Jen took a couple of steps into the room, allowing the door to close behind her. Justin’s eyes shined as he pushed his chair away from the table hastily and made his way over to Jen. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her tightly to him and buried his face into her neck, sighing and closing his eyes tightly. Jen automatically wrapped her arms around his neck and held him just as tight to her.
“Hey baby,” she whispered into his ear and sighed heavily. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to shut out the other five people in the room. She cherished the feeling of safety she received in his comforting embrace, but pulled away and untangled herself from him.
Justin pulled back and looked into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts and figure out how she was holding up. He leaned down and brushed his lips gently against hers and then stood up to full height, his hands resting on the tops of her shoulders. He noticed how she was looking around the room, keeping her eyes away from the rest of the guys.
“You ok?” he whispered back, grabbing her attention once more. She nodded and blinked a few times, trying to brave a smile.
The rest of the guys sat in silence, watching the interaction between the two youngest people in the room. Even Johnny, who had known Jen for as long as he had known the guys in *NSYNC, was amazed at the emotion the two were evoking and the electricity and concern that was radiating out of them.
JC took the initiative and got out of his chair first, making his way towards the couple. Jen noticed the movement and tensed up, scared that JC would reprimand her for what happened. Her actions did not go unnoticed by Justin, who took a few steps back and let JC talk to her and lend support as the rest of the guys stood up and made their way over.
Why is she suddenly nervous around the rest of the guys? We are all here to support each other, I just don’t get it…
Justin watched her interact with the guys, and noticed her soft-spoken tone and the way she would hardly make eye contact with any of them. He was surprised and confused, especially when he watched her pull away from JC after a hug that seemed altogether too forced. Chris made his way after JC and got the same reaction from Jen, but the guys were ok with it, because they knew she was stressed and so they blamed it on that.
After the short hello’s and how-are-you’s, the six of them walked back to the table, where Johnny stood up and hugged Jen himself, greeting and welcoming her. “Let’s get down to business now, as much as I don’t like to talk about this sort of thing,” Johnny started as everyone sat down.
Justin pulled a chair up next to him for Jen and rested his hand on top of hers on the table. She glanced at him and smiled slightly, and he squeezed her hand and looked over at Johnny attentively.
“So you said you had some ideas, Jen…” he continued, as everyone’s attention turned to her.
“Actually, I was thinking about this…it’s all I have been doing lately. I keep thinking that Kyle is behind this; I mean…” she trailed off, looking down at the edge of the table like she was suddenly fascinated with the texture. She took a deep breath and studied the table some more while she continued. “He was there at the barbeque, he taunts me, us, everyone. He knows where the guys live…and he knows how much this would hurt us.”
“OK so this Kyle, who is he and how come he was around?” Johnny asked, wanting to know the situation. Jen tensed up and JC glanced at her and took over.
“Kyle was this punk kid Jen dated; he came with her to one of the barbeques…some stuff went down, he didn’t get what he wanted from Jen, so to speak, and she dumped him. We were all there; he could sense something between Justin and her…he’s just a rotten guy. I wouldn’t put something like this past him.”
“Who else could it be? What about that Emily chick? She hung with us. She seemed cool…but you never know these days,” Chris added, trying to shift the conversation away from Kyle somewhat. He didn’t want Jen reliving what happened that caused her and Kyle to break up, and he knew the rest of the guys wouldn’t want that either.
Jen sighed and tried not to break down and cry right then and there. “I dunno guys, she seemed harmless. A little snoopy, kind of nosey…she DID come to JIVE to find me and Ash…”
“So we have a Kyle and Emily. Anyone else?” Johnny asked, writing names down on a pad of paper. All of a sudden the door to the conference room opened again, causing everyone to turn their heads in that direction. In walked *NSYNC’s publicist, Jeremy Tomkins. He nodded quickly to everyone in the room, and his eyes slightly widened as he noticed Jen sitting next to Justin, with their fingers entwined.
“Hello Johnny, guys, Jennifer. Nice to see you could make it to the meeting,” he said, sitting at the other head of the table. He glared at Jen and Justin’s hands, and once Jen noticed she tore hers away from Justin’s and placed her hands in her lap. Justin looked over at Jeremy and then back at Jen and slowly slipped his hand into her lap, grabbing hers and holding it under the table, out of Jeremy’s eyesight.
“What about employee’s here at JIVE? Anyone here could be a suspect,” Lance said as he watched Jeremy stare down Jen and Justin. He tried to divert the publicist’s attention to the task at hand.
“It’s unlikely, you just moved to this label, why would people want to destroy that?”
