*** THE CASUAL GAMER ***


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Mt. Dew vs. Mt. Lightning

Mountain Dew Vs. Mountain Lightning:
Duel of the Tastes

One claims hundreds of victims every year with its addictive nature, the other is made by Mexican children in a sweat shop: Which is better, Mountain Dew or Mountain Lightning? It is a question as old as time itself, but the answer is now revealed here:

Mountain Dew: "The Dew" is already an established beverage of choice by many a teenage boy. Many champion it for its caffeine high or its sweet sugar rush. The minority (me), it seems, enjoys it simply for the taste. It has a smooth citrus flavor that goes down easy and provides excellent belching opportunities. The caffeine is unnecessary, but is a welcome bonus. It also seems to grant the drinker mysterious powers, such as the strength to challenge mountain goats to duels or to rap as quickly and accurately as one Mr. Busta Rhymes. The only drawbacks seem to be possible addiction and citrus acid. Drink too much of this stuff and you will either be controlled by your lust for it or you will melt away your stomach lining like ice cream in Egypt.

Mountain Lightning: "The Lightning", or "Kaboom-Kazaa", as it is sometimes called, is basically the bastard child of Mt. Dew and/or Mellow Yellow. This Sam's Choice (that means it's good, right? Wrong!) beverage is clearly a knockoff of "The Dew." It tastes similar and looks identical, but do not be fooled so easily. It is not as smooth or rich, and the balance of citrus flavor is just not quite right. It could do in a pinch, say, for an addict of "The Dew," but it is not worthy of a dedicated following. Stay clear and pick up some "Dew" instead. You know it is weak when you can get a 2 liter of it for a quarter.

And the Winner IS - MOUNTAIN DEW by a long shot, the long shot of the day in fact. There's a lesson to be learned here: Don't mess with a huge installed base and an extreme marketing campaign aimed towards young adults, pre-pubescent geeks, and stoners.

Rating: "The Dew": Transcendent, "Kaboom-Kazaa": Garbage