_Prologue_
When Jenna and Brian were young they used to play games where Brian was a gallant young prince and Jenna was a fair maiden in distress. Brian would ride up to Jenna on his trusty white stallion and tell her that he was here to save her. She would run to him and cry out "Your my hero" and they would fall desperately in love with one another. Together they would ride off to a far away place never to be found again. It was only a game to Brian but Jenna always believed that Brian would someday be her handsome Prince and save her from everything bad in her life and take her away far from any fear or pain.
As it ends up, that is just what he did.
_Chapter 1_
"Come on! I know you want to." Brian said with a whine. Jenna sighed and shook her head. They were sitting together underneath a large oak tree that was located at the end of a long field behind there houses wasting away yet another summers day. Lately they spent a lot of time there, just talking. They could talk to each other about anything.
"No, Brian. Don't you think we are getting a little old for stuff like that? It was fine when I was 5 and you were 7, but that was ten years ago! Now that we are practically adults, you are trying to get me to play Prince and Princess with you?" Jenna looked at Brian like he was crazy.
"It's not like we have anything better to do. Who is going to see us? We are way away from everyone. I know you want to. I can see it in your eyes."
"Even if I did want to, which I don't, that really isn't the issue." Jenna said forcefully.
Brian looked at her with his big blue eyes and pouted out his bottom lip.
"Stop that!" Jenna shoved him playfully.
"Fine, what is the 'issue'?" Brian mocked Jenna's word choice. She ignored the insult and answered.
"It's just that I am sick of always pretending. I have spent most of my life doing just that and now I want things to be real. It is time we started thinking straight. It's time to act grown up." Jenna got up and brushed some dirt off her pants. She started walking next to a stream that ran along the edge of the field. Brian got up and started walking with her.
"Grown up? Why do I have to grow up now? Who said I wanted to grow up at all?" he grumbled and bent down, plucked a piece of grass out of the ground and chewed on one end of it.
"There are a lot of good things about getting older." Jenna said matter of factly.
"Like what?" Brian asked skeptically
"How about the fact that every girl in Kentucky wants you. They didn't used to until you grew up and turned into a 'total babe'." Jenna used the phrase she heard used most among her school mates. Brian blushed.
"I am not that cute."
"Brian Thomas Littrell! Don't you lie to ME of all people. You know you are gorgeous. Every girl wants you."
"I know but I don't want to waste my time with them. I will know when I find my true soul mate because when I see her..."
"She will look beautiful and pure. Almost as if the light from heaven was pouring down on her. Like an Angel." Jenna cut in. Brian gave her a look but Jenna continued, "You must have told me that thousands of times. What if you never find her? What then?"
"I guess I will die lonely and alone." Brian said melodramatically. "That wont happen though. She is out there. I just have to keep my eyes pealed and find her."
"Yeah. Well, when you do please tell me. I will bake you a cake or something." Jenna said with a roll of her eyes.
"Why Jenna! I do believe that you are using your sarcastic voice and I do not like it one little bit."
"Yeah well what are you going to do about it?" Jenna got up in Brian's face. Brian smirked.
"This." He reached up and scooped Jenna into his arms and ran into the middle of the stream.
"Brian! Don't you dare drop me!" Jenna beat at his chest. "These are good clothes and I don't want them ruined. Put me down!"
"Oh, All right." He turned around and headed back onto the dry land but slipped on a rock and Jenna went flying out of his arms landing in the foot of water.
"Uh oh. It was an accident. I swear!" Brian said as he backed out of the stream slowly. Jenna snapped her head up in mock anger as she tried to control the laughter she felt inside of her. Brian took one look at her face and turned around and started to run.
"Yeah, you better run!" Jenna screamed after him through her, now uncontrollable, laughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I've got to get home. If my father is home he is going to freak out Bri. You know how he can get." Jenna hurried through Brian's yard to the fence that separated their two houses.
"Yeah I know. One of these days I am going to give him the bashing that he deserves." Brian pounded his fist into his open hand.
"Of course you will my brave prince. Then he will come and beat you senseless. I think that one of us is bad enough."
"I can't stand that someone would hurt you." Brian frowned.
"He hasn't hit me in a long time so please don't worry. You know I can take care of myself." Jenna looked into Brian's eyes to reassure him.
"I am always here when you need me." Brian said, still not convinced.
"I know. You always have been." Jenna kissed his cheek, unlatched the gate and hurried to her house. When inside she found no sign of her father anywhere. He had always been a man who would drink casually but it never became a problem until the day Jenna's mother left. One night soon after he went to the bar and came back more drunk than Jenna had ever seen him. She was in her room reading a book when he came staggering in. Before Jenna knew what was happening he had pulled her onto the ground and beat her into unconsciousness. As soon as she woke up she ran to Brian. He was furious but she made him promise not to tell anyone and he never had.
The beatings were not a regular thing but they happened enough that Jenna had eventually learned how to avoid them. She had become so good at it that she hadn't been hit in over a year. Mostly, she figured, it was because lately he was never around. He would disappear for days at a time. Jenna had absolutely no idea where he would go to and she didn't really care. She liked the piece and quiet. She liked that she didn't have to be afraid.
She quickly went to her room to change into some cleaner, dryer clothes. When she was done she sat down on her bed Indian style and picked up the phone to call her best female friend, Krisse. She dialed the number and let it ring.
"Hello?"
"Kris, It's Jen."
"Hey girl! How did the day with Bri go? Is he still clueless?" Krisse asked eager for every detail.
"Completely."
