*** THE CASUAL GAMER ***


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Taco Bell Put To The Test

Taco Bell: Stomach Paradise or Gastric Torture?


Everyone's favorite fast food, or diarrhea's greatest accomplice? Such is the question of Taco Bell. Aslo known as "T-Bell" by some experts, Taco Bell is a restaurant chain that is both famous and infamous across the land. It's tempting foods will draw you in, but at what price?

I myself have been a frequent visitor at known Taco Bells not too far form where I live. I find the food quite refreshing, for the most part. I don't vary my selections too often, because I have found what I like, and the rest does look kind of like shit. Actually, most of what is on the menu is just a bunch of stuff that varies slightly from everything else on the menu. Everything has the same main components: beef, chicken, rice, cheese, lettuce, beans, sour cream, etc. The real trick is getting the right combinations of those components.

You start with the basics like burritos and tacos, and build from there. Do you want chicken tacos, or a taco supreme? How about a grilled [sic] stuft burrito, or a 7 layer burrito? Your choices directly affect the outcome of your dining experience. If you make some poor choices, and you aren't prepared, you might as well buy a new magazine on your way home. You will need to have something to read while spending the remainder of the day on the john. It takes patience and experience, but you can make the system work for you.

One of Taco Bell's strong points is it's choice of beverages. They provide flowing fountains of never-ending Pepsi products, a huge plus for Mt. Dew addicts. The free refills are fantastic and come in handy for washing down your first few poor choices of food. If you are experienced in the ways of the Bell, then the luscious beverages only serve to enhance the dining experience.

The drawbacks here are simple but can be devastating. First off, Taco Bell's food must in no way actually be considered Mexican cuisine. It is cheap ass Americanized rip-off generic Mexican style cuisine. Second, if you have not built up a resistance to low quality greasy cheap ass Mexican food, then you are destined to spend some time on the shitter. Third and final, if you have not built a resitance up to Mt. Dew or its compatriots, then your stomach will burn like the fires of hell. Any of these things in combination could lead to diarrhea, paralysis, or even death in some cases. You have been warned.

Overall, Taco Bell is a great family oriented, fun-filled fast food joint. It is currently on my list of favorites, but that could change at any time. It is a quick fix for hunger, and maybe your life, but don't let that ruin your next great meal there. Have some pinto beans for me.