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J.Lo's Butt Gets Key to NYC

Here we see J.Bu orchestrating Jennifer's career from behing the scenes (left), and coming out to greet fans at her awards ceremony (right).

New York City - Pop sensation Jennifer Lopez's behind has finally come front and center. J.Lo's popular rear has been honored by the city of New York with a special 'city key' and a new holiday.

Lopez's rump, according to a press release, should now be referred to as J.Bu (pronounced jay-boo). J.Bu was present, along with Lopez herself, to receive the award in New York. The Mayor was also on hand and presented the 'key' to J.Bu at the ceremony.

"We are all so very proud of J.Bu," started the Mayor, "Knowing that she has come up from the Bronx and gone on to achieve her greatest dreams. J.Bu is certainly a big role model for us all."

J.Bu was given a large fake key and a medal to comemorate the occasion. It was also announced that October 1 would become J.Bu Day for citizens of New York.

J.Bu's accomplishments in the arenas of pop music, dance, and acting are now widely recognized and admired. It is rumored that Jennifer Lopez's career is owed specifically to the genius of J.Bu. Supposedly, J.Bu initiated talks with record companies, movie studios, called on Ja Rule for some collaborations, and even wrote or co-wrote many of J.Lo's radio hits. J.Bu takes credit for J.Lo's memorable fragrances, including the new Glow parfume line. It is also rumored that J.Bu is very hard to get along with, and is to blame for J.Lo's many failed relationships.

Many fans attended the ceremony, and expressed their support for J.Bu's work.

"J.Bu rocks," declared fan Emily Drole. "She is just such a strong role model, has a great attitude, and demands only the best for herself. She totally got big on her own strength. Even when there was no one else, she could rely on herself to pull through. She totally rocks."

"J.Bu is totally hot!" exclaimed Jay Whey. "I can totally understand why the public is so fascinated with her. She is a total sex symbol, man."

Others attending the celebration were more cynical.

"This whole thing is asinine," complained a frustrated Calvin Coors. "J.Bu is just not that big of a deal. I think this whole thing stinks."

Members of the press probed J.Bu for comments, but she declined to make a statement. Only a faint odor of rotten cheese could be detected coming from J.Bu's general direction.