
Give it a few days and it will clear up.
Until one day I realized my hurt had been festering.
The infection had spread to other areas of our friendship.
Now I try to talk with you about hurt when I feel it.

I wish I'd known earlier how much you need to hear the words,
"I appreciate you."
I guess I thought "I love you" would do.
Until I told you something specific I liked about you.
You smiled and looked like you could take the world.
Now I try to compliment you more often.

I wish I'd known earlier we can both win.
I guess I thought it had to be either my way or yours.
Until one day I won an argument at your expense
. You seemed down on yourself for the rest of the day.
And I realized we'd both lost.
Now I look for ways we can come through disagreement
with both our spirits intact.

I wish I'd known earlier that how I treat you
affects how I feel about myself.
I guess I thought how I treat you only affects how you feel about yourself.
Until one day I made an unreasonable demand on you.
Afterward, I didn't like myself.
Now I try to ask: How will my actions toward you today
affect how I feel about myself tomorrow?

I wish I'd known earlier the power of a memory.
I guess I thought we could simply erase the painful scenes between us.
Until one day I pushed the erase button
and the scene didn't go away.
Now I am more conscious of creating experiences
we will both enjoy remembering.

I wish I'd known all this earlier. But I'm glad at least I know now

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