"I don't know what is wrong with that boy. I think you should put it on a little stronger. Show a little leg if you know what I mean." Krisse laughed and made a cat purring noise.
"Oh, you know I can't do that kind of stuff with him! He sees right through me. He knows I'm not like that. Besides, if he liked me like that, I would think he would tell me. He tells me everything else!" Jenna sighed and laid back on her pillows.
"All men are Idiots. Especially that boy. He should see how much you love him and I know that he loves you too. He just is too dense to know what he is feeling. It's like their brains develop slower in that area. You just need to give him a little help."
"All men are idiots huh? Even Kevin?" Jenna asked with a laugh.
"One of the biggest but he has a cute ass so it makes up for it."
Krisse had been dating Brian's cousin Kevin for almost 2 years now. Jenna thought about it and she was right. It had taken Kevin forever to see that Krisse had fallen for him even though everyone else thought it was pretty obvious.
"I guess I will just give him a little more time. I am not waiting forever though."
"You shouldn't! He doesn't deserve that."
Krisse and Jenna continued talking and after a while she started to feel tired. She told Krisse she'd call her in the morning told her good-bye. Jenna looked at the clock. It said that it was midnight already but she was feeling a little hungry so she got off the bed and headed for the kitchen. When she got there she found her Dad was standing in the doorway swaying back and forth. It seemed that he had just came home and he wasn't sure where he was.
"Dad... Your home." Jenna said softly.
"Yeah I am." He said in a loud, rough voice that made Jenna cringe in fear. "Looks like you didn't do shit today. Not that I expect much from you."
"What do you mean? The house is spotless. What else do you want me to do?" She asked, hoping this wouldn't turn out the way she knew it was going to.
"I don't want you to do shit for me. I just want you to stop being a whore."
"Dad please! I am not Mom. Don't get me confused." Jenna pleaded but he didn't seem to hear her. He raised his fist up ready to strike.
"Please don't!" He ignored her and smashed it down on her cheek. He hit her twice more in the face and then pushed her down on the ground and started kicking her. Jenna curled up into a tight ball and didn't fight it. It was all she could do now. After he was satisfied with her, he just got up and walked away to his bedroom and slammed the door leaving Jenna to sob on the floor
_Chapter 2_
As Jenna laid on the floor of her kitchen she could hear her father stumbling around in the other room. After a few minutes all noise had ended and she was certian that he had passed out but before she could be proven wrong she got up silently and slid out the door. Pain shot through her battered body as she made her way to Brian’s bedroom window. She quietly tiptoed around the back of the house and when she reached his room she put her ear up to the glass. It was dark and she could hear snoring coming from inside. Jenna tapped on Brian's bedroom window and waited. The snoring continued.
"Come on. I need you right now."
She tapped again, this time harder. A couple of seconds later the window flew open and Brian's head popped out.
"Jenna? What are you doing here? It is 1:00 in the morning."
"It's... " Jenna burst into tears.
"Jen, don't cry. What’s wrong?" Brian placed his hand on her chin and tilted her head up so he could see her face. "Omigod! He hit you again!" Rage filled Brian’s eyes as he helped Jenna climb through the window. As soon as her feet reached his carpet she collapsed into his arms and started sobbing. Brian held her as she let it all go. He stroked her hair gently and soon she started to calm down. He walked her over to the bed and sat down with her. She held him tight and wouldn't let go.
"What happened this time? I thought you said he had stopped! I thought you said you could take care of yourself!" Brian said angrily.
"Don’t yell at me! It isn’t my fault! He was drunk again. He thought I was my mom and started hitting me.” Another tear rolled down Jenna’s cheek. “It was never this bad before. I am so scared” Brian stood up qickly and walked to the window.
"I’m going over there Jen. He needs to learn a lesson!"
Jenna reached her hand up “Brian, please don't. Just stay here." Brian looked at her tear filled face.
"I’m sorry, your right." He ran into the bathroom and came running back with a washcloth in hand. He gently wiped away a tear that was falling down her face.
"Lay down." Brian said as he pulled back one side of the covers. Jenna laid back and forgot, for a while, what had just happened to her and enjoyed Brian's soothing soft touch. After he had cleaned her face he took the washcloth and pressed it against the bruise.
"Better?"
"Much better." Brian's eyes twinkled at this answer.
"Good. I’ll do anything to make it better." Brian said quietly as his face slowly got closer to hers and Jenna held her breath. Just as she thought their lips would touch Brian pulled back and turned around on the bed. Jenna reached up and touched his bare back.
"Is something wrong?"
"No. Well... it's just.. nothing." Brian turned his head back and smiled softly. In the moonlight Jenna thought he looked beautiful. He layed on the bed next to Jenna but stayed on top of the covers. Suddenly exausted, Jenna closed her eyes and rolled over. Soon she felt Brian's arms circle around her body. Shivers of happiness ran through her spine. Even though she knew that Brian was only trying to comfort her she couldn’t help but hope that maybe, just maybe, Brian was holding the one he loved.
_Chapter 3_
The sounds of soft snoring invaded Jenna's ear and slowly her eyes fluttered open. She looked to her side and found Brian still laying next to her. As she gazed at his sleeping face she couldn't help but laugh. His mouth was hanging wide open and his hair was sticking straight up in the back. Not wanting to leave his side she stayed in bed for a while, just watching him sleep. Eventually she had to get up to use the bathroom. She softly kissed his cheek and moved off the bed. Brian stirred and mumbled "Where are you going?"
"Just to the bathroom. You don't need to wake up."
"Mmm... ok." Brian slurred lazily and rolled over on to his stomach.
Jenna glanced at his butt and giggled softly as she walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. As she walked to the toilet she passed by the mirror and it made her stop. She turned slowly and lingered past it.
"You can do it. How bad can it be?" She encouraged herself. Taking a deep breath she stepped in front of it. What she saw made her gasp. Her right cheek was bruised and swollen. Her left eye was puffed up and there was a deep gash above her eye. Her eyes filled with tears as fell to the ground, curled up into a ball and started sobbing. Brian came running in.
"What's wrong? Are you in pain? Tell me where." He said frantically
"No, go away. Please!" She yelled angrily, hoping he would make him leave.
"Why? What happened?" Brian knelt down beside her.
"I just don't want you to see me. I'm hideous." Jenna covered her face. Brian wrapped his arms around Jenna in an attempt to calm her down.
"You are not hideous and all of this will heal." Brian assured her.
"You have to say that to me because I am your best friend."
"Because I am your best friend I don't have to say that. I promise I am telling you the truth."
"You really think so?" Jenna lifted her head up.
"I know so. Even if it didn't you'd still be the most beautiful person I know." Brian said as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Jenna's face filled with a smile. "That's better. That's just how I want to see you. If it'll make you feel better I can help you hide it."
"What can you do?" Jenna asked with a laugh.
"Ahh, I can do much more than you know." Brian lifted Jenna to her feet and led her to his bed.
"Wait here." He ran out of the room and soon came back with a big pink bag.
"What is that?" Jenna questioned.
"My mom's makeup bag. I figure there has to be something in here that I can use." Brian shrugged. Jenna's eyes widened.
"You are going to put makeup on me?" Jenna asked skeptically.
"Just relax and let the master go to work." Brian smiled.
"I really, really hope that you are not the master of putting on makeup."
“Didn’t you know that cross dressing on the weekends is one of my hobbies?” Brian grinned. Jenna gave in.
"All right, you win, just don't do any permanent damage."
Brian set to work and after about 20 min of Brian digging through the bag, circling around the front of Jenna, and dabbing at her face with a deathly serious expression on his face he stepped back and announced that he was finished.
"Go take a look." He told Jenna eagerly.
"I don't know if I really want to." Jenna smiled sheepishly.
"Have a little faith in me." Brian shoved her towards the bathroom. Jenna reached the mirror and gasped. Only this time it was because of what she didn't see. The bruise was invisible, the gash looked like a little bump and even though her eye was still puffy it didn't look nearly as bad.
"So?" Brian asked eagerly. "Did I do it right?"
"Omigod! It is wonderful. Thank you so much!" Jenna ran to Brian and flung her arms around his neck.
"Anything for you." He held her for a long time. Finally, he pulled back and stared deeply into her eyes. Jenna watched as his eyes changed. Before they were full of friendly love and now she thought they seemed more passionate. Slowly he leaned in towards her mouth and she closed her eyes but before Brian's lips met hers the phone rang. Brian pulled back quickly. He shook his head as if coming out of a daze, almost like he hadn't had control of his actions before. His eyes fell to the ground and he hurried to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey! It's Krisse. Do you know where Jenna is?"
"Uhm, yeah. She is right here."
"So early? Oooo... did something happen?" Krisse giggled.
"She just spent the night. Do you ever think about anything but sex?"
"Of course I do. I think about shopping. It is the only thing better than sex. Oh but wait, then there is sex after a good day of shopping. That’s the best!"
"I need more guy friends." Brian sighed.
"Oh you know you love us. We are to cute to hate."
"So true."
"Well, anyway. Kevin and I are coming over. We are bored and we want to share it with you."
"Wait, I don't know if that is such a good idea. We just woke up and..."
"Of course it is. We will be there in like 10 min." Krisse cut him off and hung up before he could object anymore. Brian cradled the receiver and turned around. Jenna was still standing in the same place as he has left her.
"Who was that?" she questioned softly
"Krisse. They are coming over I guess."
"Oh. Well, I guess I should go clean up then." Jenna turned around and walked to the bathroom.
"Jenna wait I... " Jenna turned around quickly.
"Yes?" Jenna asked, her heart in her throat.
"Nevermind." Brian sighed.
Jenna's heart fell. She closed the bathroom door and leaned against it. Jenna wondered if Brian could finally be starting to feel something for her more than friendship. It seemed like he was but maybe he just felt sorry for her. She walked to the mirror to examine the work Brian had done to her face. Only someone that really cared would do something like this for her but did he care for her the way she wanted or would she always be just fooling herself.
_Chapter 4_
"We are here!" Krisse exclaimed as she barged into Brian’s bedroom with Kevin following close behind.
"Hey all.” He said with a wave.
"Oh, hey.” Brian said with a little less enthusiasm than Krisse liked.
"Well, glad to see you too!" Krisse shot at him.
"Don't mind him. We've just had a bad night." Jenna said as she walked over to Krisse and gave her a big hug.
"Why? What happened?" Kevin asked concerned
"Why don't you ask Jenna?" Brian scowled. Krisse and Kevin both looked at Jen with questioning eyes.
"It's just my father again." She shrugged it off as it wasn't a problem.
"What? You mean he's hitting you again?" Krisse asked. Jenna nodded. "Oh, I see. That's 'just your father again' huh? Not a big deal right? I don't think so!"
"I know it's a big deal! I just don't want to think about it right now is all.” Jenna sighed and sat on the edge of Brian's bed. Krisse's eyes filled with anger.
"Well, you should be thinking about it! You should get help and you should get out of there." Krisse sat on the bed next to Jenna and put her arm around her. "I'm just worried about you. That's all. You look wonderful though. You don't look beaten up at all!"
"Thanks to Brian." Jenna pointed to the makeup bag. "He is actually quite good at the makeup thing."
Krisse looked at Brian, then to Jenna, and looked at Kevin. They both burst into a fit of laughter. Brian looked confused.
"What? What is so funny?"
"You... are... really... good... at... that!" Krisse exclaimed between laughs. Brian blushed.
"Come on! I was just trying to help."
"Your right. We really shouldn't laugh.” Kevin smiled. "What are you going to do then?" He asked now serious.
"Nothing." Jenna stated firmly.
"What if he does it to you again?" Brian asked concerned.
"Well, I always have you guys. You have always been here when I needed you."
"And we always will be! We all love you like a sister Jen." Kevin smiled and gave her a big hug. "Right guys?"
"Right!" Krisse chirped and then turned to Brian when he didn't say anything. "Right Brian?" Brian snapped out of his daze.
"What? Sister? Yeah... sister." He mumbled.
"Gah Bri! You have been in another world since we got here. What's up?" Krisse questioned.
"I just have a lot on my mind. With Jenna getting hurt and everything. I can't stand it."
"Are you sure that's all?" Krisse questioned skeptically.
"Yes I'm sure. Just stop pestering me." He snapped. Krisse knew it was best to let it be and she turned to Jenna and started talking with her quietly. Kevin pulled Brian to the side.
"Do you want to talk about this?" Kevin asked.
"Not right now." Brian looked at him. "Thank you though."
"No problem. You know I am always here." Kevin reminded him. Krisse jumped up and put her hands on her hips.
"I hate unhappy talk. Lets do something fun and get Jenna's mind off all of this."
"Like what?" Jenna asked.
"Uhm... how about we get some ice cream at the mall?" Krisse giggled.
"Yeah!" Jenna jumped up next to her.
"Remember us? The guys! Why would we want to go to the mall?" Kevin questioned.
"Because you love us both to death and you would do whatever you could to keep us happy. Besides, if you do I might be willing to do something fun for you later tonight." Krisse walked up to Kevin, wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a deep passionate kiss. She pulled away and Kevin grinned.
"Okay, Let's go!"
“Your so easy” Krisse smiled
"Wait! I need clothing. I can't wear this, I slept in it."
"Don't worry Jenna, I can go to your house and get some for you." Brian walked out of the room quickly as if he had been waiting for a reason to leave. When Jenna was sure Brian was out of hearing range she fell back on the bed and cried out, "He's so infuriating!" Kevin and Krisse looked at her puzzled.
"Umm... I'm going to go help Brian and let you girls talk." Kevin said and headed out the door. When he was gone Krisse sat on the bed with Jenna.
"What happened hun?"
"Nothing! That's just the problem. Last night I thought he was going to kiss me but he freaked out and again this morning he almost kissed me. I really thought he was going to but... I am just so frustrated! I am so close to giving up on him but I know he must love me. I feel it in me."
"He does, but maybe it just isn't meant to be hunny."
"Maybe so. I really wish I could just walk away but we both know that is impossible."
"You just need time. Time made you fall and time can take it away." Krisse tried to be helpful.
"I don't want it to go away. I just don't want it to hurt anymore." Jenna sighed and looked to the floor. Just then Brian and Kevin came back in, both with their arms full of clothes,
"Whoa, all I needed was an outfit, not my whole wardrobe."
"Like we know what you would want to wear, give us a break, we're guys." Kevin exclaimed and threw his pile on the bed. Krisse giggled, "If Brian can put on make-up that good, who knows what else he can do." Brian blushed.
"Leave him alone." Jenna smiled. She looked at Brian and asked softly, "Was my father there? Did he give you trouble?"
"I didn't care to look. I knew that if I saw him I'd end up doing something that I'd regret. Actually, I take that back, I wouldn't regret it, but I know you don't want me to interfere that way. We just went straight to your room and out."
"I appreciate that Brian. Like I've said before, I don't want you getting hurt. He could hurt you."
"Now I know I said enough with the sad talk. Lets get changed and go."
"Well, you better hurry and get read Jenna. If you don't get started now we might never leave the house." Kevin smiled, Krisse didn't.
"If I were you I would watch my mouth or you won't be getting any tonight, or ever.” Kevin's face dropped,
"You wouldn't really do that”
"Wanna bet?" Krisse challenged as she headed out the door.
"Wait baby! Lets talk about this." He called and followed her out of the bedroom. Jenna laughed and rummaged through the clothing. Brian came up behind her and laid his hand on her shoulder. She turned to him with questioning eyes.
"What is it Brian?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that I.. I.." Brian stuttered.
"You what, Brian? Just tell me." Jenna encouraged.
"I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry that this is the life that you live and I just hope that I can make it better for you." He said with a small smile on his lips. Jenna turned and rapped her arms around him.
"You, and Krisse and Kevin are all that makes my life good! I love you!" Jenna exclaimed and looked at Brian's face for a reaction. When she didn't see a change at all she added, "I mean, well I love you all. You know.. like family." she pulled her arms away from his neck and turned back to the clothes. Brian was confused as to why she had pulled away so quickly.
"Well, I guess I'll go wait with Kevin and Krisse."
