Disclaimer: I dun own Pokemon. I'm not makin' any money offa this story. If I owned Pokemon half the characters would be dropped and it would consist of Takeshi, Kojiro, Satoshi, Shigeru and Nyasu traveling together and Shigeru and Sato-chan would make out a lot. n_n The story itself is (c) Kim Smith 2000 and should not be distributed or posted without permission of the author. If you want to put it somewhere just email me and I'll most likely say yes.
This is my first real slash or yaoi story.. Be easy on me! Takes place at the Indigo Plateau when Satoshi is 21 and Shigeru is probably 22 or 23.. I know I probably screwed up on the math but feh. It's Shishi, btw also known as Palletshipping (which is the most EVIL WORD). If you don't like the idea of two boys together den SCRAM!
Satoshi.
Before I can even think of hurrying away before he sees me, the pikachuu on his shoulder spots me and pats its master's face. Brown eyes turn on me and dark brows twitch in surprise before a grin breaks across his face. K'so! He's coming over here!
"Shigeru-kun!" he calls as he approaches.
My stomach sinks into my shoes as he nears but I find myself glued in place. What now, Ookido? It's been so very long since I've seen Satoshi that my defenses have dulled and no sarcastic or rude comment leaps from my throat. His eyes are brilliant as they always have been, he's grinning like an idiot. Appearantly for him the past is forgotten as is our rivalry... But what about our friendship? I feel a pain in my chest as he comes even closer, stopping in front of me. He looks different than the last time I saw him. He's grown up so much... But he's still got those bright brown eyes, that wild black hair and those smudgy cheeks.
"Satoshi," I reply with a very faint smile and a slight nod of my head. I can't even bring myself to call him Jari-booi. Not when he's such... such a man now. "Long time no see." Well that was lame.
"How are you, Shigeru?" he asks earnestly. Shimatta, Satoshi... Damn you and your pure heart...
Judging by the way his mood subdues slightly, I assume that my detatched facade is working.
"I'm fine. Just heading back to my hotel room."
"I'll walk with you!"
I wince inwardly but nod. My thoughts race as we begin to walk but I still can't bring myself to take on my rival persona. It's been too long and I'm too out of practice. So instead I find myself slipping back into the role of the person I was before all that, before we became trainers and we were just two young boys, two best-friends.
"Congratulations on your latest win," I say quietly. Satoshi gives me an apraising look out of the corner of his eye, as though unsure whether I'm the real Shigeru or not.
"Thank you," he says slowly and then brightens again. "But I couldn't have done it without Pikachuu!" He grins, affectionately rubbing between her ears and she chirps happily. "Are you here with Sensei?"
I nod again.
"And you? Are you still with your travelling partners?" Yes, it's a rather stupid question. That was over five years ago.
"Iya," he replies. "Kasumi is a pokemon doctor in Hanada and Takeshi lives in Kagetsu. I'm here alone..."
The last sentence pounds its way into my heart word by word and my jaw tightens, fighting against the guilt that's been gnawing at my soul for so long. He doesn't notice, the blissfully unaware creature that he is. Even after six years of aging, he still emenates innocence and niavitee. Six years... Strange how it seems time flew. Six years since the last time I competed in the League, eight since Satoshi and I set off for our journeys and our rivalry began. Since then I've seen him a couple times but each time just reminded me of the reason I turned on him and the self loathing it brought up in me was unbearable. But even as I avoided him more and more, our rivalry seemed to fade away until we somehow ended up on semi-decent terms.
"Sensei tells me you're working out by Otsukimiyama," I hear Satoshi say from somewhere deep inside my thoughts. I turn my attention back on him. "He says you're doing quite well for yourself. You always were ahead of yourself, Shigeru." He grins and I can't help but smile faintly in return.
"I'm not much more than an apprentice," I reply quietly. After dropping out of the Pokemon League, I worked under Ojiichan for a while and eventually developed an interrest for extinct Pokemon and joined the field of palentology. "It's you whose done well for yourself, Satoshi. You're going to make it this year, I'm sure of it. You're going to be the Pokemon Master."
I cast my glance away when his eyes turn on me, wide and surprised, an expression mirrored by his pikachuu.
