Kris Kovick



Kris Kovick's 'Chez Kovique'

Welcome to Chez Kovique, where the least self-assured, least self-entitled, least-feeling of us all gets the big rosy floral wing-backed chair, and a huge steaming cup of coffee, a baked potato, a slab of buttery grilled salmon, asparagus shoots, and peach pie for dessert. Vanilla ice-cream is self-serve. Now, tell Uncle Kris about your sex life...



Kris Coffee, or the Famous Kovick Sit-down-and-tell-me-about-it Colon-cleansing Fluffy Faggy Frou-frou Cuppa Joe

Many of us remember Kris' coffee as a phenomenon unique to Chez Kovique. Well, I observed and noted her recipe, and have- in her absence- been forced to perfect it and write it down.


First, buy Turkish ground (to dust-powder fineness) French Roast coffee from The Cheesery - hey, no excuses, they ship anywhere!

Next, pour boiled filtered water through a melita or paper filter containing 3 heaping teaspoons of this black gun powder either directly into the cup, or if you want to make designs in the foam, into a coffee warmer or thermos; mix this in a 6 oz ceramic cup with about 1 tablespoon good honey, and about 1 tsp vanilla- the cheap Safeway kind that has alcohol- not the Rainbow Grocery fancy organic alcohol-free stuff- and then add hand-frothed whole milk or half-and-half. Make sure you have froth on top. Note: this doesn't work nearly as well with soy milk, but if you must, use Vitasoy vanilla. If you saved out some coffee in your coffee warmer, pour a little heart through the foam. Last, sift (gently shake) a little cocoa powder over the top.

This is the sit-down and read The New Yorker type of cup of coffee, not the hit-the-road to go sit in a traffic jam type of cup of coffee, if you get my drift. It could be used as a nuclear-bomb-power diuretic in the emergency room at SF General, but thank the gods Kris is not alive to hear me say that.



Still to come (hopefully) on the Prix Fixe menu du Kovique: