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Denzel Uncomfortable With New Haircut

"It just isn't black enough"

Hollywood, CA - Movie star and all-round surprisingly black male Denzel Washington showed a strong distaste for his new haircut at the 75th Academy Awards show last night.

"I don't feel comfortable in it [the new haircut]," revealed a disgruntled Denzel, "and I don't feel that it properly reflects my African culture and heritage. Really, what it boils down to, is that it just ain't black enough."

Although many onlookers at the ceremony Sunday night tried to comfort and console Washington, he wouldn't have any of it.

"Don't patronize me. My people and I survived decades of hell under slave labor in the fields working for the man. I think I can manage one shitty haircut."

Some bystanders questioned Denzel about the origins of the haircut, but he was less than forthcoming with details about the scenario.

"All I will say is that I loathe the man who gave me this hair cut. And that I would not consider him my 'brother.' In fact, he was probably some closet racist or something. All I know is that this mistreatment of an outstanding member of the black community is a travesty and reflects poorly on our society as a whole. And I don't even know how that bastard got through haircutting school."

When a person in the crowd told Denzel that he agreed that his hair was shitty, Denzel became quite disturbed.

"Oh, I see now. You don't like me--BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!?!"

-- Courtesy of Casual Gamer News Service