"Ok.. I'll hurry. I promise." Jenna said quickly, hoping he would just leave without saying anything else. He did and she exhaled. She had almost fully admitted her love for him and he hadn't reacted at all. What did that mean? She shook the thoughts out of her head and pulled some clothing out of the pile and started to put them on.
_Chapter 5_
"Hurry Jen!" Krisse pulled her through the mall. "I don't want to miss him."
"Wait a minute! Jenna yelped and halted to a quick stop. What? Krisse asked with her hands on her hips You don't want to miss who?" She demanded.
"Oh, no one.. just a cute ice cream boy." She said with a sly grin.
"Oh no! I don't want you trying to set me up again!"
"I'm not trying to set you up. We are getting ice cream and he just happens to be working right now so I just thought that maybe you'd be into each other. It was a last minute thought.. totally not planned." Krisse smirked.
"Sure." Jenna said, not convinced.
"Ok. Well, he is 19 and has blonde hair and blue eyes and the cutest little dimples. Oh and his ass... my God!" Krisse giggled. Jenna had to smiled. "Come on, just say hi. That's all I want. Just a hi." Jenna sighed and gave in. Does he have a name?"
"Absolutely. His name is Ryan."
"Alright, take me to him." Jenna laughed and held out her hand. Krisse grabbed it and pulled her through the rest of the mall till they reached the ice cream shop. There found Brian and Kevin standing there, ice cream cones in hand.
"Hey there girls. You want some ice cream?" Kevin smiled.
"Yes we do.. but not from you guys. We are on a mission here and with you two hanging around like goons it isn't going to work. Skidatle." Krisse waved her arms at them.
"What's your mission?" Brian questioned
"Love." Krisse said and batted her eyelashes at Jenna. Jenna blushed and looked to the side. She hadn't really wanted Brian to find out.
"Come on Bri. Lets leave them be." Kevin pulled on his arm but he pulled away and turned to Jenna.
"Is this what you want Jen? Don't you think that it isn't a good idea considering what you just went through? " Brian looked at her with concern.
"Well, I... "
"Jeesh Brian! Remove the stick from your ass and let Jenna have some fun. She is just going to talk to him." Krisse cut in. Brian sighed.
"Fine, but just make sure you get her someone good to talk to. She doesn't need to be hurt any more." Jenna's heart flipped and she almost changed her mind but before she could say another word Krisse had grabbed her and pulled her into the line. Brian and Kevin walked away and went to sit down on a bench not to far away. Brian sat down and with intense eyes watched the girls every move. His ice cream started to melt and drip all over his clothes. Kevin looked at him and laughed.
"Look what you are doing man." Brian looked at his pants.
"Shit!" He jumped up and ran and got some napkins, throwing away the ice cream on the way back to the bench. Kevin was still smiling.
"What's wrong with you? You can't be that worried about Jenna. I think that it is about time that she had a boyfriend. Don't you want her to be happy?"
"Of course I do. I mean look at that guy though. He looks like he would just want to get in her pants. Krisse has the worse taste in guys."
"Hey!" Kevin looked at Brian. "She isn't that bad."
"You know what I mean. I just think this is bad timing and all. Maybe I should go stop her."
"No way man. Just leave them be." Kevin nodded towards them. "They seem like they are doing just fine to me." Brian sat down and kept looking at them. Kevin looked at Brian thoughtfully for a while. Suddenly his eyes went wide.
"I've figured it out. I know what your problem is!"
"Huh? My problem?"
"I never thought it would happen. I mean you went this long so I thought 'I guess he just doesn't want her'" Kevin said to himself.
"What are you talking about?" Brian punched his shoulder lightly and looked at Kevin confused. Kevin turned to him.
"It's just, have you finally fallen for Jenna?"
_Chapter 6_
"No, I did not fall in love with Jenna! You know I love her but not like that. You guys even said she is like our little sister."
"Sure Bri. I know what I see and what I see is a guy totally in love." Kevin smiled and licked at his ice cream.
"She is my best friend and I don't want anything to happen to her. That is all." He stated definatly.
"Sure thing cuz."
"Fine. Don't believe me."
"I won't." Kevin stuck his tongue out and then turned it to take another lick of his ice cream. Brian leaned back and stared at the girls. Him being in love with Jenna was ridiculous. She was just his best friend and he cared about what happened to her. That was all it was. That was all it could be. With these thoughts buzzing through his brain he felt his heart start beating faster. Maybe he did feel something more for her but whatever it was he didn't need to be shoving this into Jenna's life right now. 'I can't possible be what she wants or needs.' He thought and looked to the ground with tears in his eyes.
_______________________
"Ryan! Long time no see." Krisse chirped "This is my friend Jenna." Krisse motioned at Jenna. "Say hi."
Jenna blushed. "Krisse!"
"That's ok. I am used to her being like that."
"Aren't we all?" Jenna agreed.
"I'm Ryan Malis." He held his hand out to her. Jenna grasped it and gave him a big smile.
"I'm Jenna Johnson."
"Well, Jenna Johnson, would you like some ice cream today?"
"But of course. Vanilla please."
"One vanilla coming right up and let me guess, Krisse wants dark chocolate with Carmel swirls."
"Ohhh... Yes I do!" Krisse licked her lips. Ryan laughed. "I get off work in a few minutes so you go sit down and I will bring you the ice cream.
"Ok!" Krisse skipped over to an open table. Jenna looked at Ryan.
"I better give you the money now." She reached for her purse.
"Nope. This ice cream is on me. Can't be making a beautiful girl pay now can I?" Jenna's mouth gapped open at his flattery and he smiled. "Not used to guys hitting on you?" She smiled and quickly turned to go to Krisse.
