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I remember it like yesterday
what you did
what you gave
don't polish it now
don't think I won't call you
on it
don't think I won't remember
every step every word every
breath
I'm sorry if it hurts you mama
sharper than a serpent's tooth you said
don't bother scraping off the mold
as green as it is it won't make you
dead
and the knife mama too dull to cut
through
I know it hurts you to see me here
like this
don't you know it hurt me too
yeah well I'm tall now mama
and I can see too
oh but years ago
I only came to your knees
and that meant I should
only be seen
so that red bandanna you snatched
from your head
the smell of gin and the weight of lead
pulled tight around my throat as you
said
sometimes I wish you were dead
thank you mama for what you gave
and if I seem ungrateful
remember that day
I followed you small but brave
after you shoved me away
I knew you had to mama
it was the only way
and you even did it in the light
of day
on St. Charles Avenue
for the world to see
not realizing that kid behind you
was me
I saw you mama and you lied to me
when I asked for new shoes
the kind that weren't free
damn you child money doesn't grow on trees
so we stood in line for what you called
commodities
or was it silver cans of peas
who knows
nowadays it's government cheese
it's hard to swallow
when you've got that hand
around your throat
but you already know that mama
because I'm strong now
you made me that way
it wasn't the bandanna though
no not that day
it was what you gave that man
and got in return
to me it looked like enough money
to burn
so you see mama there is a lesson
to learn
and when I remove my wrath
from around your throat
if you live to tell
then remember this note
I don't cry now mama
for what you did
I'm tall now mama and you're the kid

Copyright © 2002 by Shannon Gleeson