Battles Twenty-Six to Thirty:
This group of battles were my first masterpeices. If you read any here,
read #26!
Battle Twenty-Six: BLOOD UPDATES!
or...The introduction of Plot
Date: September 2, 2001
Setting: The forest of no Return
keys (much eepness)
Player: SalMon
I AM SALMON, THE ALMIGHTY RULER OF ROCK--TYPE
DIGIMON!
Salmon...you're a fish.
I AM NO FISH! How dare you mock ME!
SALMON, you're a FISH.
I'm not a fish! Im a DIGIMON! A ROCK TYPE
Digimon!
SALMON, YOU'RE A FISH.
OAKFISH: SalMon! Are you ready for your journey
to survive in water? Your gills await! Lets go!
I AM A ROCK!
FISH!
ROCK!
LEMON Appeared!
FISH!
Hey, another digimon!
Oh, brother.
LEMON: J0.
o.o; lemme guess...you're the king of fruit.
LEMON: Nope. whatever made you say that?
><
LEMON: I govern all thin thingies. Cant you
see that Im a peice of paper?
Of course! Lets go-
YOU ARE A FISH AND A FRUIT!
DEMON appeared!
Eep.
LEMON: Hey, another one!
J0! DEMON!
DEMON: j0.
>< This is so lame...
DEMON: I am the king of pointy objects. Cant
you tell? After all, I'm a scissor type myself.
Excellent! Let us go on a quest!
YOU ARE A FISH!
LEMON: Ahem. He is a rock,
YOU ARE A FRUIT!
LEMON: I am paper, and he is scissors.
HE IS AN EVIL LORD FROM HECK!
LEMON: Rock, Paper, Scissors
FRUIT!
Hey, I see a game in the making here.
DEMON:...let us go on a quest.
YOU ARE-
Digi-things ran!
>< Guess I better follow them.
Setting: Circle path
Player: LeMon
DEMON: Didnt we just pass that rock twice?
WELL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ON A ROAD CALLED
CIRCLE PATH?
Salmon! Next time give ME the map.
I guess FISH dont have enough BRAIN CELLS.
SALMON: I AM A-
I AM A-
YOU ARE FOOD! LEMON BELONGS IN MY FRIDGE!
LEMON BELONGS SQUEEZED OVER A DISH OF SALMON!
mmm...
EEP! RUN!
Digi Tasty morsels
ran!
Narracrow, next time when you want to eat
demons, eat PsychicJack.
I DID NOT MEAN HIM!
Dont worry about it. Once I had an uncontrollable
urge to eat the Sunday paper.
View/Post
comments on Battle #26
Battle Twenty-Seven: In which
Salmon, Lemon and Demon...go yonder
Date: September 3,2001
Setting: Oval Path
Player: Demon
My GOODNESS, what a progression! YOU LEFT FROM
CIRCLE path to go to OVAL path!
>< LEMON!
LEMON: It's kind of hard for paper to hold
a peice of paper.
...OR A FRUIT TO HOLD IT!
Narracrow, you are really getting on our nerves.
Awwww, but I wanna play that 1337 game!!!!
LEMON: Rock, Paper, Scissors,
FRUIT!!!! HA HA HA! *snort
DigiThings ran!
>< Im NOT following them this time.
OH YES YOU ARE!
><
Setting: Square Path
Player: Salmon
>< DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE A PROBLEM?
Hey! Its a SQUARE! We wont be going in circles!
NO, YOU'LL BE GOING IN SQUARES!
LEMON: o.O
DEMON: o.O
A SQUARE PATH STILL HAS NO BEGINNING OR END
><
D'oh! Demon, I thought you explained that
was the NAME of the path ><
EVIL LORDS FROM HECK USUALLY LIKE to bring
you astray!
DEMON: I am not an evil creature from Diablo.
HA! THERE YOU GO! PROOF! HOW WOULD SCISSORS
KNOW ABOUT DIABLO?
...
LEMON:...
DEMON:...Maybe cuz I play it.
.....oh.
Heh heh, Narracrow. Anyway, lets go find Triangle
Path...
YOU FOOLS!
Setting: Evil Dark Castle(probably
made less threatening from the Fuzzy Sock hanging on the doorway)
Player: Evil Lord(probably made
less threatening from the fact that he's a clipart of Vivi)
BWAH! THOSE FOOLS! I SHALL REIGN SUPREME! AND
ONLY THOSE SILLY DIGITHINGS KNOW!