"He's a cutie isn't he." Krisse asked.
"Yeah. He's quite the charmer but I don't know if I like him."
"Why not?"
"Because he's not... " Jenna closed her mouth quickly.
"Brian?!" Krisse exclaimed. "Cus he's not Brian? No one will ever be Brian to you! Can't you just give him a small chance?"
"I suppose I'll have to, he is coming now." Jenna looked up and smiled at him.
"Here you ladies go." Ryan handed them the ice cream cones and sat down. Krisse took a big lick.
"Now that's what I like!" Krisse said with a look of pure enjoyment on her face. Ryan turned to Jenna.
"Are you enjoying your ice cream? I made it special, just for you." He flashed a smile.
"You did?" Jenna questioned.
"Well, no. But it sounded good didn't it?" Jenna laughed
"Wanna lick?"
"Sure." She handed the cone to him.
"Man. I am good at this." Ryan took another lick and handed the cone back to her. She reached over to grab it but knocked it out of his hand sending it flying into his lap.
"Damn! I am so sorry." Jenna cried out and ran to get some napkins. She hurried over to him and started to wipe at his pants, trying to clean up but Ryan pulled her hands off.
"If you keep doing that we might have some trouble." Ryan smirked and pointed down.
"Oh, I'm sorry.. I didn't mean... " She blushed
"It's really ok. I don't mind but there is a time and place for that sort of stuff." Ryan looked at his watch. "I have to be going now." He said as he started to stand up and wiped off the last little bit of ice cream off of his clothing.
"What? Did I scare you away?"
"No. Not at all. I have to go pick up my little bro from soccer practice." He looked at her.
"I do like you though. You're cute. Would you like to go on a date with me?" Jenna's heart jumped when she heard him say he liked her but she hesitated. Before she answered she looked to were Brian was sitting. He was staring at the ground and looked totally uninterested in what was going on. She had hoped so hard that he would interfere with her meeting Ryan. That he would demand that she not go out with this boy. She'd be sure to know how he felt for her then, but he just didn't seem to care at all. Her thoughts were interrupted by Ryan.
"I mean if you wouldn't I would totally understand and..."
"I would absolutely love to." Jenna answered with a smile.
"You would?" Jenna nodded.
"Well, great! Uhm, is tonight ok. There is this party and your friends can come too." He smiled.
"Tonight is fine." He grinned and said good-bye. When he was gone, Krisse came up to her and started giggling.
"So... Am I good or am I good?"
"You're good." Jenna said with a small smile. She wanted to go out with Ryan but that didn't change the fact that her heart was breaking from finally realizing that nothing would ever come from her love for Brian. Just then Kevin and Brian were next to them.
"Is it safe to be around?" Kevin smiled.
"Sure is. I am in such a good mood that I think I just might ease up on your punishment and let us have some fun tonight." Kevin's eyes got wide. He smiled and pulled Krisse close.
"What happened?" Brian looked at Jenna.
"We are going on a date tonight. Some party. He says that you all can come too." She told him, avoiding eye contact.
"Oh, I see. That's just great." He said sarcasticly.
"What is your problem Brian? If this was such an issue why didn't you try harder to stop it? I'll tell you why. It's because you don't really care. I bet the only reason that you even help me is because it makes you feel important. Like your saving some lost little puppy." She practically yelled. Brian flinched at these words.
"Come on Jenna. You know that isn't true."
"Maybe so... but what should it matter to you anyway? I should be able to go out. I should be able to have fun and have boy friend. I need to find love Brian and I'm certainly not going to find it here." With that she turned away and headed out of the mall.
_Chapter 7_
"Here we are." Ryan pulled his mustang up in front of a large house.
"You live here?" Jenna looked at the house wide eyed. "This place is huge!"
"Yeah. Home sweet home. Come on. The party has already started." Ryan hopped out of the car and ran around to open the door for Jenna. He grabbed her hand and they ran up the walk way together. As they walked through the door they found Krisse and Kevin standing right inside talking. They both looked a little upset. Krisse spat something quietly at Kevin and then turned her head and saw Jenna.
"Finally! You are here! I need to talk to you... ALONE!" She glared at Kevin and grabbed Jenna away from Ryan. "I will bring her right back Ry so don't worry. She is all yours tonight." Krisse pulled Jenna into a Kitchen area where there weren't to many people yet.
"What's wrong?" Jenna looked at Krisse.
"Dumbass Brian. He said that he wasn't going to come because it would just make him mad cus he thinks you shouldn't be going out yet and... well you know the deal. He did show up though and now he is just sitting in the living room like a boob and he is bumming Kevin out and I thought I would tell you he was out there so that you could just stay away and he wouldn't ruin your night." Krisse splured out in on breath.
"Is he mad?"
"I don't know what is wrong with him. Just having a bad day I guess. Well, I am off. You go have fun with Ryan and if I see you even worrying about Bri then I will come and physically harm you or something. Tata!" Krisse giggled and walked out of the Kitchen back to Kevin. Ryan came walking in soon after.
"What's up?"
"Nothing that matters." She looked around the room. The party was starting to get full and music was blasting. Jenna rubbed at her head. "Can we go somewhere quiet?"
"Sure thing. I know a good spot. This is my house you know." He smiled and they walked out of the room. They passed by the door to the living room. Brian saw them and growled.
"What is wrong with you tonight? You are acting like a jealous Boyfriend. I thought you told me that you didn't love her like that." Kevin looked at Brian as he sat on the couch next to him. Krisse walked up to them. Brian glared at her.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her to go have a good time and to forget about the ass sitting on the couch"
"You shouldn't have said that."