"N... Nani?"
"I said you're going to win this year. I'm sure of it. You've got talent, Satoshi."
"Arigatou..." he manages to sputter.
For a moment we walk in silence, the sun dipping lower behind the mountains in the background. Now that we're here, talking like civilized human beings for the first time in so long, something is gnawing at my heart.. I can't keep the guilt out, it eats its way through my defenses.. And then my mouth is working on its own,
"Satoshi." I come to a halt and he stops as well, turning to me with large, expectant eyes.
"What is it, Shigeru-san?"
My own name seems to tear into my soul and I close my eyes briefly, fists balling at my sides.
"Satoshi... I'm so sorry about Hanako. And I'm sorry I didn't come to the ceremony. I should have been there for you. Just because we were rivals didn't give me any right to forget the friendship we had before. Forgive me." I bow my head slightly, closing my eyes again. A moment of silence passes and I hear Pikachuu's quiet chirp and open my eyes to discover Satoshi's no longer in front of me. Glancing around, I discover that he's sitting on a nearby park bench, looking stunned while his pikachuu pats his face worriedly. Hesitently, I approach and sit at the other side of the bench silently.
Shimatta! It kills me to see him like this... it always did. Every insult I shot at him, every time I sneered at him, a little part of me died. But it was all I knew to do... it was the only way I felt like I could protect myself... And him. I couldn't marr his innocence, his perfection. And what made it all worse was how well we fell into the roles of rival vs. rival. Our friendship, the depth of our relationship, seemed lost...
"What happened to us, Shigeru?" Another one of those bludgeoning queries.. "Didn't we used to be such good friends? Is it just my imagination or did that actually happen?"
"It happened, Satoshi," I manage to whisper. My voice feels caught in my tight throat. Has he actually realized that what we went through wasn't the normal course of aging? That there was more involved than a simple rivalry? Sato-chan... Don't do this, don't make me tell you...
"Then what happened? Why did you decide to hate me, Shigeru?" His clear brown eyes are clouded with pain and confusion as they turn on me and pierce my heart.
"Satoshi..." His name is choked and the world is swirling around me surreally... I feel as though I'm watching this all from outside myself or perhaps even dreaming it. Like I have no control over myself or the words that come out of my mouth... I can't say it. Don't say it, Ookido! "I didn't hate you, Satoshi. I don't hate you. The farthest thing from it."
His expression turns wary, reproachful. He looks at me skeptically almost.
"What do you mean?"
It's all over before the words are even out of his mouth. Leaning forward slightly, I very softly press my lips to his. I feel him stiffen and hear the crackling of alarmed electricity sparking around his pikachuu's cheeks but for some reason she doesn't shock me. He doesn't respond to my light kiss but a moment later his mouth dissapears and suddenly a very sharp pain strikes across my jaw. I wince, falling from the bench and nursing my jaw where Satoshi just punched me. Chikushou... It was nice while it lasted.
"Bakayarou!" I look up at him and find him standing over me, breathing heavily. His pikachuu glares at me viciously from the park bench. Satoshi's fists are clenched at his sides but tears stand in his eyes and I'm not sure whether his expression is wounded or furious. "Idiot," he spits again, eyes narrowing and then his voice drops to a whisper. "Shigeru, you idiot. How dare you."
The sun has set and the lavender light of dusk is heavy on the horizon as Satoshi's footsteps thump lightly on the pavement as he runs from me. His pikachuu scampers after him, crying in alarm. I watch them go silently, still in an undignified heap on the ground. I expected nothing less... Honestly, I'm surprised at how well he took it. I was expecting at least a few stronger names.
Perhaps this was innevitble... Secrets can only be held for so long. And as much as it tears my heart to shreds to see his retreating form, a part of me seems slightly more at peace now. No more secret to hide, only the aftermath to deal with. A certain burden has been taken off my back. But still, even with my secret, there was still a tiny hope in my heart that someday if I did tell him how I felt that I'd discover his feelings were the same. But not all dreams come true.
Saiyonara, Sato-chan. I hope you're happy wherever you go. Be safe.
Sequel?