What? Those things KNOW SOMETHING?
YES! THEY KNOW THAT I AM THE BEST AND SHALL
REIGN SUPREME!
NOT EVEN A NARRATOR WILL STAND IN MY WAY!
First mistake: Extensive use of caps.
Second mistake: Threatening me.
uh-oh...
EVIL CASTLE CRUMBLED FOR NO APPARENT REASON!
><
EVERYTHING IS TOTALLED!...Except Fuzzy Sock!
Now to figure out what those things didnt
tell me...
Setting: Hexagonal Path
Player: Lemon
J0, Narracrow!
>< WHY MUST YOU CHOOSE THESE PATHS?
Anyway, what do you know about evil lords?
Oh, there is one in a big castle who has the
nuclear power to destroy the entire version.
!
He has a booby trap that sets them all off
in 20 seconds after his castle is destroyed.
GULP!
Setting: Evil Dark Castle
Player: Evil Lord
CASTLE fixed itself!
What? But it was destroyed!
Yes it was!
And it...just got better?
YES!
Ah.
^_^
Darn it, now I have to trigger the nukes manually...
>< Oh no you dont!
NUKES were sent to-
<Flashfire> I dont do crosses in any form.
NUKES were sent to-
<MrKite15> Cant send em to Liquid, portal closed.
><
OK! AUCTION! Shall we start the bidding at...mmm....300
Ski-Ball tickets?
SALMON: 400!
Hey! Those are mine! 500!
ASH: TEN MILLION!
...
...
...
YOU FOOL! You dont have ten million ski ball
tickets!
ASH: ...
Well, take em anyway...we need to get rid
of them.
WHAT?
Hey, evil lord....psstpsstpsst
Ah, okay ^_^
EVIL LORD detonated NUKES!
ASH: Eep.
ASH became the first VISITOR to ANOTHER GALAXY!
Setting: Elsewhere
Player: Another Galaxy
Good lord! A *sniff* VISITOR! OH IM SO HAPPY
TO SEE YOU!
ASH: ><
ACK! ITS AN ASH GET IT OFF!
ASH: WAAAAAAAA WHERES MY NEXT MOVIE DEALLLLLLLLL!
ASH went....Elsewhere! PERMENANTLY!
Da end.
View/Post
comments on Battle #27
Battle Twenty-Eight: You cant
teach an old character new lines.
Date: Sept. 16, 2001
Session Start: Fri Sep 16 23:07:14 2001
*** Now talking in #Blood Version
*** Topic is 'Go here -> [www.pokebattles.com/blood]
Blank space which won't be used to mention Nostradamus | WTC Nostradamus
quote is an Internet hoax, people. http://www.dreamscape.com/morgana/91101.htm
| Today's todo: Wait until tomorrow: my birthday ^^'
*** Set by MetalMike on Sat Sep 16 05:05:13
*** ChanServ sets mode: +setting IRC
*** ChanServ sets mode: +player Lemon
What the HECK is THAT???
Lol.
...Guess that means this battle is taking
place in IRC.
...does that mean I get to slap people with
trouts??
For the version's sake....YOU are connected
through the applet.
Darn.
*** haunter_uk has joined #Blood Version
*** ChanServ sets mode: +player haunter_uk
ITS ABOUT TIME!
eh?
I've been neglected in this hellhole of a
version for 15 battles! 15!
LOL!
...shut up, you cruel narrator you.
CRUEL??
Narracrow would NEVER be cruel!...Narracrow
simply DOESNT GIVE A DAMN!
...anyway, I was forced to join IOA-
What?????
Inanimate Objects Anonymous.
MURRAY: Bwah.
What???
Just my way of gloating.
Right.
So, how is IOA? lol
You DONT want to know ;_;
*** flashback has joined #Blood Version
*** ChanServ sets mode: +setting flashback
GAVEL hits the table!
TABLE: Stop hitting on me, accursed object!
GAVEL: Order in the doghouse!
Nooo!!! Here we go again ;_;
AL GORE: I tell you, i am not dead yet.
TABLE: This isnt hell, foolish man!
Hell, IOA, close enough.
TABLE:....there's no Matt.
*** FlashFire has joined #IOA/Hell
*** ChanServ sets mode +o FlashFire
TABLE:....hn.
GAVEL: I say, order in the doghouse!
DOGHOUSE: Waiiii???? We're partying in here!
GAVEL: Well, for one, it confuses the readers
when I say that.
Yes. The TRUE setting is hell.
