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G is for Gramma We saw Gramma Funnelcake 5 times!!! We acted like teenies around her. It was kinda funny cause we could talk to the guys, bodyguards, Steve, band members, etc. but Gramma Funnelcake's presence put us in awe. The first time I saw her I took a picture of her from behind ten feet away, but the film was lost. Val yelled really loud "There's Gramma Funnelcake!!" on New Years. It was quite the opener to the New Millenium. She had on a teal jumpsuit. It was CrUnK.
H is for Harless Lynn Harless, Justin's mommy. That's Mommy Crunkness to you. We saw her fro a lot. It was bright orange. We saw her with BOFF. We think there is a little sumpin sumpin goin down. We saw her with Veronica, Nikki, and Mandy of Innosense. Val said "Hey there's Mommy Crunkness" right to her face. We saw her with Veronica and Nikki another day. Some guy asked where Britney was. He meant Spears. I said "I'm right here! Crrrrraaaaaaazy!" very loudly. Mommy Crunkness doesn't wanna grow up. She still dresses like she's 20 actually.
I is for I wanna, I wanna, rock with Ruben Our first night in paradise we met Ruben. He had a drink with us. Apparently we gave him our cell phone number. None of us remember, but he called the next day. We went to his room. He had LOTS of hair products. LOTS. Lance called while we were there. There was a very nice view from Rubens room... Rubens room... the view...Rubens room. He played us a new *N SYNC song. He wrote it. With Lance. He wants to play guitar for the BSB. Lou Bega hit on him in Vegas. He hates Fargo. He has bad nasal congestion. Val sat on his bed. He creeped closer. Val got up. He went to visit Lance. He left us in his room for over an hour. He was nice. The slumber party was a no go.
J is for Juvenile Juvenile sings "Back Dat Azz Up". Its the Official *N SYNC National Anthem. Here's a list of everyone we sang this to:
Justin
Fritz
Steve (A LOT)
Dre
Lonnie
Asswipe aka Erik Garbus
the eletric car driver
Lance
Joey
everyone who walked by us on New Years
Emmett
George
There are more, but I can't remember them all right now.
K is for Knocking on doors at 4am.
***Before I add anything else, I want to say that Jen wrote about this on her site and people felt the need to call her "stalker" and such other names. I would like to state right now a few things before I write this story. I am not trying to brag, but when Joey looked out his door and saw us, he KNEW WHO WE WERE. WE WERE NOT JUST RANDOM PEOPLE KNOCKING ON HIS DOOR. DO NOT CALL US STALKERS***
Ok, on to the story cause it's FUNNY.
We met two guys named Fred and Larry. They told us Fatones room number. I told them what I thought of all the members of *N SYNC. I mean REEEEeeaaaaallly thought. (Like for example that JC is a crackhead) Fred is JC's cousin. OOOOPS. Sucks to be me. We knocked on Joey's door. He answered. His girlfriend was there. We had to go. I called and apologized. I didn't get him in trouble. Apology accepted. Later later.
L is for Lorenzo Sexy Sexy Sexy.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
contrary to popular belief Lorenzo is NOT associated to *N SYNC in any way, shape, or form. Stay away from scary men in Vegas named Lorenzo. Good night.
M is for Millenium Happy...New...Millenium............Millenium. Here are our Top 10 best and worst things about New Years.
BAD
10. We paid $35 extra dollars for the New Years concert just to see them do a 10 second countdown and hug each other. Keep in mind the countdown was the same one we watched from Times Square 3 hours earlier.
9. We were late for the concert, and missed Asswipés stellar opening act performance. *SNIFF*
8. Steve was NOT there at midnight.
7. We didn't get the good ZOOOM on Gramma Funnelcake and Lonnie.
6.The bars still closed at 11
5. All the random pictures and video tapes that people took that we are on
4. Steve wouldn't bash the uke
3. There wasn't an official countdown for the New Millenium and we didn't have Steves bright yellow watch to tell us the time, so we guessed
2. We seemed to be the only people excited about the new Millenium
1. We made TOTAL asses out of ourselves.
GOOD
10. Maybe Steve wasn't there at midnight. He was there at 12:47 and stayed with us the rest of the night
9. We told Steve about his Fan Club
8. We sang " Stever looks good wanna back dat azz up, you're a big fine Italian wanna back dat azz up"
7. Steve let us wrap the feather boa around his head repeatedly
6. Tyler was drunk and he wished us a Happy New Millenium....Millenium. JC probably beat him 5 minutes later
5. We spent $86 on our nights refreshments. Courtnie, Val and I drank forties to be like Justy. Eight of them to be exact. Other drinks included Mudslides, cheap champagne, pina coladas, white russians, Coronas, and diet coke.
4. We made $40 in tips, and a bottle of champagne.
3. We were all together
2. I got "Deaf Guys" hat.
1. We made TOTAl asses out of ourselves.
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