“Maybe because they don’t think we deserve to be here, maybe they are people that think we aren’t good enough…”
“Maybe they are die-hard Backstreet fans,” muttered Jen, still not raising her head to meet anyone’s eyes. Justin chuckled a bit, and so did Joey and JC who also heard her.
“There’s that smartass we know and love, I knew it was hiding in there somewhere,” Justin said, a smile gracing his face.
“Now is not the time to joke around. We need to find out who did this, and find out fast so we can clear it up. Can I see the list Johnny?” Jeremy asked. Johnny passed the list down the table and Jeremy looked over it closely. He glanced at Jen and Justin, then at the rest of the guys.
“Two people? That’s it? Shouldn’t be too hard. So this Kyle kid goes to school with you then?”
“Yeah…he lives in my dorm,” Jen answered.
“Not staying on your toes so well huh? A random hook-up guy can be the root of this full-blown disaster?”
“Hey that was uncalled for Jeremy,” Justin snapped at him. There was no way he was going to let this guy make Jen feel worse than she already did.
“No, he’s right,” Jen started, raising her head to meet everyone for the first time. She glanced into the eyes of each of her friends, wondering how she could allow something like this to happen. With tears threatening to spill, she continued.
“The fact of the matter is that I brought someone into your lives that did this…to you all, to me. It’s my fault; I was too trusting, and since I trusted this person, you all let your guard down. You guys don’t need this.“
“I think it might be a good idea if Jen keeps a low profile; if she stays away from the group and especially you Justin. That is the only way to kill the rumor,” Jeremy added, looking at the couple hard. Justin’s eyes grew to saucers and everyone in the room could count the seconds until he officially blew his curly top.
“It’s not a rumor, Jeremy. I don’t appreciate you gallivanting in here, trying to make Jen feel bad when you KNOW she is part of this family, and then telling me that I have to stay away from my best friend because of what some people might think-“
“It’s not “some people” Justin. These are your fans. These are the people that buy your records, go to your shows, plaster your faces up on their walls and pray that they can meet you. They make you and break you, and you cant throw that away over puppy love. I am sorry, and I don’t think the rest of your band mates would appreciate that.”
“Puppy love? PUPPY LOVE? What do you KNOW about how I feel? I swear to God Jeremy-“ Justin said in a low tone, almost threatening. Joey noticed the direction of the conversation and decided to put his two cents in.
“This isn’t going to solve anything. Justin, calm down. Jeremy, you know what’s going on, and we need to fix this. Find out who gave this information and why, and then do something about it. Don’t sit there and tell us that the fans run our lives either. We do. They either like us or they don’t, and its time that really was about the music. I don’t think it’s a good idea to split Jen up from us, because that would make the fans wonder MORE, don’t you think?”
Everyone stared at Joey and processed what he was saying. Justin tried to calm himself down, Jeremy was glaring, and Jen looked uncomfortable. JC and Lance were looking at each other in almost a shocked stage, and Chris was patting Joey on the back.
“I think Jeremy is right. I should probably chill out, not really hang, kinda let it all blow over…”
…so you all don’t hate me forever…
“What? No way Jen, come on now,” JC said, looking at her like she was crazy.
“You can’t do that, not over something this trivial,” Lance added, pleading with her. Justin just stared in shock, he could not for the life of him understand what was going on in her head, and he normally prided himself on knowing exactly what she was thinking.
“I just think that maybe you guys would be better off if I wasn’t around so much…good thing the tour is coming up eh?” she said dully, almost in a cold fashion. Justin looked at the guys, and then up at Jeremy who was wearing an ‘I told you so’ look on his face that was all too smug for Justin.
The room was silent for a few seconds and Johnny took it upon himself to end the meeting before things became even more strained. “Ok guys, I think that’s enough for today. Jeremy, you have the names, you can think of something to print for comments towards the article. It’s not like we haven't encountered something like this before, it will blow over by stating how Jen and Justin are friends, have been friends, and will be friends, yadda yadda.”
“Yeah but we didn’t have incriminating BLATANT make-out pictures in front of some well-known club in Orlando-“
“That’s ENOUGH!” Justin yelled and slammed his hands on the table and stood up.
“We’ll talk to you later Jeremy. I would like to see you in my office right after this meeting. Guys get on outta here and try to stay CALM. I will see you all tomorrow,” Johnny finished and stood up from his chair and nodded to the guys. Johnny walked behind Jen and patted her shoulder as he made his way out of the room.