FUZZY SOCK: I AM NOT INANIMATE! I move when
feet are in me.
GAVEL: Baka, Fuzzy Sock. You are sentenced
to stay here.
GAVEL hits the table!
TABLE: I said, I have things to do tonight!
Im not inanimate either!!!! I dont even BELONG
in this version!
GAVEL: Oh we- WHAT???????????????????????????????
TABLE: Where do you belong?
Sandy.
GAVEL: Fwah. The version where the Narrator
is trapped in a COMMA?
Well, at the time of this flashback, yea.
GAVEL:....AH HAH HAH HAH HAH
...I happen to like Sandy.
GAVEL: HAH HAH HA----ha?
GAVEL hits table!
TABLE: IF YOU REALLY MUST KNOW I ALREADY HAVE
A DATE TONIGHT!
GAVEL flew backwards!
GAVEL hit haunter_uk!
* haunter_uk dies
;_; ouch.
DOGHOUSE falls on HAUNTER_UK!
* haunter_uk dies
;_; much pain.
GAVEL flew the other way and hit table!
TABLE:...i give up.
*** flashback has quit IRC (All done, sir MetalMike. Now where's my cash?)
o.O;; Thank god we waited to show that until
SVWebmaster lost his powers.
SVWebmaster lost his powers???????
MURRAY: Bwah.
...you have an odd way of gloating.
MURRAY: BWAH, ACCURSED MORTAL!
PORTAL from NSHADOW appeared!
SEAL fell through the portal!
OMG OMG! Its a seal! Just like the pet one
I had at home!
OMG! That seal is one of the ones that bound
my second cousin in Shadow!
HAUNTER_UK ran off with the seal!
EVIL THING! I SHALL DESTROY YOU YET!
*** haunter_uk has quit IRC (Yay, a pet ^^)
*** Narracrow has quit IRC ( EVIL SEAL! )
...
The end, k! go away, baka.
...
...
Oh, right. We arent done yet.
Setting: The forest of no return
keys(help!)
Player: Salmon
Well, my brave and loyal friends, we have reached
the end of our quest.
THIS is where you started.
hn.
Oh well.
View/Post comments on Battle#28
BA7713 TW3NT33-|\|I|\|3: The
Beginning of Two
DA73: October 2, 2001
P7AY-URRH: Hardhat
S377I|\|G: Blood Feild
...Blood Feild. Could you think up anything
LESS original?
Yes.
Well, PLEASE dont. Thanks.
Anyway...IOA appeared!
...Huh?
Inanimate Objects Anonymous: WE HAVE CAME
TO TAKE OVER THE VILLAGE!
RANDOM ORC: They're destroying our city!
What city?? Its a feild!
RANDOM ORC: Iwouldnotdosuchthingsifiwereyou!
..um?
OA appeared!
...Huh?
...Overeaters Anonymous!?!?
You're in the wrong place.
BUS DRIVER: I knew it was a bad idea to stop
at the McDonalds. Now my bus is too heavy to turn.
IOA: DURAN! DURAN!
...Omg, IOA's working for Zerg! I MUST TELL
THE KING!
LEMON appeared!
LEMON: Yes?
The hell? I need the king, not a lemon.
LEMON: Hey, Im really PAPER!
...and? Is the king paper?
LEMON: squawk
DEMON appeared!
Why the hell do I get everything I DONT want?
DEMON: well, I AM the King of sharp pointy
objects.
...scary to think of a demon with a sharp
pointy object.
DEMON: Gah!
IOA: Why the hell does nobody ever listen
to us?
'cause your INANIMATE. You dont talk.
IOA:...You better start listening. We have
a way to wreak havoc here in Blood.
HAUNTER_UK appeared!
HAUNTER_UK: And how exactly do you plan to
do that?
IOA:...um....
IOA: DURAN! DURAN!
...Shaddup with Duran! CerebrateAmra's troops
kill him in Jurai #2.
IOA:...er....THE OVERMIND!
-.-
IOA: Anyway, we have a plan to suck all your
useful characters into an empty VOID!
...You dont mean.... *gasp*
THE WALL!
SALMON: THE WALL
LEMON: THE WALL
DEMON: THE WALL
HAUNTER_UK: THE...WHAT???
The wall! Back before Blood Version was formed,
MetalMike got into a battle with a Virus and....
CLICK HERE FOR THE LOGS. OR DONT. DOESNT MATTER TO ME. :P
...yea.
