I’m Stupid


I miss you
I love you
Girl you were my life, my mentor.
Even when you fucked up
When you were a no good bitch.
I felt deeper for you than any friend I’ll ever know.

So why can’t I pick up the phone?

I told you my secrets
I let you see inside my soul
You’re my sister Bitch
were did you go?

So why can’t I call you?

We lost girl
We feel apart
each of us in our own shit.
We should have been there for each other Jen.
We should have loved each other.

I can’t call you.

But we didn’t
We didn’t care
We moved on
You to your kids
Mine to...something

Why can’t I call you up?

I know why.

Cause it wasn’t suppose to be this way.
I don’t know if you know this, but I used to look into the future.
And you know what I saw?
A lawyer, a teacher, a rich women with a $500 suite.
Someone to take care of me.
I was the one on the streets
Living from one pay check to another.

I’M SORRY

I should love you
But I don’t want to be the one to succeed
THAT WASN’T THE FUCKING PLAN BITCH
You weren’t suppose to fuck up
Why did everyone see it besides me?
It was O she’s pregnant, I’m surprised she didn’t have any sooner

I just want to scream
Why can’t I call you?
Why can’t I be apart of your kids lives?
I should be taking care of them
Like they were my nieces
My blood

I know why and I’m sorry God, my soul, my conscious.
I’m so sorry mother
I just don’t want to let go of that girl I learned to love.