JOURNAL 8


9:02 pm, 12/25/00

subject: my christmas eve

Unlike many people, I spent my Christmas Eve in my room filling out several college applications. I know what you must be thinking, "lighten up! it's Christmas!" I, however, am one of the those people that can't bring herself to truly enjoying the holiday until all her works are done. Sad, huh?! Anyway, I managed to write my dear cousin - my best friend, a letter after months of procrastination. I feel so bad that she has to get it after Christmas...

Around 2:00 am, I decided to lighten up all the candles in my house and sit in the living room by myself. I really do miss all the decorations, the Christmas tree (even if it's a plastic one)...how did I lead myself into this? Could I really have been that busy that I didn't even get to enjoy the holidays until Christmas Eve? I don't know why, I am sad. Why should I be though? I have a wonderful family, good friends, a rather fulfilling life, a bright future ahead of me? Why am I becoming so confused all of a sudden? Is it because I am afraid of going to college? Am I too burned out by everything that was going on? I just felt like staring at the candle flame in the middle of the night...