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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. -- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. -- W. C. Fields (1880-1946)

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. -- Miss Manners (Judith Martin)

Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted. -- Hesketh Pearson