Jeremy packed up his things and looked down at Jen. “Remember what I said,” he whispered in her ear and walked out of the room. Everyone watched him leave, and then turned to Jen to see how she was doing.
“We should get outta here. J how did you get here?” Justin asked, his voice surprisingly smooth, even though just moments ago he was lashing out.
“Your mom dropped me off in the back.”
“I’ll take you back to Mom’s ok?” he asked and stood up. The rest of the guys followed his lead and began muttering things about getting back home to pack up some stuff and to watch some wrestling match on TV, trying to be as normal as possible.
Jen stood and smiled half-heartedly. Justin wrapped his arms around her once again and kissed her temple. She closed her eyes and tried to fight her overwhelming urge to hold him as tight as possible and never let go.
I need to pull away…I need to hang back and let him go and do his thing...but how can I? It’s only fair to him and the rest of the guys. I need to kind of hang in the shadows and out of their lives for awhile. Maybe Jeremy was right…but what if he was wrong?
She pulled back abruptly and glanced towards the rest of the guys. “Well come on then, stop looking at me like that, I’m not going to break or anything. I’m buff, I’m tough, and I’m mad crazy. Now let’s blow this pop stand so I can chill.”
The guys smiled and all let out a breath that they didn’t know they were holding in. Justin on the other hand was not so relieved. He could tell in her voice that she wasn’t totally ok but he went with it because he knew she was trying, and that was important. They walked through the halls of JIVE, Justin holding Jen’s hand lightly with their fingers entwined and the guys trailing behind them; all six engaged in some random conversation about peanut butter and jelly.
Jen felt more at ease right then than she had since she read the article last week. Things were still very unsettled and very shaky, but overall she had gained some sort of regularity in the little while she had been at JIVE. Jeremy was trying to scare her, but she tried to not let it affect her as much as it had in the conference room. Justin pushed the door open with his right hand, his left still hanging on to Jen’s as they started to make their way into the parking lot.
“Look! Justin Timberlake! Jennifer Jenkins! Can we have a word? What is the status of your relationship??” Out of nowhere a reporter had jammed a microphone and a camera into their faces, of course first focusing on the fact that they were holding hands.
Justin was in total shock as well as Jen. Before they knew what was going on, three more reporters and photographers were in their face, hounding them.
“How did you get in here? This is a secured area!” JC yelled, trying to get their attention.
“If you want an interview you need to set one up!” Chris added, yelling right after JC.
Jen was overwhelmed and in complete shock.
Why cant they just leave me alone? How did they get in here, why do they care so much? Why are they shoving their microphones and cameras into my face? Do they think I like it or that I will answer questions being barked at me? What did I do to deserve this?
“Justin, how can you do this to your fans?”
“Jen did you fly out from home just to see them off?”
“JC how will this effect the group???”
“Excuse me, we are trying to leave, thank you. Please, excuse me, I need to get to my car, thanks,” Justin was trying to be as polite as he could, when all he wanted to do was lash out at them and protect Jen from their questions. He held her hand tightly as Joey and Chris tried to hold the reporters back while they made their way to Justin’s car.
Pictures of the group were being taken, but the main focus was of course on Jen and Justin. By this time Justin had pulled her close to him, wrapped his arm around her shoulders then placed her in front of him with her back against his chest and guided her to his car. The photographers were eating it up, the closeness of the two could be portrayed as more than just a friend protecting his friend; they knew just what to do-clip the picture here, focus there, crop it.
Security had made its way outside once they had heard what was going on; Lance had backtracked into the building to alert them of what was happening. Justin hastily opened the door to his car and helped Jen into it and slammed the door once she was in, then jogged around the back of his car and got in on the driver side. He started the car and threw it into drive, getting out of there as fast as he could.
Jen watched with wide eyes, it felt like everything was going in slow motion and she was the deer in headlights. Justin had pulled out onto the highway when he reached over and grabbed her hand, snapping her out of her thoughts, if she could even call them that. She glanced over at him with a blank stare, and he in turn looked at her quickly but turned his eyes back on the road, focusing his attention on getting to his mother’s house safely.
“I’m so sorry about that, I don’t know where they came from,” he said a few seconds later in a frustrated voice. She squeezed his hand back and sighed.
“Justin, your mom even told me it was a bad idea to stop by JIVE. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have come. I should have KNOWN that there would be reporters lurking around…and now they all know I am here to see you guys off on Saturday. They are going to be there in full force at JIVE…maybe I shouldn’t go; I should just say good-bye to all of you at the house. I should have just stayed in Chicago…where I belong…”
“Jen, don’t talk like that. Come on now. If you didn’t stop by JIVE, we wouldn’t have gotten the leads we did on who might have sent the pictures. Besides, we were all wanting to see you anyway, the guys kept asking me if you were going to show up today or if we had to wait till tonight to see you.”
