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Source:Abcnews.com
Moderator at 1:29 p.m. ET
Welcome Denise McLean! Thanks for joining us.
Denise McLean at 1:30 p.m. ET
Hi to everyone. Thank you for joining me today. Look forward to chatting with you.
Moderator at 1:30 p.m. ET
Let's begin...
Sara Boyer asks: "What made A.J. decide that it was time for him to get help?"
Denise McLean at 1:32 p.m. ET
I believe he realized that he could not cope with the lifestyle and control it on his own anymore.
There was also an incident that occurred the morning before he called me that day, where he had some words with Kevin because he did not show up for some event they had scheduled, and Kevin and he got into an argument. I think that kind of brought to his attention the fact that he was letting everyone down.
Sheena O'Connor from sympatico.ca at 1:33 p.m. ET
During A.J.'s time in rehab, has he rediscovered some of the Alex in him?
Denise McLean at 1:34 p.m. ET
Definitely. He has rediscovered Alex and hopefully now the personalities will be in the right order so to speak, meaning that Alex will be the primary personality and A.J. will be the secondary personality or stage persona only. That is a goal of his.
Samantha Davis from proxy.aol.com at 1:34 p.m. ET
Do you really believe that the rehab has helped A.J./Alex and that he now knows how to deal with such fame?
Denise McLean at 1:35 p.m. ET
The rehab has given him more coping mechanisms and tools that he needs to implement into his everyday living, so that he can learn to cope with his life and his work and the lifestyle that goes with it.
tuzzybrit@aol.com from proxy.aol.com at 1:35 p.m. ET
Considering Alex has been in rehab for only one month, do you think it is in his best interest to return to BSB and their tour so soon? Don't you think he could easily slip back into his old lifestyle?
Denise McLean at 1:36 p.m. ET
No, I think that he realizes that he's got to — it's like the proverbial getting onto the horse once you've fallen off. He knew he was going to have to get back into it eventually.
Circumstances are such that he needs to rejoin the group and finish out his obligation, and at that point, once the obligation has been fulfilled, if he chooses to take some time for himself, he will.
Moderator at 1:36 p.m. ET
Leslie Andino asks: "Denise, how is A.J. coping with the death of his grandmother, and how has his break-up with Amanda affected his emotional struggle?"
Denise McLean at 1:38 p.m. ET
His break-up really was a brief thing, as he moved on from that pretty quickly and didn't date for a while. He wanted to step back from it, and I think he got over it pretty quickly.
As far as coping with the death of his grandmother, part of what he did in rehab was to actually attend grieving sessions to work through that, and that helped him immensely.
Moderator at 1:38 p.m. ET
Lori asks: "Did you find it hard to raise your son by yourself as a single parent?"
Denise McLean at 1:39 p.m. ET
Yes (laughs). It's difficult for any single parent to raise a child on their own, whether it be father or mother, and I believe that the love that we have for each other helped us both grow up.
Moderator at 1:39 p.m. ET
June asks: "Why are you going public?"
Denise McLean at 1:40 p.m. ET
Two reasons: One is to give back and thank the public for the immense positive response that he got for having the courage to do what he did and seek help; and secondly, to hopefully reach parents, children, adults suffering from the same type of disease and to help them realize they're not alone and there is support out there for them.
Moderator at 1:41 p.m. ET
momsafan2 writes: "Denise, the members of the Online Fanclub are so very proud of your son. His admission of being human only served to help so many others, even some in the chat room itself. As a mother myself, I am so proud of what you have done to support Alex, as well as for them all being honest with their fans. They all have our undying support. What advice can you give to young ones who may wonder if they are depressed?"
Denise McLean at 1:42 p.m. ET
Definitely to talk to someone — maybe start with a counselor in school, definitely your parents, a teacher if you're comfortable and have a good relationship with one — to start there, maybe, and just talk to someone and hopefully that will grow. If there is a problem, someone can lead them in the right direction to a professional.
BaCkStReEt FrEaK... Lesley Smi at 1:42 p.m. ET
Were you surprised about the outpour of emotion by the fans around the world?
Denise McLean at 1:44 p.m. ET
Initially, yes. One of the first questions that my son asked me once he was in rehab was how the public reacted. He was worried. And when I told him how positive the response was, he was very relieved. Then, I also brought some of the letters with me when I first visited him to show him some of the impact.
I think he still, even until today, is very, very appreciative and amazed at the response. He told me that he didn't realize what an impact he would have, and he's grateful that he can have that impact.
Moderator at 1:44 p.m. ET
Claudia Sanchez asks: "What made you see that Alex had disappeared and was overtaken by the A.J. persona?"
Denise McLean at 1:46 p.m. ET
He began hiding from his family, sleeping most of the day, not coming back to Orlando as frequently, and really avoiding people — that's very unlike him. That was the biggest red flag to us, his family.
