*** THE CASUAL GAMER ***
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Ghetto Dogs
"Where's the cheese, man?!"
Ah yes, the infamous Ghetto Dogs. Ever so wholesome and good, if you have no tastebuds or sense of smell. These little bastards are the scourge of the food world. They are made of only the oldest left over pork and turkey by-products, supplemented with random cheeses, potatoes, chilies, ketchup, mustard, and beans. The whole mess is cooked and (hopefully) disinfected in the microwave. People who eat these things are know as "Eaters of the Damned." How do I know so much, you ask? My brother is one such "Eater of the Damned." He knows no limits to his madness, and he will stop at nothing to further his disgusting conquests. What will it be tomorrow? Ghetto Dogs with butter and barbecue sauce? With gravy and grits? Or mashed potatoes and marmalade?
Stay as far away from these as you possibly can. They are the most horrible things on the planet. They will only ruin your tastes forever and send you spiralling into the depths of insanity, followed by bouts of scurvey and diarrhea. Don't give in; don't let yourself become an "Eater of the Damned."