Adventures with Idaho Alan
For all those of you who were unfortunate enough to leave Kt's birthday party early (i.e. before midnight)... this is the lovely story relating the events that followed there after.
So it all started out, wednesday.... austyn looked like crap, as usual. kt had a party and we frolicked down by the river, saw a firework meteor, had wild lesbian spoonageness, and were merry. then boys left, and we had more fun.
the adventure began when we decided to go to denny's for foodage. we didn't go to sheri's because it's the spawn of satan. we had sugar shots, met marsha the waitress, had some weird arse quotes, ate moons over my-hammy, austyn got voted off the island and made friends with marsha, she was then voted back on the island, though it was a close call with johnny depp (mmm). oh, also betsy ross and/or ross perot. kt poured tabasco sauce over everything, two hermits moved away from us, and then these two BASTARDS who worked there gave us this miniature slot machine thing. kt and kyla used it, and it SHOCKED them. she nearly died and/or sued. kyla thanked him for the "shocking experience".
then we went to hollywood video, and when we discovered it was closed, we sat in the parking lot and played loud music for a while. then we ventured to winco, where the adventure really began. we went in and proceeded to play volleyball with the big bouncy balls in the giant buckets (where i live). then we played secret agent for a while, did the shopping cart dance, and bought a ball with feet on it. we went in the parking lot and played some more volleyball, then went back in and had our picture taken by the pinatas by the forklift guy.
Then our venture continued even further when we had frickin awesome cart races and half spirited volleyball games...when, suddenly a voice from above (actually it was the jack in the box drive thru) bellowed,"Knock it off unless you're cute girls then nevermind!" Then our mystery man drove over and started being "a guy" Eventually the crotch-blinking man and his friend came over and joined the par-tay as well. So things lead to things and we all decided to depart...or so we thought...
Well, as it turns out, we decided to "go to the park." In other words this means "let's see if we can drive really fast and lose this guy." So the chase began, we thought at first that maybe he would not be that patient or think that we were incredibly unbalanced, and ditch following us. But alas, this guy, Idaho Alan, was rather desperate and toughed it out. Even when Renee decided to pull over and turn her car off, Alan was not fooled. So on we fled, trundling through school zones and bottoming out at unsuspected pits of water in the ghettos of Richland. After Renee pulled a ghetto fabulous 360 turn in some random parking lot we told him to keep on following us, even though he looked really confused, he surely but slowly followed our lead. The plan was to meet at Matt's house and pretend that there was a party. When of course there wasn't we said that, with the help and expertise of Austyn, that the party must have been canceled. Needless to say he still loved us and would have probably kept the chase, but we decided that our time had come to head on home, and from there we departed and the chase closed.
Sadly, that is the close of the story. Needless to say we miss Idaho Alan a lot, but we hope that he found some real friends in Idaho, and that he learns not to litter quite so much. END
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