Life is very depressing, sometimes.
You're on your way out the door, without anything at all. I know that it was
my choice to stay home while you went out to work... let's face it, I feel
better cleaning up.
But its like we're not even in love anymore...
I walk to the front door, and wave as you go down the drive.
"I love you,
Shigeru. Have a nice day, at work! I'll see you when you get home!"
He looks up at me, and smiles for a fraction.
"Good bye, Satoshi."
Though I'm smiling on the outside, I'm not within. He didn't even say I love
you...
I close the door as he starts the ignition.
**Gonna take a minute for my morning meditation But I'm on the phone call... waiting... click... done Under an invasion I feel like I'm a spinning ball in a lottery cage**
I sigh. As much as I'd like to sit and pout and watch TV all day, I have
chores that need to be done, and errands that need to be run.
"Pikachu." My pokemon sighs from her seat on the barstool.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't ever given up training... at least then I'd have
something *proper* to do with my days.
"Want to go grocery shopping and pay the bills?" I ask her, trying to make it
sound like more fun than it actually is.
"Pika."
I smile.
"Thanks..." I hug her and set her back down.
"Let me get my keys and then we can be off..."
The phone rings and I race to catch it; I can't even find the cordless...
ahh, there it is! I grab it right in time, or so that's what it feels like.
Of course, I'm on hold, and a recording speaks in my ear. Since it's about
our mortgage and the bank, I decide to stay on the link.
**If we aren't making love how can we be lovers? Gonna post a vacancy sign under the covers Before it gets to late I'm gonna say Stop what you're doing and love me now I'm making my move come on and love me now**
Being on hold gives you time to think about all *sorts* of things...
I'll need to mop; the floor looks a little grungy... there's laundry to do.
Should I put it on before I go to pay the bills? I need to add Pikachu's chow
to the grocery list...
The music they're playing right now is driving me crazy...
Music...
Shigeru played the guitar, once. I think he gave it up after he got himself
an office job.
That, or he just gave it up when he got together with me...
I sigh.
That just doesn't seem right. But... what else am I supposed to think?
Everything seems to have gone down the drain... I gave up training for him,
and... what's the point? There doesn't seem to be one at all...
I love him... I know I do... I just don't know if he loves *me* anymore...
Or if I've become just a stable point in his life; one that needs no
upkeep... I don't know if I can do this.
We haven't even made love... in forever... and I just don't think that's
right. We shouldn't be tired of each other. Not this soon... I don't even
remember what his touch is like anymore. And his kisses...
We've only been together for three months...
This shouldn't be happening.
I don't have time to think on it anymore, because a *real* person comes to
talk on the other end of the line, and I have that to worry about and keep me
busy.
**I come home so tired just wanna put my feet up You watch Letterman and eat something old I heat up Then we both fall asleep before the rooster starts to crow No time to fight we pretend love is so sweet When all we're missing is what's between the sheets Used to find an hour between start and go**
The day is long, and by the time I'm home I have to start on my work there,
right away. I'll have to make dinner... at least tomorrow is Saturday. That's
a small miracle...
"Pikachu, sit up here while I sweep and mop. Don't want you to slip and
slide..."
She sits on the stool near the pantry as I seem to meander through the
kitchen.
I need to find a way to reach him, again...
Because I know tonight will be like. He'll come in, we'll eat... he'll stay
up late watching TV, and I'll fall asleep beside him.
At least I'll wake up in our bed...
At least there's not.
So much has changed... and I want it to go back the way that it was before.
**What ever happened to staying up all night? When the bed became our island and it was just you and I Our troubles would slip away when we said**
You're eating dinner quietly, reading through your mail. I sip at my soup,
and your voice calls me to you.
"I have to go into the office tomorrow."
I nearly wail.
"But it's Saturday."
You sigh.
"I know. But Oikawa-san has been on my back... I shouldn't be too
late, Satoshi."
I bow my head and nod. I don't feel like fighting. I don't feel like arguing
loud enough that our neighbours will hear it.
I think you're surprised when I submit and nod...
**Stop what you're doing and love me now I'm making my move come on and love me now Time... time... Time... time... time... Are we beating the time? Just you and I, magic ride**
I want to just yell at you; scream. Do something to get your attention... but
the weekend has begun as any weekday. I woke to make breakfast, and now I'm
seeing you off down the drive...
This just isn't fair, Shigeru.
I'm going to save our relationship, Geru-chan.
I'm not going to let it all fall apart.
I just need an idea; that's all... something simple.
"Maybe I should do something nice for dinner..." I say, sitting down in the
living room. The TV is bright with Saturday morning cartoons.
"Pika!"
I smile.
"I don't think Shigeru wants a vat of ketchup! But... I should make
something nice. His favourite... You know how he is about Chicken Parmesan."
"Pika... pikachu."
I grin and pat Pikachu before she crawls up onto the head of the couch. Yes,
a nice dinner... and something else...
"You're going to love me again, Shigeru, whether you like it or not."
**If we aren't making love how can we be lovers? Gonna post a vacancy sign under the covers Before it gets to late I'm gonna say Stop what you're doing and love me now I'm making my move come on and love me now**
You sputter a bit.
"Satoshi... what's all this for?"
"It's a celebration... because I love you." I reply, moving towards you. I
wind my arms around you, and look up into your eyes.
"I don't think we tell
each other it often enough, Shigeru. And... I know it's silly... but I need
to hear it."
I finish that softly, and then he pulls me closer against him.
"Oh Satoshi..." he groans. "I didn't know. I-I..."
I kiss him, and it seems to help. I can feel the tension loosening in your
muscles, and you return the kiss intently, passionately.
"I love you, Satoshi."
"I love you too, Shigeru..."
And it feels so good to hear it.
"Dinner now, then. Sit down... I'll serve you well." I grin, and he *blushes*
as I help him to sit. I linger and hug him, kissing his neck.
I pull myself away, reluctant. I bring in the dishes from the kitchen,
setting them out...
"It smells delicious." He says.
I smile, appreciative.
"I know you like Italian..."
"This is amazing. I don't deserve it... Satoshi..."
"You do too," I reply, forcefully. And then we sit down to eat.
**Stop what you're doing and love me now I'm making my move come on and love me now**