Also, the type of people that he was hanging around with brought up some red flags, because of their pushing him to go out at all hours and party all the time.
Moderator at 1:46 p.m. ET
Bre Kidman wonders: "Do you think your son will ever go back, fully, to being the same Alex he used to be before Backstreet? What kind of a change would that be?"
Denise McLean at 1:47 p.m. ET
No, I don't think he'll go back, because he has to grow up. I think he will become — as opposed to the young boy Alex that I loved — he'll become the young man Alex that I love, as everyone has to do.
Moderator at 1:47 p.m. ET
Leigh Terry asks: "Will A.J. use his experiences with alcohol and depression to help other people in the same situation?"
Denise McLean at 1:48 p.m. ET
That's to be determined — we're not sure about that yet. He has to reach his own personal comfort level with talking about this, and when that happens, my personal opinion is that he may want to reach out and share what he's learned, but I can't promise that he will feel that way. He may very well decide to keep it private and just deal with it in a private way.
Julia Dillard at 1:48 p.m. ET
Do you believe the Alex will give a whole new show and appearance to his fans now that he's taken charge of his life?
Denise McLean at 1:49 p.m. ET
Well, that remains to be seen, but I believe that a healthy A.J. as a stage person will be, I think, refreshing to the audience. I think they'll see a boost in his energy and a better voice, and I think he'll just emanate more happiness on stage now.
Stacy at 1:50 p.m. ET
Hey Denise! I'm so glad to hear that A.J.'s getting better. That's wonderful news. My question: What are A.J.'s plans for the future?
Denise McLean at 1:51 p.m. ET
Right now he wants to finish the tour and continue with his ongoing recovery, and at this point, we really haven't discussed his future because one of his new focuses is to deal with life one day at a time.
Moderator at 1:51 p.m. ET
Barbara H writes: "I am a physician and a recovering addict and alcoholic, and know personally and professionally that regular attendance at 12-step meetings is vital to maintaining sobriety. How does A.J. plan to fit meetings into his touring schedule, and does he have an AA sponsor?"
Denise McLean at 1:52 p.m. ET
Yes, he does have a sponsor. That was one of the first things he did was to start going to meetings, and he was fortunate enough to find a sponsor pretty quickly.
He plans on starting right away to look over his schedule and adjust his touring schedule separately, if necessary, from the other boys, so that he can be available to attend meetings every day.
Moderator at 1:53 p.m. ET
Nancy Rush wonders: "Can you tell me, as a parent, is there anything you would have liked to have done differently in raising your son, or any way you feel you could have taken a more active role in his career?"
Denise McLean at 1:54 p.m. ET
I think I was as active a participant as any human being could have been, and as far as doing anything differently, no. I feel that when he was young he made decisions with my help, but they were his decisions, and as he grew up, he received guidance Л some good, some bad Л from the people around him.
But the choices he made were primarily his own, and I was always there to support him and help him.
Moderator at 1:54 p.m. ET
Katy writes: "How have you dealt with all of Alex's fame?"
Denise McLean at 1:56 p.m. ET
It's both a good and a bad thing. It's always good for a parent to see their children succeed at what they want to do with their lives. In that respect, I could not be prouder of him. But there have also been a lot of sacrifices on my part, as well.
I don't really have regrets — we had a lot of fun. We were together almost all the time sharing in his career, and I don't think there's anything I would really change. I think that fame is just a double-edged sword that you deal with or not. I think I did have an advantage in being with him so much, and I think a lot of parents probably would envy the amount of time that I was able to spend with him going around the world.
Rachel A at 1:57 p.m. ET
How do you think Alex wants the fans to view him in light of this time in his life? As Alex or as A.J.? As a huge fan myself, I would like to do what is best for him!
Denise McLean at 1:57 p.m. ET
I think he just wants people to realize that he is a human being just like everyone else. He has a talent that he uses to make people happy, and he's just, you know, basically, at heart, a regular guy who enjoys his job.
Moderator at 1:59 p.m. ET
Denise, thank you for your time! Do you have any final thoughts for our audience?
Denise McLean at 2 p.m. ET
I would definitely want to thank Connie Chung and everybody at 20/20 for allowing me to share with them my experiences and hopefully reach out to everyone to let them know how much we appreciate the support and also what we've gone through in these past weeks.
I definitely, on behalf of my son and myself, want to thank the fans and other artists who have contacted me and sent him cards and letters; the loving support has been amazing and overwhelming.
I think that he's going to feel it 100 times-fold when he gets up on that stage for the first show, and that's going to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, I think. I hope to be there to see it!
Moderator at 2:01 p.m. ET
Thanks to all those who participated in the chat!
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