HAUNTER_UK: =.- What the hell was that?
SALMON: It was the only reason we all exist!
IOA: And the wall, a.k.a. GigaVirus, is the
only thing blocking the void! MWAH HA HA HA!
IOA ran!
Ack! Follow! HURRY!
BUS DRIVER: I'd offer my bus but I still cant
move.
Setting: Void Feild
Player: Haunter_uk
-.= Void Feild?
URRH.
IOA: You're TOO LATE, FOOLS! We have rigged
the wall with explosives. It will suck a few characters in before MetalMike
sees it and closes it(accursed PhotoShop.) And then, the real vegenance
starts; we've rigged it to open a portal later in there, and suck half
the version into empty space. MWAH!
SALMON: You know, its REALLY freaky when you
talk in unison like that.
IOA: ...That should be the LEAST of your worries.
HARDHAT:..uh, BYE.
....hey! Stay here and fuight!
LEMON: Fuight?
Im obsessed with mispelling words with the
leutter 'u'.
DEMON: Im gone.
LEMON, HARDHAT and DEMON ran!
SALMON: I shall stand and fight, for I am
BRAVE!
WALL exploded!
SALMON: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
SALMON ran!
Gahu!
....gahu? Cant i spell gah right?
HAUNTER_UK fell into VOID!
Setting: MetalMike's room
Player: MetalMike (no, really.)
Alright, finished the 'excuses why I cant write
for Blood' list. Now to actually WRITE for-
GACK!
Where the hell is haunter_uk?
AND WHERE IS THAT WALL?
Oh, sorry. You want to know what happens dont
you.
TOO BAD.
YOUR FACE.
:P
View/Post
comments on Battle #29
Battle Thirty: Rebellion
Date: October 13, 2001
Setting: Blood Town Square
Player: Lemon
DEMON: STOP WETTING THE PAPER!
Do I have a choice? Im the only one who knows
how to write.
DEMON: Yes, but we didnt ask you to write
in LEMON JUICE.
Hey, this is PAPER PULP!
JACCOCHION: Trust me, I know Citric Acid when
I see it, Bluhahaha.
It is NOT acid.
DEMON: Well, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO WRITE IN LIQUID
ANYWAY?
Because thats the way I do things!
DEMON: Whatever, but you’re still wetting
the paper.
METALMIKE appeared!
METALMIKE: What are you writing?
Fwah, MetalMike! It is finished! Behold, our
own DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!
METALMIKE: ...pathetic.
BEHOLD!
Pre-Ramble:
METALMIKE: Its not a PreRamble, its a preamble
-.-
Shaddup.
Forescore and seven yea-
METALMIKE: You fools, thats the wrong thing!
SHUT UP!
LEMON used WIPE!
LEMON JUICE was WIPED OFF!
It is PAPER PULP. -.-
When in the course of character events, it becomes necessary for one group of random objects to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with the webmaster, and to assume among the powers of the IOA, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Blood and the webmaster entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of characterkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the division.
METALMIKE: OI.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all characters are created equal, that they are endowed by their Webmaster certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Wins and not Losses.
METALMIKE slaps his head in frustration!
Hit 1 time!
METALMIKE: Why are you trying to seperate?
Because here the only possible fate is to
be sucked into a VOID >_<
METALMIKE: Urrh, do you want to see how they
are doing?
DEMON: You mean....Salmon?
METALMIKE: Of course. Come on.
Setting: MetalMike’s Hard Drive
Player: MetalMike
Look, you foolish Digithings. This html document
contains Ghost version. Your friends are safe.
LEMON reads GHOST VERSION!
DEMON: I’d read, but im being distracted by
the contents of this hard drive.
SCARY SPRITE LEERS at you!
Dont look at them, I rejected them after quitting
my comic.
LEMON: But WHY the Deb/Megaman cross sprite??!?!
SHUT UP.
DEMON: Hmmm...C:\hentai-
DO NOT TOUCH.
LEMON: Ooo! A folder with all the jurai missions!
LEMON began to play SC!
STOP, JERK!
LEMON dropped SC!
SC fell into GHOST VERSION!
Well, at least the Vivis’ll be happy...
Setting: Void Feild
Player: GigaVirus
Urrh....where am I?
IOA pulled you off of VOID!
You became NORMAL AGAIN!
METALMIKE: You may go under one condition:
UPDATE. NOW.
Fine -.-
PORTAL to ECLIPSE appeared!
GIGAVIRUS stepped through!
Battle ended!
