Justin bolted out of the ride and stopped, looking around wildly. He saw crowds of people, and many of them did double takes at him, bewildered at the fact that he was out in public by himself. He then started to make his way towards the parking lot, crossing his fingers that he was heading in the right direction. Thoughts were racing through his head, he was feeling a whirlwind of different emotions.
I cannot believe this is happening…she almost got raped? God! Why…how? This is Jen we're talking about here, she is the most loving, kind-hearted person I know! Who would want to hurt her? Why wasn't I there to protect her? I should have known…
He left the park, not noticing the whispering around him. He walked determined towards his car, ducking his head down. He didn't want to be noticed now, he was on a mission, and that was to comfort one of the people he cared about most.
His car came into sight; no one could miss it. He slowed down a bit, cautiously approaching. He became apprehensive; he had no idea how to initiate conversation with Jen. He unlocked the driver side door and poked his head inside, finding what he was looking for. Jen was in the very back of the car, sitting cross-legged and facing the rear window with her head in her hands, whimpering softly.
Justin climbed into the car and shut the door then made his way to the back slowly. Jen heard him but didn't acknowledge him. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed softly. He placed a hand gently on her back, and she recoiled at his touch. He pulled his hand away quickly and sat next to her, cross-legged facing the window just like she. He stared out the window and sighed.
"I don't know what to say, Jen," he started, swallowing hard. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and noticed his uneasiness.
Good, I can't believe I told him and the rest of the world about what happened. I cannot believe him and his stubbornness at times…he deserves to feel uncomfortable!
Justin noticed that Jen wasn't reacting, so he tried again. "Jen, I mean, why didn't you tell me when it first happened?"
Her head snapped up and she looked at him scared and hurt. His heart went out to her and he just wanted to ease her pain. She opened her mouth to speak, and the words came out rushed and her voice was cracking with emotion.
"Why didn't I tell you? God Justin, you make it sound like it should have been the easiest thing in the world…" she stared at him as a lone tear tumbled down her face, then she buried her head into her hands once again.
Justin looked at her again confused and saddened. He scooted over towards her and put his arm around her gently. He sighed to himself when she didn't push him away.
"You know you can tell me anything, I just wonder why you won't talk to me and let me help you…" Jen shrugged his arm off her shoulder and shook her head, interrupting him as her voice raised.
"Why couldn't you let me tell you when I was READY! Why did you have to push and push and push and make me make a FOOL out of myself in the middle of the park? In front of all those people! You didn't respect MY wishes Justin!" she yelled, shoving him away from her.
He just stared at her, amazed that she was fragile one minute and yelling the next. She was looking right back at him; her brown eyes seemed to be on fire and it upset him that he was the cause of this. He lowered his eyes away from her, aggravated with his behavior.
Why did I act like that? I couldn't have just waited…I just had to push her over the edge…always to get my own way. I hurt her, and she's been hurt enough.
Jen noticed his falling expression and sighed, calming herself down. She took a few deep breaths and continued.
"I'm sorry it took all of this drama for it to come out, but lets just put it behind us now. Justin, I don't wanna yell anymore, ok?" she said, rubbing her hand cautiously up and down his arm. He looked up at her and she smiled weakly.
"I don't either Jen, I just…I am sorry. I'm sorry I forced it out of you, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my big mouth shut, I'm sorry I acted like a complete jerk…"
"Huge jerk. Huge," she added, her smile getting stronger and she started giggling a bit. He looked up at her with his big blue eyes and she sighed.
"Forgive me?" he asked in a little boys voice, opening his arms out to her. She looked at him for a few seconds, still a little uneasy, but slid into his welcoming embrace.
"Forgiven. I am actually kind of glad it's out in the open and you haven't said, 'I told you so' yet. Do you forgive me?" she questioned in a weary voice. He pulled away a bit and looked into her eyes.
"Of course, always. I'll try not to push as much, I just want you to know that you are one of the most important things in my life and I'll always be here for you," he replied. She smiled and he pulled her close again. She sighed as his arms were wrapped securely around her, and her face was resting against his chest.
