"Now, Miss, I know it can't be true,
But I've heard such strange tales of you,
I've seen a picture someone's done
(And though I know it's meant in fun),
It's really quite an awful sight,
You look as though you've had a fright,
Your frame is thin, your head is BIG,
And someone's written, 'It's a Wig!'
I know exactly how you feel,
Of course, I know your hair is real.
There's talk about your age as well,
And though it's difficult to tell,
I know you can't be thirty-six,
With all your energy and tricks.
They doubt your eyelashes as well,
They're not false, are they? I won't tell!
And then there's talk about your voice,
I tell you, if I had my choice,
I'd listen to it all day long,
Especially when it's raised in song:
I thought I'd give you all this news,
So I could get to know your views......
What's that, you say? Your patience fails?
A hundred lines, for telling tales ???"
by
Shirley Frances Winskill 1988