“But look at the mess we are in now Justin. I have been on a plane today; thank God no one harassed me on there…I beg your mom to take me to JIVE, she wasn’t too keen on the idea but took me nonetheless, and then I get into it with Jeremy and on the way out we get mobbed. Today has NOT been good; this week has not been good…I wish I could erase this whole thing. Everything,” Jen sniffled and pulled her hand away from Justin’s, wiping her eyes and burying her head in both of her hands. He looked over at her again as he pulled into the driveway, then turned off the car.
“Things have to get better though, right? How can they get any worse? We just got to stick together. Let’s get inside now, and we can chill and talk or whatever, just relax. How does that sound?” he reached over and began gently playing with her hair, staring deep into her eyes. Jen broke his gaze and nodded, stepping out of the car cautiously and looking around to make sure no one followed him or her.
Justin watched her actions and sighed, there was no reason that she should feel anxious or nervous about being around him and his surroundings, she was his best friend. He could tell how guarded she was acting, even when it was just the two of them in the car, and it worried him. He knew he had to leave in a few days, and he did not want anything strained between the two; he wouldn’t be able to take it out on the road.
They entered the house and Lynn came to the door, looking at their discerned faces and had to ask the question. “What happened?”
Justin shook his head at his mom to signal that he would tell her later, and Jen wandered into the family room and ungracefully flopped onto the couch, sighing loudly and rubbing her temples. Justin sat next to her and pulled her head into his lap and she stretched out across the rest of the couch. She closed her eyes and let out a tiny sound when his fingers brushed her hair away from her head and began to gently massage her temples, trying to relieve some of her stress. He could feel her relaxing and smiled a bit when she snuggled closer to his body, reaching her hand up to rub his arm.
Justin looked her over slowly and shook his head at how tired and exhausted she looked. He could tell right away that she wasn’t sleeping well, and he could see the worry lines still etched into her face even though she looked relaxed. He vowed to make things as normal as possible and to be strong for her because he knew she was tearing herself up about the situation. He missed having his best friend around; her smile, her bright brown eyes, her sarcasm and her enthusiasm, her love for life.
“Justin, I’m spending the night here instead of at your place with the rest of the guys,” she whispered breaking his train of thought. He focused in on her eyes and saw she was staring back at him with a look he could only describe as almost…fear.
“Why? I thought you wanted to hang out with us before we left?” he asked gently.
“I don’t want to like, intrude or anything…”
“You aren’t, why do you feel like that?
“I don’t know…”
“J you are the LAST person that would be intruding on anything in that house, why are you scared all of the sudden? Don’t tell me you aren’t, I can tell.”
“Justin I thought we were going to chill and relax, so why does it suddenly feel like we are back out there with the reporters?” she asked, getting angry. She began to sit up but Justin put his hands on her shoulders and held her in place lightly. She relaxed and sighed deeply; she didn’t want to get angry with him.
“I’m sorry, you are the last person in the world I want to argue with, especially right now. It’s fine, you don’t have to sleep at the house, I will spend the night here too then. I don’t think my mom would mind too much,” he added with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
“OK…well I am going to take a shower now, I just feel…”
“…Like you need some company? Eh?”
Jen laughed for the first time in awhile, and it was music to Justin’s ears. He saw a flicker of happiness in his friend’s eyes, and he was glad that he was the one that put it there.
“As tempting as that offer sounds…I wasn’t going to say that. Sorry J. Besides, I have seen you naked before…”
“When we were little…”
“So?”
“So I’m a MAN now girl.”
“And on THAT note, I am heading upstairs,” she said, getting up from the couch. She had missed the playful banter and comfort that they shared and in her mind this was exactly what she needed. She thanked Justin silently in her head for dropping the subject that she was staying at Lynn’s.
“Oh Justin?” Jen called from halfway up the stairs.
“Uh huh?”
“I KNOW you’re a man baby…and if your mom wasn’t home…” she trailed off and darted her eyes towards the kitchen, wiggled her eyebrows and then headed up the rest of the stairs. He looked up at her wide-eyed and then glanced towards the kitchen, shaking his head slightly.
Jen was in the shower, trying to wash what happened throughout the day off of her body. The hot water pounded against her skin as her mind drifted over the day’s events. Her mind then took her back even further, when *NSYNC had not even been created yet.