You'll push, I know you Justin. But that's ok I guess, its just the way you are.
He kissed the top of her head, staring out the back of his car, also in deep thought.
Thank god this is over, I hope things can get back to normal. I'll get Kyle for this; he is going to pay for messing with my Jen. I don't care what the guys say, I am gonna give him a piece of my mind.
Justin hugged her tighter, and Jen looked up at him curiously. "Are you ok J?" she asked. He broke out of his trance and glanced down at her.
"Yeah, I'm all right, just thinking about some things. I think the rest of the guys are a little worried though. I left them with a bunch of fans…I hope they are OK," he answered, changing the subject. Just then they heard someone banging on the car door.
"Is everything ok in there? Jen? Justin?" Lance's voice asked. Jen and Justin glanced at each other.
"Speak of the devils," he muttered and let go of Jen hesitantly. He climbed back to the front, grabbing and holding Jen's hand and opened the windows.
"Everything is all right, how are you guys?" Justin asked, glancing out the window at the rest of the group.
They all looked in the car towards Jen. She squirmed under their stares, but met their eyes and smiled a little bit. Ashlee smiled back and was the first to speak.
"So now what? I don't think you guys can get back in there, everyone and their mother knows that you are in the area and they all know what you are wearing. They sure got a good look at me and Jen, so now we are on top of most of their hit lists, and I'd rather not die today…" Ashlee rambled on, breaking the ice and getting everyone to laugh. JC looked around the parking lot and sighed.
"Yeah, Ashlee is right. I guess we should call it a day, we have to drive you guys back to school, then turn around and get back here. Whaddya say we get back to campus and order a pizza and chill for a bit? Then we'll truck back here afterwards," JC reasoned. Jen looked towards Ashlee and then to the rest of the guys, finally resting her gaze on Justin.
"Well, you know you can crash by us if you want. We can do this whole little slumber party thing and dress Justin up in some of my clothes and put make-up on Joey and dye Chris' dreads and-" she said all excitedly, but she was cut off by Lance.
"I don't even wanna know where that came from, and I don't wanna hear what you were planning on doing to me," he said, raising his hands up towards her and raising his eyebrows.
"Jen, girl, do you even have dye in your room?" Chris asked, totally curious and willing to go along with it. JC smacked him upside the head and just looked at him.
"What?" he asked, feigning innocence. Justin laughed and turned towards Jen in the car.
"It depends on how late we are by y'all. Thanks for the offer, even though I don't know HOW you think you can fit five extra people in your dorm room," he said smiling. She smiled back and patted his hand gently.
"Well see, us women know how to organize. I know its hard for someone as chaotic as yourself to realize the strategy, but believe me, we can do it." She replied, talking slowly and deliberately.
"Ohhh, burned on that one J-man!" Joey teased outside of Justin's window. Justin glared at him, but then smiled and shook his head.
"Get in the car you weirdo's, we better head back before people see my car and want pictures of it like last time," he said and started it back up. The group piled into the car, talking about the time that actually happened.
Justin looked over at Jen and just watched her as she buckled her seatbelt and adjusted her tank top and shorts so they were lying right. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath. Every little thing mesmerized him as she ran her fingers through her hair and untangled it. She opened her eyes and caught him staring at her. She was startled but gave him a small smile.
"So, are we going to leave anytime soon?" she asked. Justin blushed and realized he was in reverse, but he hadn't moved because he was watching her. He cursed under his breath and pulled out of the space, heading out of the park and back to Tampa.
"Are you ok Stin?" she questioned, concerned with his actions. He looked over at her and smiled in reply. He reached over and took her hand and squeezed it.
No, I'm not ok…not ok at all. You are on my mind in ways that best friends definitely shouldn't be…and the thing is, I like it.
What they both didn't seem to notice was that they were still holding hands with their fingers entwined, and they remained that way for the rest of the car ride home.