"Why not? She deserves to have fun and find love just as much as anyone. You should know that."
"I know! Do you think I don't but she is looking in the wrong place for it!"
"What do you mean Bri?" Krisse looked down at him confused.
"I mean... well I mean that if she wants love she just has to look here. You were right Kev. I do love her." Krisse and Kevin looked at him blankly. Krisse's mouth gaped open and she just stared.
"Don't look at me like that. I'm sure you all saw that coming."
"Well, no. I mean... Aren't you going to tell her?" Krisse sputtered
"I don't think she wants to hear that. She's too busy with Ryan." Brian sulked.
"No. Believe me. She wants to hear that... trust me."
"You really think so?" Krisse stood up and grabbed Brian.
"Go! Find her. Tell her. Then tell me what happened." She giggled and pushed him in the direction they went.
___________________________
"This is a nice room." Jenna smiled and sat down at the end of the bed. "Very... Pink."
"Hey. I am working on it. It used to be my sisters room."
"That's ok. Its cute."
"Your cute." Ryan smiled and sat down next to her. Jenna smiled and looked down. Ryan took his hand and placed it under her chin lifting it up. He looked at her and leaned in to kiss her. He pressed his lips tightly against her and laid her back on the bed. Jenna sighed and rapped her arms around his neck. Ryan started to slowly unbutton her shirt. She shifted away.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing... I just... Its nothing."
"Good." He reached over and touched her head. "You are so Beautiful." He rolled over on top of her and kissed her neck. Jenna looked sighed again and looked over his shoulder. Brian was standing in the doorway with his mouth gapped open and tears flooding his eyes. He gasped and turned around and ran.
"Brian wait!" Jenna pushed Ryan off and started to button up her shirt. "I'm sorry. I can't."
"What? Was I going to fast? I can slow down. Can we go on another date?"
"No. I don't think so." Jenna ran her fingers though her hair and ran for the door.
"Why?" Ryan called to her. Jenna stopped and looked at him.
"Because, I love someone else." Jenna ran out of the room and ran outside. Krisse was standing out there with Kevin looking down the road.
"Where did Brian go?" Jenna grabbed Krisse's arms.
"I was just about to ask you that. He ran out here and got in his car and speeded off."
"Well, we have to follow him. I have to find him. I have to tell him I love him."
"My god! This is just to much. Well, get into the car."
_________________________________________________
Brian sped down the road blasting music. The tears were steadily falling down his checks.
"She is such a tramp! I cannot believe I thought I could fall in love with someone that could do that!" Brian screamed through the tears. He turned his car sharply around a curve spinning into the other lane and a car came heading strait for him.
"Shit!" He swerved around and got back into his lane. He turned around and stuck his head out the window. "Stupid Crazy ass driver!" He pulled his head back around into the car and looked out the window. Next thing he saw was headlights and he heard breaking glass and felt his body flying through the air.
_Chapter 8_
Brian's eyes slowly fluttered open. He was confused. Where was he? What had happend? He sat up quickly and a moan excaped from his lips as pain shot through his body. His face felt cold and wet so he rubbed his hand across it. When he pulled it back to examine it he found it was covered in blood. Suddenly he remembered everything. Seeing Jenna, running the stop sign, hitting the other car. He tried to pull himself together as much as he could and slowly started to crawl along, trying to find other people. He maneuvered around a big piece of metal that he thought was once the hood of a car and heard some noise coming from ahead. He stood up, ignoring the pain. "Hello? Is anyone there?" He called out.
"We're over here." Brian heard Krisse's voice answer.
"Krisse? Where is here? Who is we?" He asked in a panic.
"On the other side of the car. Hurry, it's Jenna." His heart fell to his feet and he numbly ran towards the voice. As they came into view he found Krisse hovering over Jenna's lifeless body. Brian fell to the ground next to her.
"Is she..."
"No... she is still breathing, barely. I wanted to go get help but I didn't want to leave her. Will you stay with her?"
"Of course I will. Go quickly." Krisse jumped up and ran down the road towards the only house in view. Brian looked down at Jenna's body. He gently ran his fingers across her cheek.
"What have I done?" He whispered to himself. His tears started to flow freely and they glided down his cheeks falling onto Jenna's eyelids. They slowly fluttered open and she gazed up at Brian.
"Oh.. you're here. I am so glad you are. I thought I wouldn't get to see you again before I died."
"Die? You aren't going to die. You just.." Jenna raised her hand and touched his lips.
"I love you." Brian sucked in his breath in and gazed into Jenna eyes.
"What did you say?"
"I said I love you. I love you with every bone in my body. Every fiber of my soul. I have loved you with every part of my being and I will love you till my very last breath." Jenna laughed lightly "That doesn't seem like it is going to be that long, does it?"
"Don't say that damnit! You are going to live because.. well because I need you. I can't live without you and... I love you too." Jenna's eyes filled with tears.
"You do?"
"Of course I do. I thought it was pretty obvious."
"No, no... it wasn't. I am glad that you told me." Jenna smiled and reached up to grab Brian's hands. "Will you just hold me for a while?"
"Of course." Brian slowly pulled Jenna into his arms. He laid his head on her shoulder and held her tightly, rocking her back and forth like a child.
"I always liked your voice. I always thought it was beautiful. Will you sing to me please?" She asked softly.
"Whatever you want. What shall I sing?"