*Flashback*
(1995)
Jen is 15 years old and Justin is 14, and his MMC days are over. They are walking through a park, talking about classes and basketball on their way home from school.
“You could totally kick her ass JJ, I mean that girl is just NOT good, you will start over her,” a young Justin said, trying to boost his friends confidence.
“I don’t know, she’s kinda good…and the coach likes her J. I’d be like, punkin’ her spot. I’m just a sophomore, she’s a junior and it’s her second year on Varsity. We’ll see, our first game is next week, you coming?” she asked looking hopeful.
Justin shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. “You know I want to be there Jen, but…”
“…But you have some record stuff going on,” she said in a neutral voice, adjusting her bag on her back.
“J…”
“Justin it’s SO ok, come on now. I know how much it means to you, I’m not mad or anything,” she said with a forced smile.
“You are important to me too,” he said and grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Can we sit here for a sec?” he pointed to a bench and they walked over to it, pulling their bags off their backs and sitting down. Justin turned towards her and sighed.
“Spit it out yo, our parents are gonna want us home before next year,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully.
“Shut up, God sometimes I wonder why you are my friend ya know that? All this crap I have to put up with, eesh. OK well here’s the thing. You know how I’ve been hanging out with JC a lot? Recording demo’s and stuff with him and those other guys?”
“Mmmm, JC. He’s cute…”
“Jeez J focus here. Why do we talk about how ‘cute’ JC is whenever I mention his name? Whatever with JC, I’m cuter than he is. Anyway, we’ve been recording…”
“Uh huh, okay Stin…but JC is older than you, I like older men.”
“Jen you are 15…that’s like, cradle robbing for him, he’s 19.”
“Whatever, he likes me…” she said and waved him off. She then focused back on what he was saying.
“Whatever is right. ANYWAY, here is the thing. They have offered us a record contract…RCA…and I don’t know what to do.”
Jen looked at him and her eyes lit up. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “Oh my gosh Justin that is awesome! I can’t believe it! No way...you’ve dreamed of this…”
She stopped gushing and pulled back when she realized his hug was tentative. “What’s wrong?”
He took a deep breath and began. “Jen, I want to know what you think about all this. I mean, REALLY think. The whole thought of it is mind blowing, but after the initial shock, there is a lot to think about. My mom found out about this last night, when I got home real late, and she wouldn’t let me call you because she said your mom would kill me. Anyway, you know how important you are to me, and I wanted you honest opinion. If things go well, I really wouldn’t be home at all, and that means I wouldn’t see you or anything. If you think it’s a bad idea…I don’t think I would go through with it. What you think really affects what I do…”
Jen looked at him flabbergasted. “Justin I don’t know what to say. This is a wicked opportunity for you, you love this, you love entertainment…”
“Well I do…but if it means giving up our friendship, I just cant.”
*End Flashback*
As soon as Jen was upstairs, Justin picked up the phone and called his house, hoping the rest of the guys had made it back.
“Hello?”
“Hey JC it’s me.”
“Sup J? How are you guys, everything ok?”
“I think so, dude, can you put me on speaker phone?”
JC pushed the button and called the other guys into the room so they could all listen and talk to Justin. “Aiight man, you’re up.”
“I am spending the night here guys…Jen is like, nervous to sleep at the house and just told me she was staying here at my moms. She’s totally down in the dumps,” he explained, glancing up the stairs as he checked to see if the water was still running.
“I noticed that today, I wish she would just tell us what she’s feeling; she’s never all bottled up around us like she was today…I don’t like it,” JC replied and looked at the others.
“I was thinking…”
“Aww damn, Justy had a thought! Party!” Chris interrupted.
“Shut it gramps. I think we need to cheer her up. We were chillin’ over here and it was nice,”
“Don’t need the details lover boy, should we bring our sleeping bags and makeup?” Lance asked, teasing Justin.
“Sleeping bags, yes. Makeup…Lance you just…SCARE me. Hurry up; we can make it a little slumber party type thing. No tour talk, no tabloid talk, just food and random cheesy little games, a dance party, who KNOWS. We need to distract her, kay?”
The guys all agreed in a chorus of ‘ok’s and ‘sure thing’s and as they were hanging up, Justin could hear them talking about what they should bring. He smiled as he placed the phone back on the charger and glanced one more time up the flight of stairs. They were going to cheer Jen up if it was the last thing they did…before the tour that is. He let out a deep breath and tried to figure out just HOW he was going to leave her in two days. He was worried about how she would take the whole separation thing.
He was worried about how HE would take it.
