Is
Love Forbidden in Islam?
Written by: Souladvisor
Love isn’t forbidden in Islam, quite the opposite is true, even in regards to the feeling we have for the opposite sex. What is forbidden in Islam is to ACT with misappropriated behavior because of that love. Also to STIMULATE, CREATE or to REMAIN IN circumstances, which motivate that love, and corrupt it with human desire is unfortunately where we often take our feelings, and what we often do with our feelings. This should be avoided and regulated from within our breasts.
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "A
wise man is the one who calls himself to account (and refrains from doing evil
deeds) and does noble deeds to benefit him after death; and the foolish person
is the one who subdues himself to his temptations and desires and seeks from
Allah the fulfillment of his vain desires".
[At-Tirmidhi].
Love can be just a strong feeling for someone righteous, but if I distort that love it is a sin, “not the feeling in itself”. The same is true for holding in our hearts the opposite feeling (hate). It is not the feeling itself, which can be controlled, but the action because of that feeling which can and should be controlled. What we feel is another way Allah SW test us. All our desires and feeling where put there by the will of Allah to test us. {...that He may test you, which of you is best in deeds...} [11:7] We are the ones who corrupt the love Allah put in our hearts. Also societies insistence in relating this natural strong human emotion with sex is the reason we have such a hard time sorting out our notions about it when we feel it. We question the feeling in regards to halal and haram, but only due to societies corrupt image of what surrounds this pure and “innocent feeling”.
Who we meet is Allah’s Will, and who we love is also Allah’s will. Our ACTIONS BECAUSE OF THAT LOVE that what brings out the true status and nature of the person. "So whosoever does good equal to the weight of an atom, shall see it. And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom shall see it." [Soorah 99 : 7-8] We should question ourselves two ways here: ‘1. Am I acting in an inappropriate way because of what I feel?’, and 2.’Aam I leading someone else to act in an impropriate way because I show them what I feel, or they know what I feel?’ If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then we have to back up and fix it. It is he who created life and death to see which of you is best in action (Soorah Mulk 67:2)
Some times we have desires, sometimes we feel like dancing and laughing in the streets, sometimes we feel like ripping off our hajob knowing we have the same beauty as the Kafr, sometimes many things come to our hearts and minds, how we control those thoughts and feeling is Submission to Allah. And who is better in religion than the one who submits his face to Allaah and is a doer of good? (Soorah Nisaa 4:125) He is the knower of all that which is the heavens and the earth, all that which is in the skies and the lands and the oceans. He the Exalted also knows what is concealed in the breast of men. So this is what we should do is CONTROLE WHAT WE FEEL! This is the key to success
Shaykh ul-Islaam ibn Taymiyyah
rahimahullaah, talked about control in this way. I hope you benefit from this. I did greatly.
[Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely he was one of Our chosen, guided slaves.
As for the wife of al-‘Azeez, it was because she was and her nation were polytheists that she was afflicted with passionate love. No one, and no one is afflicted with passionate love except that this diminishes his singling out Allaah Alone for worship and his faith. The heart that repents to Allaah, fearing Him, has two routes by which it can remove this passionate love:
1) Repenting to Allaah and loving Him, for indeed this is more satisfying and purer than anything else, and nothing will be left to love along side Allaah.
2) Fearing Allaah, for indeed fear is the opposite of passionate love and removes it.
So everyone who loves something, with
passion or otherwise, then this love can be removed by loving that which is
more beloved to compete with it.[9] This love can also be removed by fearing
the occurrence of a harm that is more hateful to one than leaving this love. So
when Allaah is more beloved to the servant than anything else, and more
feared by him than anything else, then he will not fall into passionate love or
find any love that would compete with his love of Allaah, except in the case of
negligence or at a time when this love and fear has become weak by his leaving
some of the obligatory duties and by performing some of the prohibited actions.
For indeed faith increases with obedience and decreases with disobedience, so
each time a servant obeys Allaah out of love and fear, and leaves a prohibited
action out of love and fear, his love and fear becomes stronger, and any love
or fear of anything else besides Allaah will disappear from his heart.]
See how beautiful his words are? This is the true love; the love for Allah, the Master of the Universe.
The believers are:
"Those who turn (to Allaah) in repentance; that serve Him, and praise Him; that wander in devotion to the cause of Allaah; that bow down and prostrate themselves (in prayer); that enjoin good and forbid evil; and observe the limits set by Allaah - so proclaim the glad tidings to the believers." [9:112]
Also,
"The believers will be
successful. Those who humble themselves in their prayers; who avoid vain talk;
who are active in deeds of charity, who abstain from sexual relations except
with those joined to them in marriage or (the captives) whom their right hands
possess, for (in their case) they are free from blame. But those whose desires
exceed those limits are transgressors. Those who faithfully observe their
trusts and their covenants; who (strictly) guard their prayers: these will be
the heirs who will inherit Paradise, to dwell therein." [23:1-11]