"How about that song we always sang when we played. When we where younger. About the Angels." Brian thought for a minute and slowly opened his mouth.
"If I had wings I would fly away. Fly away so high. In the clouds I could hid away. Way up in the sky. I would live with the Angels. I would dance all day. I would live with the Angels. If I could fly away." Brian closed his eyes and pulled Jenna closer. He laid his head on her hair and rocked her back and forth harder.
"That was wonderful."
"You can't go away. Please stay with me. Please... please." He slowly reached down and pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back deeply and then slowly her mouth weekend and she fell back against is arms. Brian felt his heart break in half and he laid his head on her chest and started to sob.
_Chapter 9_
Time went by slowly for Brian. He stayed in his room, shut his windows, and wouldn't let daylight in. Krisse was outside his door every hour trying to convince him, through her tears, to come out. Sometimes Kevin would come but everyone seemed to be torn apart.
"You have been in there for days now. Today is the funeral and you have to go."
"Go away Krisse. I am never coming out. I will stay here till I die!" Brian listened for a response. He heard quiet sobs and footsteps as Krisse walked away. He sighed and slowly walked into the bathroom. He glanced at the mirror and memories flashed into his mind from days before. Memories of Jenna's beautiful face. Memories of when he started to realize his love for her.
"And now she is gone!" He screamed and slammed his fist against the glass. He pulled back his hand and blood dripped down his arm. His eyes filled with tears as he sank to the floor.
"I can't live without her." He said quietly to himself and looked up at the broken cabinet. Thoughts raced though his mind as he saw the pieces of broken glass. He slowly stood up and stared at them thoughtfully. He reached down and picked up a piece. He laid the sharp edge on his wrist and pressed down slightly. Suddenly he had a realisation.
"I can be with her if I do this." He ran to his bed and sat down. Slowly he started to press the glass into his skin but before he had a made a cut he heard a voice.
"Brian..." He shot his head to the door.
"Go away! I told you I am not coming out."
"Brian." The voice came again.
"Krisse?"
"No, not Krisse." Suddenly, a light filled his room and a figure was standing before him. Brian sucked in his breath.
"Yes Brian. It is me."
"How... I thought..."
"You think a little thing like death is going to stop me from helping you when you need me?" Jenna smiled and walked over to Brian. She knelt down next to him and put her hand over his wrist. "Why are you doing this Brian?"
"I don't deserve to live. I killed you. I love you and I killed you."
"I love you too but I know that you need to stay alive. I will be here waiting for you but you have so much to give to the world. It is not your time."
"It wasn't your time ether." Brian whispered.
"Don't you see. It was my time. Life wasn't all that great for me was it? I had so much pain and sadness and you took me away from all of that and sent me to a place were I can be safe and happy. I can watch you from there and when you come to Heaven I will be there waiting, still loving you. I do have to admit it will be hard watching you live your life without me. Falling in lot with other girls, making a family and a home for yourself."
"I'll never love another. I can't"
"You will, I know you will. You have so much love to give. Promise me you will stay alive tonight. Tonight and forever, until it is your time. Promise me, please." Jenna looked at Brian with pleading eyes.
"Is that what will really make you happy?"
"More than you know."
"I promise then." Jenna stood up and slowly backed away. "No. Please don't leave yet. Stay here with me."
"I have to but I'll always be here. Even if you can't see me. Maybe I will stop by in some of your dreams." She smiled
"Do you think I could have one last kiss?" Jenna smiled and ran to Brian.
"Of course you can. It isn't a last kiss though. It is just the start." She rapped her arms around him and pressed her lips against his. She slowly pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I love you so much." Jenna took a step back and with a flash she was gone. Brian looked at the floor where she had been standing.
"Good-bye my love."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's here!" Krisse sucked in her breath as she saw Brian walk into the door of the funeral home. She tugged on Kevin's sleeve and they quickly went him.
"I thought you wouldn't come. You had been in your room so long I thought you were going to ki... I mean..." Krisse's eyes filled with tears. "I thought I was going to lose you too." She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed. Brian hugged her tightly.
"It's ok Krisse. I am here and I am not leaving any of you. I thought you might lose me for a while too but I am going to be here for a long time. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried." Brian looked at Kevin. He looked as if he had been crying for days and he was about to again.
"Your not going to cry on me too now are you?"
"Your my cousin. I thought you were going to kill yourself and you think I am not going to cry?" He laughed as the tears streamed down his face. After the funeral everyone went to the cemetery. Sobs filled the air but there was one dry eye. Brian stared at Jenna's father's stone face and felt a little sorry for the man. People slowly started to leave and when only a few people were left Brian felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and found her dad standing there. He's face was red with anger and he swung a punch at Brian. Brian ducked out of the way and looked up to see him fall to the ground in a drunken stupor.
"You killed my daughter you son of a bitch! I hope you rot in hell." He yelled at him from the ground. "You killed the only person left that loved me." Brian stared at him in amazement.
"Loved you! She hated you and she had good reason. A few hours ago what you just said could have pushed me over the edge but now it doesn't do a thing to me at all. Believe me, I am not the one that will be going to hell" Brian turned around and walked back to Kevin and Krisse. They all got in Kevin's car and started to drive away. Krisse looked at Brian.
"I need to know something. Earlier you said that you thought you were going to kill yourself. What made you not do it?" Brian thought for a second. Finally he simply said, "I found my Angel."
She nodded and looked away. Brian knew she didn't understand but she had faith in him and maybe that was all they needed.
~Written by: CoLe (Coie11@aol.com) SEND FEEDBACK HERE!
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