*** THE CASUAL GAMER ***

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LEGENDARY BATTLE ENGINE! : UNO

TIGER vs. TIGER

--VS--

Here we see the two contenders in their natural habitats. While Tiger (right) prances around golf courses all day, the tiger (left), named Ben, mocks Tiger by saying, "you may look like sweet, chocolate man, but you no taste it. You taste salty."

Anyone who's anyone wants to know: Who would win in a fight between a Tiger and Tiger? Well, in the premiere edition of LEGENDARY BATTLE ENGINE!, we explore this question and provide you, the curious mind, with answers. The match between Ben and Tiger took place in an enclosed steel cage with the families of both participants left on the outside to view the ensuing carnage. The Gong has been struck. Time to begin! LEGENDARY BATTLE ENGINE! GO! GO! GO!

Round 1: Ben circled Tiger as Tiger cringed in complete and utter terror, clutching his golf club and crying for his momma. Then Ben leapt on to Tiger, slicing his pretty boy face like a paper shredder to Kleenex. Tiger howled in pain as blood gushed from his fresh wounds. Ben laughed to himself as he licked his victim's warm blood off of his paws. Ding Ding. End of Round 1.

Round 2: Tiger began the round by laying on the ground, deep within shock and bordering on seizure. However, he quickly snapped out of it as he heard the sound of his skull cracking under the massive pressure of Ben's jaws. Tiger momentarily regained some composure, just long enough to swing his club as hard as he could at Ben's ribcage. Thud. Then nothing but the sharp pain of Tiger's brain melting under the hot breath of Ben's enclosing mandibles. Tiger's weak attempt at redemption had failed miserably, and now his cerebrum was paying the price. Ding Ding. End of Round 2.

Round 3: What a sad state that Tiger began the third round in. He lay motionless on the cold cement, with his family left sobbing on the other side of the cage, powerless to stop the coming storm. Meanwhile, Ben contemplated just how he wanted to disembowl his latest victim. Onlookers mentally visualized Tiger's imminent funeral as Ben used his paws to give Tiger a cleaning even an undertaker would be proud of. Blood soaked Ben's fur as it gushed out of Tiger's lifeless body. The cold, hard cement floor of the cage got a fresh, warm coat of red paint. Ding Ding. End of Round 3. End of Match.

Well, there you have it. The obvious winner was Ben the tiger. Tiger Woods, even with his numerous endorsement contracts, had no chance in hell. Which is probably where he ended up after the match. Another day another question answered. LEGENDARY BATTLE ENGINE! GO! GO! GO!